Chapter One Feven Feven - Fexifm. It's just gone midday on 21st November 2024 and a toned Richard Herring, straight from a perfonal training feffion, is out clearing stones from the melting frozen vulva of the soil. Desperate for new listeners to replace the ones who have died from boredom he tries to emulate Peter Kay, Bernard Manning and Ricky Ge…

Chapter 176 - Ye Ten Commandmentf. It's the morning of the 15th November 2024 and Richard has returned to the Stocean, but there's someone missing. And there's loads of blinking stones. Madrigals and commandments proliferate and there's a break down in the recording but you don't miss much. Plus should we judge people by their crimes or their stone…

Frame 181 - No Sound. Me1 and Me2 are back in a new arena, with a new board and a very shoddy affair all round. If you're listening to the audio there's a good 5 to 10 minutes with no sound as Rich didn't turn on his mics, but we're leaving that in so you can enjoy it. If you're watching in video it's just as confusing. The referee loses track of w…

The adventures of Grett Binchleaf as a kid. Get the rest of the book at www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/Kirjoittanut British Comedy Guide

We watched the final Indiana Jones movie (if you don't count those two that came after it) - and now we're going to recount the plot in detail. This episode contains spoilers for every single thing that happens in Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade. Get loads more exclusive episodes right now by joining the gang at www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episo…

Chapter 175 - Ftanding on ye Fhoulderf of Nerdf. It's 8.05am on the 26th September and tomorrow Richard moves a good 5 miles away from the Stocean, a distance that might mean he can never return here again. Will he clear all the stones today? Well with a little help from the Gods, who knows? Has the six plus years out on the field made any differen…

We watched the final Indiana Jones movie (if you don't count those two that came after it) - and now we're going to recount the plot in detail. This episode contains spoilers for every single thing that happens in Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade. Get all of this story now by joining the gang for just $2 at www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:ht…

Chapter 174 - Ozymandiuf (Part II). It's 2.08pm on 21st September 2024 and a worried Richard Herring is out trying to get this job done before he moves in six days. It's not looking that good. The Stone Stasi, depleted by Covid, send a couple of kids out to do an adult's job, but they are no match for Richard Herring. Is it better to leave a couple…

Chapter 173 - Ftone Phalluf. It's 7.20am on 18th September 2024 and Richard is out on what might be his penultimate podcast (surely he will make the five mile trip to carry on in the unlikely event that he doesn't finish the job by the end of next week). Today we look at the problem of soil coloured stones and stone like soil clumps, the irresistib…

Chapter 172 - Fticky Fingerf. It's 5.36pm on 10th September 2024 - don't worry, you haven't missed 9/11 - It's a grey and rainy autumn day, but we know all about feafons after so many years of trudging these ftone encrufted paths. There's a deadline to clear the Stocean now - the last Friday of the month, but Rich seems to think he can finish the j…

We read a short story that Howard wrote recently (just 11 years ago) about a man, a dog, and a bag.Get loads more exclusive episodes right now by joining the gang at https://www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/Kirjoittanut British Comedy Guide

Chapter 171: Parabola? Parabola?! It's about 9.20am on 30th August 2024 and Richard hasn't moved yet, so stone clearing can still go on. The Stocean is turning from brown to green and Richard has strict rules about removing soil and the perfect kick technique to share with you. Should he clear the field metre by metre? What does he say to the Stone…

Chapter 170 - Balloonf and Ballf. It's 9:08am on the 19th August 2024 and the early morning is warm, the kind of conditions where a stone clearer could pass out and go missing for weeks. But the good news is that full Ftone Chriftmaf has finally arrived and the stones are there for the taking. So for the first time in a long time, the Charley Boorm…

Chapter 169 - Ftone Potatoef. It's nearly 6pm on 14th August 2024 and the Stone Clearing podcast is not coming to an end as quickly as Richard thought. There's at least a month to go, which is lucky, because it's Ftone Chriftmaf, waffocks! At last, after months of puny stones we have something to get our teeth into, which is tempting as some of the…

This is the way the WuWuWorld ends, not with a bang but a WuWuWhimper. (Probably not wise to start with this story, as it's kind of a sequel to several stories we've previously released, especially Jack's Turkeys.)Get all three episodes of this story now by joining the gang for just $2 at https://www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.c…

Chapter 168 - A Puff of Fmoke. It's nearly 6pm on the 30th July 2024 and we've learned by now with stone clearing to expect the unexpected, but no one could have expected the unexpected thing that happens today. Which is why you need 168 lessons on how to clear stones, because of all the unexpected stuff that can happen. Where did the unexpected th…

This is the way the WuWuWorld ends, not with a bang but a WuWuWhimper. (Probably not wise to start with this story, as it's kind of a sequel to several stories we've previously released, especially Jack's Turkeys.)Get all three episodes of this story now by joining the gang for just $2 at www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.comedy.co…

Chapter 167 - Fkidmarkf. It feels like only yesterday we last did this, because it is. It's just before 6pm on 22nd July 2024 and there's big news out on the Stocean. Fadly you miffed ye joyriderf, but even more exciting, ye crop fhe if gone. Richard wifhed it and fo it muft be fhall. Will throes of all the rape plants mean that the stones are fina…

Chapter One Fix Fix - Fifyphean Fubbuteo Fuccubuf. It's 1.05pm on 21st July 2024 and the fun is fhining and Richard is starting to worry that he may not clear the field in time and is worried about the consequences of that failure. But there's probably still time and if not there is still time to learn some new stone-clearing terms. But there are b…

Chapter 165 - Ftone Pole Fail. It's 5.10pm approx on 15th July 2024 and the end of stone clearing steps ever nearer, but that has always been the case, that's the nature of time. It's another disappointing clear as Richard is hampered by vegetation and lack of fitness and peanuts in his throat. But you have to liften anyway. Juft in cafe fome pearl…

Chapter 164 - Fodden. It's 5.24pm on 9th July 2024 and Richard Herring is on the cusp of his 57th birthday (do not send him nude pictures to celebrate) and has only a couple of weeks to go to clear the Stocean. Can he do it in time or will he have to commute? The rape seed pods have an unexpected and sexy (to perverts) surprise for Richard and the …

This is the way the WuWuWorld ends, not with a bang but a WuWuWhimper. (Probably not wise to start with this story, as it's kind of a sequel to several stories we've previously released, especially Jack's Turkeys.)Get all three episodes of this story now by joining the gang for just $2 at https://www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.c…

With the light fading, this long-awaited series comes to its long-awaited end. We hope it has brought some fun and frivolity to your otherwise dank existence but, if it hasn't, may we suggest you complain to the BBC, as they've much more time on their hands than we have right now. While you dip your nib in green ink, why not listen with your lughol…

13-year-old Howard wrote a story about all his classmates going to a party - where two uninvited guests cause havoc, and all the boys are devilishly handsome. Join the gang for loads of exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/Kirjoittanut British Comedy Guide

Chapter 163 - Going for Ftones!. It's 9:20am on 21st June 2024 and the spectre of the end of the podcast hangs over us all, but for now we plough on (no pun intended as this is a feriouf podcaft). There's medieval fongs and some dog poo and the possibility that Richard has been tricked into advertising someone during this chapter. It's very hot and…

Put on your boogie shoes and listen to this week's collection of lunatic skits and whatnot, or vice versa. Trilby hats are well to the fore, along with a giant aubergine and a cucumber sandwich or two, but all is not as it seems - or is it? Or, indeed, isn't it? Become a hit at parties simply by tuning in, identify the cast members and what sordid …

Frame 180 - Your Next Prime Minister. The Mes are back and this time the match determines who will lead this great self-playing, lonely nation. It's some of the best snooker we've ever seen on the old green board, so don't miss it!More episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/richard_herring_snooker/…

Believe it or not, someone who purports to be 80s pop star Nik Kershaw makes a guest appearance in this week's fun-filled show, in which a jingle is played backwards. But what does he - or anyone else, for that matter - know about crockery belonging to Nobel prize winners? And can The Actor Greg Haiste complete his own joke before it's too late? Li…

Once again, we're releasing an episode from our most Secret of Gangs on Patreon - into the wild.It's the Mister Fluckcast! Starring Mister Fluck, Mike & Brian, and Gorbilla.All ten episodes of the It's the Mister Flcukcast are available now for just USD$7 at patreon.com/manbuycow - as well as hundreds of other exclusive audio episodes.More episodes…

Episode 99 - Agadoo. Twitch of Fun springs back to life for its 99th episode and it's a heartfelt tribute to the fallen of D Day, amongst other things. There's no pressure to be funny luckily and this is just a conversation between two old mates that encompasses Rupert Murdoch's ventriloquist dummy face, the escalation in the chocolate button war, …

Chapter 162 - Mega Chocolate Button Madneff. It's the evening of 5th June 2024 and Richard Herring is high on life, but more pertinently high on Chocolate Buttons and the result is a podcast so unhinged that my first impetus was that no one must ever hear it. But in the end I think it's an important podcast to put out to warn younger listeners of t…

Why not walk around your garden while listening to this week's episode, part of which comes to you from a cupboard on the back lot at Universal Studios? If you don't have a garden of your own, why not walk around someone else's garden, such as the President of the United States. His security detail will be very happy to see you. Whilst you're peram…

Chapter 161 - Keir Ftarmer - It's 8.40am on 30th May 2024 and Richard Herring's sanity is resting on a knife edge, but join him as he sings too many medieval songs and tells you not to vote Labour and gives a preview of his new podcast about dog fhit. Do you need to send help? Are you even listening? If a podcast is made in a field of hemlock and n…

In this week's jam-packed episode, which was constructed with the aid of a complex arrangement of ropes and pulleys, we take a sideways look at the week's biscuits. A Jammie Dodger from Tinseltown tells some tall tales and, due to circumstances beyond our Fig Roll, more of your letters and emails are given an airing in Dear Dredge, although sometim…

Well, if it isn't the long-awaited return of our long-awaited show. If it isn't, we don't know what it is. If you happen to know, write to the usual address and you could win a clock radio. That's right, we've somehow managed to re-engage our cast of several to bring you a fresh set of Smurftastic sketches and sounds from the very epicentre of some…

First, we read Young Howard's opinion piece on teen pregnancy, then we try out slightly-less-young Howard's idea for a whole new podcast - which, unfortunately, we couldn't even get one whole episode out of. ...Join the gang www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/…

Chapter 160 - White Dog Fhit. It's about 8.44am on 16th May 2024 and Richard's brain seems to be gradually atrophying into sludge. There isn't much time left for this ftocean but Herring is determined to Get Stone-Clearing Done. And at least 25 stones get nicely cleared during this fairly fcatalogical podcast. Why is he wasting his time doing this …

Episode 98 - There is a Green Hill Far Away. An unexpected Wednesday Twitch of Fun from an overly tired Richard Herring, but those are usually the worst and thus the best ones. Ally and Herring discuss walking in Noel Edmonds’ shoes, whether the Queen has a furry muff, why blood is like a butterfly, whether there’s room for a Baby Reindeer characte…

Rufus & Howard retell another of their favourite movies - Supergirl from 1984, starring Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway & Peter O'Toole in their greatest roles (squirt?) Follow us @worstwritershow - join the gang www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/Kirjoittanut British Comedy Guide

Chapter 159 - Buffineff Af Ufual. It's 16.48 on 1st May and there are a lot of stones to clear between now and our August deadline and that's without having a dog with the squits, a child with scarlet fever and a weird dizziness. But the stones must be cleared and boy are about 23 of them cleared today? Yes they are. Will rape seed ever be renamed?…

Chapter 158, Fame Coin, Different Fides. It's 9.01am on 24th April 2024 and a giddy Richard Herring is heading out to the Ftocean, desperate to finish his task before it is too late. And don't skip this one, it includes some important info on what to do with stones that are to your left or right and a desperate plea to make love to a man in a flat …

Frame 179 - CBD. In a crucial frame, Me 1 takes on Me 2 at the sport of snooker and without hyperbole this frame is the greatest sporting event of all time. It may not count in the record books as both players are drug enhanced, but drugs are great and everyone should take them all the time. Anyway see or listen to what happens.More episodes:https:…

Rufus & Howard retell another of their favourite movies - Supergirl from 1984, starring Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway & Peter O'Toole in their greatest roles (squirt?).Get all six episodes of Supergirl now by joining the gang for just $2 at https://www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/…

Chapter 157 - Ye Ftone Fettee. It's 8.38am on 18th April 2024 and the first recorded stone clear in almost two months, so most of the podcast is the reading out of the thousands of aggrieved emails that Richard definitely got about his absence, not none like you thought. The end may be in sight though for the podcast, but that is not a reason to gi…

Rufus & Howard retell another of their favourite movies - Supergirl from 1984, starring Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway & Peter O'Toole in their greatest roles (squirt?).Get all six episodes of Supergirl now by joining the gang for just $2 at https://www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/…

Rufus & Howard retell another of their favourite movies - Supergirl from 1984, starring Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway & Peter O'Toole in their greatest roles (squirt?).Get all six episodes of Supergirl now by joining the gang for just $2 at https://www.patreon.com/manbuycowMore episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/…

Frame 178 - Ridiculously Late Football Scores. The snooker is back (temporarily) and all involved are too exhausted to do this. They sleepwalk their way through it all making errors galore but creating a thrilling denouement. I'd say don't waste your time, but why else would you be watching?More episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/richard_he…

Massive swot Howard wrote a story about how great his new middle-school teachers were. Can you guess what score Mister Cotton gave him?More episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/Join the gang:https://www.patreon.com/manbuycowKirjoittanut British Comedy Guide

Frame 177 - Snooker Hole. Whatever Rich thinks, it's Frame 177 and the first of 2024, but who will be the first winner in this final year of human civilization? You're going to have to fight your way through Name That Tune and the football scores to get there. But it's definitely the best frame of this year with surprises in store for everyone.More…

Chapter 156 - Deadline. It’s 17 o'clock or so on 20th February 2024 and after daily podcasting in 2023 this is the first recorded clear of the year and the FF are out in force. Is the end in fight? And why do all the cairns look so unimpressive after all this work? More episodes:https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/stone_clearing_with_richard_herring/…