Slate's premier advice column, featuring Jenée Desmond-Harris, helps you navigate the thorniest questions of relationships, work, and life.
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Slate's advice columnist Prudie (better known as Emily Yoffe) dispenses advice about romance, workplace strife, and life's other little messes.
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My Partner Sticks Her Finger in Food to Taste Test It. Help!
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In this episode, Dan Pashman (The Sporkful and Anything’s Pastable) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to handle a person who tastes food in an unsanitary fashion and deeply annoys you while you’re trying to cook in a tiny kitchen, what to do when your dinner party invitations aren’t reciprocated, and wheth…
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My Parents Are Flaunting Their Wealth While I’m Drowning in Debt. Help!
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In this episode, Joel Anderson (host of Slow Burn and writer of Emotional Investment) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about when to stop funding a “train wreck” daughter’s lifestyle, how to deal with watching your parents take expensive vacations when you’re broke, and whether to seek replacement costs when a frie…
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My Ex Had Sex With My Brother. Help!
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38:28
In this episode, Michael Arceneaux (I Can’t Date Jesus and I Finally Bought Some Jordans) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about an interracial couple’s debate over African-centered home decor, how to cope with homesickness for a place you don’t actually want to live, and whether it’s fair to cut off an ex. If you …
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I Want People to Shut Up! Help!
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39:18
In this episode, Aubrey Gordon (who you may also know as “Your Fat Friend”) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to handle unwanted comments about Ozempic-fueled weight loss, how to get people to stop talking so much, and how to deal with the stress of a unconventional—and potentially disruptive—wedding guest…
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Am I a Bad Father If I Don't Want to Acknowledge My Kid Publicly? Help!
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In this episode, Jay Smooth (Underground Railroad and Think Twice: Michael Jackson) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to find empathy for deeply unreasonable people who are totally wrong, how to navigate becoming a parent by accident, and how to reach out to support a friend without being “a cringey white …
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My Friend Has a Master’s Degree in Lying. Help!
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36:32
In this episode, Jenny Hagel (Jenny Hagel Gives Advice and Late Night Trash Can with Jenny Hage) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to react to tacky gifts from your ex-husband’s girlfriend, what it means when your date says, “our energies didn’t mesh,” and whether to call out a friend who inexplicably lies…
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How Do I Get Over Someone I Never Dated? Help!
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In this episode, Jenna Wortham (Black Futures and Still Processing) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to get over a crush, what to do about a fiancé’s sneaky candy bar habit, and how to cope when your best friend’s secret social media reveals that she’s an unapologetic bigot who hates pretty much everyone.…
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Is My Work Husband Keeping Me A Secret From His Wife? Help!
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36:05
In this episode, Gia Peppers (Healed Girl Era and More Than That) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to set boundaries with your friend now boss, how to help a friend who won’t help herself, and to determine if there’s a red flag in a work-spouse relationship. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate Plus…
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Am I a Bigot If I Don’t Want to Date Foreigners? Help!
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29:23
In this episode, Michael Hobbes (If Books Could Kill and Maintenance Phase) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to tell a friend they’re a horrible boss, whether a husband who won’t open the bathroom shades to give the plants light is a problem, and what to do when your friends setting you up on dates makes …
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My Husband Stopped Using Soap and He Stinks. Help!
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39:21
In this episode, Cheryl Strayed (Dear Sugar and Tiny Beautiful Things) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about whether it’s a good idea to offer to be your platonic best friend’s housewife, how to handle a husband’s disturbing body odors, and what an overachieving eldest millennial daughter can do to find happiness.…
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I Spend Hours a Day Having Intense Romantic Daydreams. Help!
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42:12
In this episode, our first-ever married couple, Liz Neeley and Ed Yong, join Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about what to do when you discover your birthday gift and hate it, how to avoid losing respect for a partner who procrastinates, and whether it’s a problem if romantic daydreams are starting to stifle real-life r…
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A DNA Test Revealed a Secret Sibling. Help!
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37:07
In this episode, Jamelle Bouie (New York Times opinion columnist) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to turn down gifts that make you cringe, what to do when you discover a sibling was given up for adoption before you were born, and when it’s too late to chase your dreams If you want more Dear Prudence, joi…
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I Don’t Want to Cancel My Retirement Plans to Babysit. Help!
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In this episode, Nicole Chung (author of A Living Remedy and All You Can Ever Know) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers dilemmas about a husband who wants to give up travel for grandpa duty, a partner who’s becoming really pushy about issues around adoption, and an engagement ring that could use a little work. If you …
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Outward: We’re Here, We’re Queer, Here’s Some Advice!
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On today’s episode brought to us Slate’s Outward, hosts Jules Gill-Peterson and Bryan Lowder, are joined by advice expert Danny Lavery to talk through some relationship issues. They share their thoughts on expectations around divorce as queer people, low self-esteem, and why shaming someone over hygiene might not be a bad idea. If you have a questi…
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My Mother-In-Law Doesn’t Wash Her Hands After Using The Bathroom. Help!
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43:38
In this episode, Josie Duffy Rice (host of Crooked Media’s What a Day) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers discussing racially charged Next Door drama, a man who asks his girlfriend to butter his dinner rolls, and how to nicely ask a loved one to wash their hands after using the bathroom. If you want more Dear Prudenc…
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I Rejected A Friend’s Sexual Advance—Now He’s Being Weird. Help!
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39:23
In this episode, Brittany Luse (host of NPR’s’ It’s Been a Minute) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers who are dealing with friends who hold grudges when their sexual advances are rejected, unsupportive coffee shop bosses, and people who keep tracking fleas into their homes. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate …
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My Friend Won’t Stop Buying Me Gifts. Help!
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In this episode, the co-hosts of Forever 35, Kate Spencer and Doree Shafrir, join Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about whether it’s okay to reject holiday gifts, how to cope when participating in a charity turkey giveaway pisses you off, and what to do when your best friend won’t read your book. If you want more Dear P…
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I Want to "Cancel" My Bad Boss But I'm Having Doubts. Help!
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In this episode, Elie Mystal (attorney and writer) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters about what to do when you're wary of "cancel culture" but want to hold a bad boss accountable, what to do when it feels like nobody cares about spreading germs, and whether slumber parties are “sending kids into trauma. If you want more Dear Pru…
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Revisiting Advice from LeVar Burton
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We’re listening back to one of Jenée’s favorite episodes when award-winning actor, director, and educator LeVar Burton joined Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters from readers about stealing from abusive parents, sharing snacks with children, and how to cope as an actor when you don’t land a role you really wanted. If you want more …
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My Family Won't Let Me Host for the Holidays. Help!
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In this episode, Dan Kois (writer at Slate) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters about dilemmas around holiday celebrations: what to do when no one will come to yours, what to do when people are trying to force you to come to theirs, and how to move past the time you burnt the pies while wearing a vomit covered shirt. If you want m…
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My Coworker Keeps Kissing Me on the Cheek. Help!
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39:39
In this episode, Alison Green (author of Ask a Manager) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters about workplace dilemmas: what to do when you can’t stop crying at the office, whether it makes sense to share an autism diagnosis with your team, and PDA with a colleague. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate Plus, Slate’s membership…
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My Friend Tried to Bring Her Kids to A Winery. Help!
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43:10
In this episode, the co-hosts of Slate’s ICYMI, Rachelle Hampton and Candice Lim, join Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about whether the following categories of people are unreasonable: moms who bring their kids to wineries, boyfriends who refuse to hard launch their girlfriends on social media, and husbands who are sus…
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I’m Making Bitchy Comments to A Dog! Help!
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38:54
In this episode, Maeve Higgins (author of Maeve in America: Essays by a Girl From Somewhere Else) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to respond when everyone thinks your toxic ex is brave and amazing, where to turn when your absentee dad has done psychedelics and forgiven himself a little too enthusiastical…
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Is It Okay to Ghost A Friend? Help!
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39:37
In this episode, Roxane Gay (best-selling author of Bad Feminist and Opinions) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to decline a colleague’s invitation to dinner, when it’s okay to ghost a friend for good reasons, and whether it’s possible to say positive about love when you’re burned out on dating apps. If y…
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Is It Too Early in the Relationship to Say "I Love You"? Help!
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34:46
In this episode, Tracy Clayton (co-host of Pineapple Street Studios’ Back Issue) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about coworkers who beg for baked goods, a husband who has a troubling amount of fun with his friends, and a boyfriend who said I love you way too soon (maybe?) If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slat…
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My Girlfriend Is Always Late! Help!
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43:58
In this episode, Ashley C. Ford (author of the bestselling memoir Somebody’s Daughter) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about whether conflicting ideas about children should end a relationship between two twenty-somethings, what to do when a friend is obsessed with her husband’s band, and if it’s acceptable to leav…
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Should I Donate Sperm To My Ex? Help!
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38:29
In this episode, Amy Aniobi (best known for her work on HBO's Insecure) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about donating sperm to their ex, whether you should decline to be a bridesmaid because you feel ugly, and if you should be concerned that your partner is obsessed with murder stories. If you want more Dear Prud…
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I Don't Want My Dad to Give Me Away at My Wedding. Help!
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46:03
In this episode, Caroline Moss (writer, editor, and author) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to break it to your dad that he’s not invited to walk you down the aisle, what to do with wedding photos that include a sibling’s ex, and whether it’s okay to tell loved ones you never want to vacation with them. …
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My Partner’s Relationship With His Ex Makes Me Feel Like the Third Wheel. Help!
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36:44
In this episode, Tia Williams (bestselling author of The Perfect Find) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to cope with excessive Facebook photos of your partner’s ex, how to mourn a racist in-law’s death, and how to have a cute summer romance in Italy. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate Plus, Slate’…
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My Sister Is Lying to My Nephews About Their Father's Identity. Help!
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44:48
In this episode, Gene Demby (co-host of NPR's Code Switch) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about crushes that are complicated by power dynamics, family secrets about racial identity, and whether loud talking is a cultural issue that could end a relationship. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate Plus, Slate’s…
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Relationship Podcasts Are Ruining My Friend's Life. Help!
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40:57
In this episode, Dr. Orna Guralnik (host of Showtime's Couples Therapy) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about what to do when a friend is obsessed with misogynistic love and relationship podcasts, when your husband just can’t figure out birthday gifts, and when you’re wondering “Does therapy just not work for me?”…
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My Wife Goes Braless Around Our Teenage Sons. Help!
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45:22
In this episode, Brian Lehrer (host of WNYC’s The Brian Lehrer Show) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how roommates should handle mismatched levels of COVID caution, how to split a check when your friends forget they had appetizers, and how to settle a debate about going braless around teenage sons. If you wa…
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I Told My Husband I May Have Postpartum Depression—He Did Nothing. Help!
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51:05
In this episode, Lori Gottlieb (advice columnist and co-host of the Dear Therapists podcast) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about postpartum depression, wedding-planning anxiety, and what to do when you think neurodivergent people are getting away with way too much. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate Plus…
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My Co-Worker Won’t Stop Sending Me Friend Requests Online. Help!
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29:11
In this episode, Joel Anderson (the host of the latest season of Slate’s Slow Burn) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters about persistent friend requests from colleagues, allegations of white supremacy surrounding graduation attire, and what to do when your biggest relationship issue is cat litter in the bed. If you want more Dear …
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My Sister Is Doing Everything She Can to Make Me Suffer at Her Wedding. Help!
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34:57
In this episode, Jasmine Guillory (a New York Times bestselling author) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers who are obsessing about what happens when an affair partner becomes a coworker, girls’ trip drama, and friends with benefits who also have benefits with other friends. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate …
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My Boyfriend Hid His Hobby From Me—Civil War Reenactments. Help!
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47:25
In this episode, Damon Young (a writer, critic, and a self-proclaimed “professional black person”) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers who are obsessing about their lackluster high school tennis careers, their awkward interaction with their crushes, and whether participation in civil war reenactments is a dating deal …
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How Do I Disclose to My Kids That I've Had an Abortion–Twice? Help!
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48:37
In this episode, Jessica Valenti (a feminist columnist and author) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer readers’ letters about whether it’s okay to ghost friends who don’t respect your reproductive choices, how to deal with a spouse who is a slob, and when to tell your kids you’ve had an abortion. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate…
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My Friends Got Me a Terrible Birthday Gift. Help!
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37:25
In this episode, Josh Gondelman (author, producer, and stand-up comedian) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer readers’ dilemmas about workplace coffee runs, unwanted birthday gifts, pets who steal food—and husbands who react really strangely when that happens. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate Plus, Slate’s membership program. Je…
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I Hate My Fiancé’s Mustache—but He Refuses to Get Rid of It. Help!
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44:31
In this episode, Meredith Goldstein (advice columnist and features writer for The Boston Globe) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer readers’ dilemmas about commitment, wedding locations, and whether you’re allowed to make demands about your partner’s facial hair. If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate Plus, Slate’s membership program.…
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A Co-Worker I Dated is Spreading Rumors About Our Breakup. Help!
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40:57
In this episode, Candice Lim (co-host of Slate’s ICYMI) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about whether to reject invitations from friends with filthy homes, how to cope when everyone at the office thinks you're a cheater, and what to do when you suspect your ambitious partner is about to burn out…and you’re kind of…
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How Do You Know When It’s Time to Break Up With a Friend? Help!
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48:39
In this episode, Alisha Wainwright (actor and host of the new podcast series, When Science Finds A Way) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters from readers about friends who don’t call you when they’re in your town, the pros and cons of dating divorced men, and what to do when you’ve pressured your friend to break up with someon…
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I Tested My Partner’s Parenting Readiness and He’s Upset. Help!
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38:44
In this episode, Ophira Eisenberg (host of the new comedy podcast Parenting Is A Joke) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters from readers about whether to make your partner pass a test before having kids, how to handle it when you fall for someone else right in front of your boyfriend, and what to do when your friend seems to t…
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I Think My Husband Is Quiet Quitting Our Marriage. Help!
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39:18
In this episode, Shan Boodram (host of Lovers and Friends and Bumble's Sex & Relationship Expert) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters from readers about what to do when your work crush starts ignoring you, when your spouse quietly quits the marriage, and when a partner’s mom seems to control his every move. If you want more D…
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I Think My Wife Is Cheating On Me—With A Robot. Help!
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55:01
In this episode, the co-hosts of Stitcher’s Vibe Check, Sam Sanders, Saeed Jones, and Zach Stafford joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters from readers about sharing food with ungrateful people, wanting to date a friend’s crush, and getting emotional needs satisfied by AI. If you want more Dear Prudence, you should join Slate Pl…
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I Saved My Neighbor’s Life And Now She Won't Leave Me Alone. Help!
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39:46
In this episode, Kelsey McKinney (host of Radiotopia’s Normal Gossip and co-owner of Defector.com) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters from readers about who to share random thoughts with after your spouse dies, what to do when you’ve saved a neighbor’s life but don’t want to be friends with her, and how to handle petty insul…
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I Think My Dad Is Cheating On My Mom. Help!
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35:43
In this episode, co-host of Red Table Talk and host of Positively Gam Adrienne “Gammy” Banfield Norris joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters from readers about friends who make bad choices, a groomzilla who is being snobby about wedding planning, and a 70-year-old father who might be cheating using dating apps. If you want more…
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My Co-Worker Repeatedly Ignores My Boundaries. Help!
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37:11
In this episode, LeVar Burton --award-winning actor, director, and educator-- joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters from readers about stealing from abusive parents, sharing snacks with children, and how to cope as an actor when you don’t land a role you really wanted. If you want more Dear Prudence, you should join Slate Plus,…
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Should I Travel Across the World With My Ex? Help!
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38:08
In this episode, Aisha Harris (co-host for NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters from readers with dilemmas about friends who are terrible writers, coworkers who use therapy speak, and whether it’s a good idea to travel with an ex. If you want more Dear Prudence, you should join Slate Plus, Slate’s…
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I Was Only “Verbally” Invited to a Wedding. Help!
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41:12
In this episode, Cheyna Roth (podcast producer for Slate’s The Waves) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters about weddings: whether parents are obligated to pay for weddings they don’t support, whether a mean sister should get to attend an elopement, and whether you are really invited if you don’t have a paper invitation in han…
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My Close Friend Is Spiraling And I Live Far Away. Help!
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42:24
In this episode, Lane Moore (bestselling author of How To Be Alone and the upcoming You Will Find Your People) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer your letters about friends: how to make them, how to help them when they’re spiraling, and whether to tell them when they’re making bad relationship choices. Also, since this is Pet Advice Week…
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