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The Rewriter's Room

The Rewriter's Room

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Just a couple of friends, and NO ONE ELSE, pretending like they can write better than professionals... BECAUSE THEY CAN! So join them as they turn highly anticipated box office flops into hit movies that will never, ever get made. Because they're too good? Thats for you to decide.In season 1,2 and 3 they will be exploring their love of Star Wars by trash talking the Star Wars Prequels and working their literary magic. So check your nostalgia at the door, then pick it back up again and step i ...
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Join us for a special role playing episode of The Rewriter's Room as our host, Graham, takes on the mantel of Story Guide in a HORRIFYING escape adventure of the TTRPG Coyote & Crow. Our players include, and are limited to, friends of the podcast Alex Cruz (Dezbah), Jessica Mystery (Jaya) and Coker (Ahanu), as well as enemy of the podcast Garrison …
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Welcome to T'ain't No Game Show, the only game show that ain't no game show. Don't miss tonight's episode where our contestants (Alex, Jessica, Brett and Leah) battle to understand the rules while their host, graham mendez, does everything he can to sabotage them. Don't expect graham to pull any punches and, though its easy to excuse the mistake, d…
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In today's bonus episode of The Write Writer's Room we are joined once again by Jessica Mystery. The whole gang comes to The Write Writer's Room with exciting new ideas for the world of cinema like: footloose with cartoon bees fighting capitalism, and Road Trip, but Tom Green. So pull up a chair and have a seat, because tonight we have the smooth s…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we're joined again by Garrison Davis live from his ocean-side compound to talk to us about the perfect Life Day meal. As always we are put to shame by Garrison's Star Wars wisdom. Sometimes the wisdom is a hard pill to swallow, but we break up the horror with our wacky antics. So pull up a chair, and have a…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we sit back to enjoy our Phil Collins record and a lukewarm Tab, Alex filters Star Wars through the lens of taco, and ideas are stored in the balls. So pull up a chair and have a seat, because you only have a million more weeks to live. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Owen and Beru make asses of themselves to their new neighbors, Alex gets confused about a basic aspect of our rewrite, and we call out the Longorias, the Shortgorias, the Mediumgorias. So pull up a chair and have a seat because Graham is about to sing a song. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you co…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Alex and Graham continue the millennia long masculine tradition of dry humping each other, the Empire comes prepared with toe caps, and we put a pin in Ackbar's noodle fingers. So pull up a chair and have a seat because we're being joined by our new friends: Brad and Human Brad A. Dog. --- Find all of The R…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we make of for being so productive by really just going on and on and on, Graham introduces Alex to dancing bear (no, not that Dancing Bear), and he also had his own room or something. So pull up a chair, and have a seat, because we're simping for Roomba. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could …
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we settle on what we want in our third actbar, Graham shares a wonderful limerick, and the rebellion has 299 of their finest fighters ready to make their last stand. So pull up a chair and have a seat, because huge scale allows for tiny holes. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at …
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Graham laments the limitations of only having two middle fingers, Alex tries to get us canceled in order to gin up some extra cash, and we start to see the strings of the galactic banker puppeteers. So pull up a bone and have a seat, because this episode is candle dippin' good. --- Find all of The Rewriter'…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Graham flexes his sports knowledge, Alex has a life altering realization, and our hosts do their dill jiligence? Jew dilligence? Jujutsu illigence! So pull of a chair and have a seat, because you can take the Jedi out of Degobah, but you can't take Degobah out of the Jedi. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room lin…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Obi-Wan opens a used mattress store, the John McTiernan Hunter's are on the prowl, and our hosts take a journey to the Nether Region. So pull up a chair and have a seat, because Graham and Alex are exhaustingly self absorbed. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritep…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we reveal an incredible new way to use the Death Star, Jedi Knights all across the galaxy discover the miraculous defensive properties of bread, and Savory Madam Tarkin opens a piano store. So pull up a chair and have a seat, because these filthy gravy slurpers aren't gonna insult themselves. --- Find all o…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we reveal our big 420 secret, Alex eats food wile recording, and our lawyer insists that we admit that no crimes were broken. So pull up a chair and have a seat 6 feet apart, because really, wear your fucking masks. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritepod --- Jam…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Disney's Graham: Graham and Disney's Graham: Alex narrowly avoid podcasting intervention, Vader is hoisted by his own petard and Chewbaka shares his beauty tips. So pull up a chair and have a seat, because Biggs is about to ruin the party. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at link…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room there is some exciting Disney related news, the Empire champions Medicare for All, and we share our cure for wilting balls. So pull up a chair and have a seat, because Michael Keaton is coming for your ass. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritepod --- Jam out with…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Alex and Graham make a pact that they would absolutely kill the other if they were already torturing them, the foreskin finally comes into play for Luke, and our hosts share their love of Dick. So pull up a chair and take a seat, because we're in for a crash landing on Tatooine. --- Find all of The Rewriter…
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In the first episode of the third season of The Rewriter's Room we jump right in and tackle some difficult questions that will guide us on our journey throughout the entirety of the season to come! Mostly; can you hold this gun real quick? But also; do you have Imperial Stick-to-itiveness? Either way, you should definitely pull up a chair, have a s…
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Welcome to The Rewriter's Room Theater. Today I have the pleasure of presenting Star Wars: Episode II The Darkness Speaks. This version will be presented without our hosts chattering away the whole time, but if you like to hear them chatter, there is another version available where they really just wont shut up. This version is PG and I hope you sh…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Alex runs the show and he does a damn okay job, our hosts get their necks tangled forming a PODCAST KING, and you better believe that a well oiled robot will always blow a snow plow. So pull up a cheddar biscuit and have a seat because we do not take Republic Credits around here. --- Find all of The Rewrite…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Graham and Alex pivot their target audience over to park pidgins, Padme gets an unexpected character update and we prepare for a #hotgirlchummer. So pull up a chair, but don't get too comfortable, because this is a quick one. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritep…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we're joined again by Garrison Davis who manages to not complain about Boba Fett, does shill Clone Wars reeealll hard, and confirms to us that clones do in fact fuck. So pull up a chair and have a seat, because we're gonna watch George Lucas bleed his own crystal. --- Check out Garrison on Twitter @hungrybo…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Graham forgets that you take notes so that you can remember things that happened not the other way around, we dole out some amazing life advice for tweens, and there's some hot tips for how to get the most bread and cheese. So pull up a chair and have a seat, because there are too many god damned beams. ---…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Alex shares the etymology of the word 'hipster' and how it derives from the Star Wars mythos, the audience needs to get off their lazy asses and do their fair share of the work, and Darth Vader soils the front of his suit. So pull up a chair and have a seat because it's time to talk about Wookiee pattern ba…
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In today's fallacious episode of The Rewriter's Room Dickie V joins us and really commits to an Adal Rifai impression, we learn what the GOP has done to make so many mad libs, and Darth GC Sandwich shows us the long power beyond our wildest cousins. so come on in, and you're up next, because Ada just failed his audition. --- Find all of The Rewrite…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we realize that we're in space just like all of those tattoo tweens, one of my wives' friends informs us that she's not that kind of corridor, and we decide we need another 40 years to think about these movies. So pull up a chair and have a seat because my frost ray is better than your burning cattle. --- F…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Alex barely says anything at all, Graham invents the force field and we use math to get to the bottom of how many cops it would take to brutalize the galaxy. Hint; a million more on the way ain't shit. So pull up a chair and have a seat because Anakin is going to teach us how to make the perfect proposal PB…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room the batch number is too damn high, we begin to dissect sci-fi taxonomy and Jizzing Across the Galaxy: is it a yo-yo trick, or a sex move? You decide! So pull up a chair, and have a seat, because a broken cake is write twice a day. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rew…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room that other guy shows us how to suck a Sharpie white, Jar Jar meets Obi-Wan again but worse, and always remember: Spitno, shit yes. So pull up a chair and grab a shirt; they'll be your trauma buddy for the day. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritepod --- Jam out w…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Anakin reveals his checkered past with the Biden administration, Graham doesn't watch Shark Tank but is pretty sure they're nailing it, and we talk extensively about Bayblades. So pull up a bench have a seat next to Alex, because he's gonna be sitting this one out. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links …
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room that other guy is looking for love in all the wrong places (did i do that joke right?), Graham foresees the future (you'll find out later), and Admiral Ackbar von Trap is learning to count down in Huttese. So pull up a chair and have a seat because you need to leave us some damn comments. --- Find all of Th…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room everyone in the galaxy gets wet. We explore the depths of god's shaft. And Alex lets us in on the mystery of what is the opposite of stuff. So pull up a chair and have a seat because we're gonna spend a lot of time gazing at our own reflection. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room that other guyheads out to sea, never to be seen again. Those of us left lap at the milk patch and we stretch this episode out to 10 inches. So pull up a chair and have a seat because the floor is made of acid. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritepod --- Jam out …
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we browse eBay for swanky Star Wars crap, Graham discovers the whereabouts of the missing archive info, and Rancho Rewritero is finishing up construction. So pull up a pillow and have a seat, because Jedi mysticism is about to blow your god damned minds. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could d…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we de-Grievify laser swords, Alex gets engaged and Star Wars takes on an unprecedented level of slapstick. So pull up an egg carton and have a seat because things are about to get a little juicy. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritepod --- Jam out with Alex's Ban…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room the gang discusses their differing approaches to lawn defecation, that other guy updates us on the boat show he didn't want to go to 3 weeks ago, and Jabba plays winter wonderland. So pull up a chair and have a seat before Obi Wan gets a chance to acquaint himself with your insides. --- Find all of The Rewr…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we explore the intricate and fascinating history of Jedi phrenology, the rivers run with power, and Alex goes shopping for prom dresses and tow trucks. So pull up a chair and have a seat because it's time for rings vs. disks round two. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.e…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we're joined by future Luke Skywalker, and current youth, Garrison Davies who helps us talk about pictures that you can't see, analyze the structural integrity of load bearing bangs, and decide which tier of shit this podcast belongs in. So pull up a rock and have a seat, because Jedi Academy is in session.…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we talk space huts, we talk shitting in pots, we talk discs in faces, but through it all, remember to keep your chin up. So pull up a chair and sit in it because I'm about to take you to SHTEAM. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritepod --- Jam out with Alex's Band…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we talk the ethics of genocide, we're joined by a special guest; Graham's Printer, and we try to figure out what the fuck does a Jedi knight do as a general for a monarchy nestled in a republic. So pull up a chair and- oh, hey Bail. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/r…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room, That other guy draws us all some lovely artwork, Anakin won't get none of dat damn moss, and we bring some god damned civility to this bitch. So pull up a chair, and contemplate the unhealthy codependency you have with sitting down. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/…
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In today's holiday episode of The Rewriter's Room we're going to subject ourselves to the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special, a load of shit so big that it only ever aired once. This is going to be a commentary track that should be a fun listen on it's own, but we're including the link to the special so you can follow along when we tell you to start. S…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we accidentally descend into another episode where we enable that other guy to complain about Kathleen Kennedy for an hour and a half. George Lucas over shares on Graham's answering machine. And Graham's daughter is a special guest host. I would tell you to pull up a seat, but you'll have to fight a dog and…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room we talk conspiracy theories from the land of Star Wars. Graham can no longer imitate John Cleese, Maul comes for the lives and we descide we need 4 more movies. So you can come on in, but unfortunately all of the chairs are being used by EV-12 and Ackbar. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could …
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room, in order to sort out the details of Jojo-Wan Kenobi's backstory, we must open a long sealed x-file. George Lucas forgets how many feet go under a Bantha, and there's a real life igam eht fo tfig. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritepod --- Jam out with Alex's Ba…
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Big news in this weeks episode of The Rewriter's Room! that other guy totally fucks up everything we've ever worked for and once again fails to grasp the concept of an audio medium and shares a video with us. But despite what he might think, we never fucking argue on this podcast, so pull up a chair, have a seat and shut the fuck up. --- Find all o…
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In today's episode of The Rewriter's Room Anakin is so unnoticed that he gets a firsthand glimpse at Jedi mating rituals, but it's okay... he knows how to jump. We meet Maul's brother Paul and they discuss the mechanics of space chess. Like. How does it even work? So sit down and prepare yourself, because that other guy ruins the audio by playing t…
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I'm gonna cut it short today. No twins. Synthetic bad. Water tubes. Space alderman. --- Find all of The Rewriter's Room links you could dream of at linktr.ee/rewritepod --- Jam out with Alex's Band on Instagram @thewaytheworldends210 --- And much thanks to T.C. Costello for our intro song - https://tccostello.bandcamp.com/…
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