How to Prove to Yourself that You Matter

Monday Morning Mindset Shift

We use social media, likes and comments, compliments from others, our parents telling us they’re proud of us… We actively go out and search for honest understanding. Acknowledgement. Feelings. That’s the how. The WHY is because it’s human nature. As we’ve spoken about 100 times, one of the most essential human needs is to feel significant, and the way we do this is through validation.

But validating your OWN thoughts and emotions will help you manage yourself more effectively. Because social media won’t always be there for you. It helps you find wisdom. It helps you become more self aware. If you accept that you are feeling… jealousy, for example, and you understand the reason behind it, then you can learn from your own experience. You can validate your own feelings, and move on - and up. Being present validates that YOU and your feelings matter. Feel the physical sensations.

1) Mindfulness - Not mindfulness as in meditation or just… yoga practice, but mindfulness as in being here and now. Being mindful of your emotions without pushing them away. Being present. Listening to yourself, even if the sadness, hurt, or fear is challenging. Avoiding emotions can result in negative consequences.
2) Honest Reflection - Label the feelings accurately. Stick to the facts once you observe and describe your experiences. Exactly what emotion are you feeling? What triggered that thought? What action to you want to take. “I am a loser and nobody wants to spend time with me” is not a fact. That’s your take on it. “I feel angry and disappointed that sandy cancelled our lunch date. I feel tightness in my chest, and a little fear as well” are observable facts.

3) If you’re like me, someone you don’t know what emotion you’re feeling… the best you can do is look at an emoji chart online, and point to the face. Or ask yourelf what someone else would be feeling if they were in your position. You can also guess your emotion based on the action you want to take. If sandy cancels lunch, and you want to send her a text with a lot of 4 letter words, then changes are, you’re feeling hurt and anger.

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