“If Car Talk was about cancer and hosted by two millennial women.”-Stef’s Oncologist’s Husband “It’s honest, vulnerable, and unexpected.” -Portland Monthly Climb in, honey, we’ve got room! Join Amy and Stef as we laugh—or shake our fists—at the stuff only cancer people truly get. The gals put words to living the cancer experience, all while taking care to be gentle with listeners’ tender hearts. Then, it’s relatable letters from fellow cancer people, followed by cool RATS (Recent Advances in ...
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Ring ring! It’s Stef on line 2. Treatment line, that is. Sorry to leave you on hold, but we’re finally picking this thing back up. Speaking of being backed up, you may wish we’d stayed gone when Stef explains what happens when your digestive system clocks out early. Someone get this massage hating woman a massage already. Lately Amy’s been trying t…
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Walnut Colon: If I Did It
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Ding dong, The Juice is (still) dead! Of cancer! But speaking of juice: how do steroids work? Afterschool specials didn’t prepare us for this. A letter asks how to find a cancer bestie when you’re a queer 40-something cancer person. Have we mentioned lately that we have a Facebook group? If you need a pal, we have some excellent candidates. Is an o…
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Scans abound in Cancerland. What’s up with Stef? (Is a question many ask unrelated to cancer, but this time it’s relevant!) Then, is Diet Coke the new menthol cigarette? Let’s ask Amy’s nurse. That blasted jerk Glioblastoma has a new foe, as does melanoma. How do we know? Three little birds told us! In Letters, a listener asks what’s up with Olivia…
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Extra! Extra! Stef’s coming out of the Emetophobia closet—just as Amy’s out of the bathroom holding the dreaded bowl. In even more disgusting news, we’re telling you about the Portland pathologist whose benign results are anything but. Grab your barf bags for this news report. (Note: the count is now up to 12 patients.) Then, Letters hurls us into …
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Stars: They’re Just Like Us!
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Alert! Alert! This is NOT a test of the emergency cancer broadcast system. Tumour has it that the worst club with the best members has a new recruit from across the pond and we’re having a chin wag about it. The gals share differing opinions on keeping an illness under royal wraps, but we can all agree that nobody’s hiring Kate’s PR team. What do o…
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Cancer for Breakfast Second Opinion: Flora
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It’s time for another Second Opinion! This one features friend of the podcast Flora, a metastatic PNET patient with an unexpected new living situation. First, hear the real deal about PNETs (Pancreatic Neuroendocrine Tumor). She’ll tell us just how this wacky cancer functions, where you’ve heard of it, and why it’s an insidious foe. Then, put the m…
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Here’s the (sacred) dirt! Stef’s got a scan update, and it’s hard to node what to think! Is it cancer—or just a socially starved coworker? The trials and tribulations never end! Amy’s had a (don’t worry) breast biopsy (it’s not what it sounds like) and boy is this room dimly lit. Perhaps she needs an EMBER to light things up. In RATS, cancer cells …
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Close Your Bones In the final chapter of our ongoing financial roller coaster, a hero arrives—in a white coat, not a cape. It’s a bird, it’s a plane…actually, is that Air Force One?! Then, a letter from a rectal cancer survivor whose fertility didn’t make it. How do we honor that grief and explore closure (literally)? Stef outs herself as a full mo…
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The Downward Spiral The cycle continues! Spin™️ Teachers — They’re Just Like Us! and Amy’s wheels are spinning. Stef’s got a twinge of doubt about how her upcoming scan will pan out, but two things are for sure: bills are high and morale is low going into this one. The gals remember a few fallen friends whose losses are looming large. Luckily, a le…
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Canned Goods for Breakfast
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Ryze and shine, it’s ya gals and we’re talking scans, soccer, and sucralose. Maybe it’s a rant, but for real: when food is sneaky about taste or ingredients, it just makes us mad. Stef’s heading off to the Lobular Breast Cancer Symposium as a patient advocate. Will she see Dr. Otto Metzger and offer him a jar of her famous canned pears? Can he call…
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What’s the recommended jail time for therapists who unexpectedly quit on their patients? Asking for Stef, who is in the dumps about being dumped. We hear from listeners about their therapy experiences good and bad (and we mean bad….). Is cancer the answer? Obviously not, but maybe slime is. Speaking of bad experiences, having cancer while fat might…
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The Slightest Scientific Inexactitude
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Are you kitting? Stef is off to the YMCA with her locker full of accoutrements, and Amy’s off the sauce and full of fast ideas. Letters ask why cancer muggles are always lionizing squeaky clean marathon runners, and we ask back: why are centenarians celebrated for their daily dram of whiskey or pack of smokes while carcinomies are assumed to be sin…
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It’s a-me, Mario… wait no. It’s just us, Stef and Amy. While recovering from surgery—Stef’s on a side quest! Her new video game pastime is helping her heal in more ways than one. Another character (Amy) shares listener letters that cover everything from a Molly Shannon cancer flick review to more of that relatable scanxiety. Then, a diagnosing doc’…
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Cancer for Breakfast Second Opinion: Holly Raines
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When fate (or 23 and Me) intervenes at the eleventh hour, do you open your heart to new experiences or continue searching for an AirBnB to pass away in? It’s the premiere of Second Opinion: our conversations with the cancer people, experts and innovators that excite us. Up first: Holly Raines. A talented photographer, a cool mom, and a woman with e…
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Stef’s back from the YSC Summit and Amy has a giggle at the expense of Laughter Yoga. Fun in public really gets Stef’s goat. Then, what’s the deal with longevity? Perhaps the Seventh Day Adventists can spill the beans…or at least share them? Next, it’s our *privilege* to read a letter from a listener that holds a mirror up to cancer spaces and asks…
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Live from the YSC Summit 2023!
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The cat’s out of the bag and the co-host is in another state (we miss you, Amy!!), but we’re making it work with some pals old and new. If you can believe it, we nabbed Thriver Writer, survivor and recent divorcée (keep reading; it’s relevant) Meghan McCallum! Joining us too: producer, co-survivor and husband extraordinaire Nathan McGehee. The conv…
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We’re on assignment, in the field, and coming to you LIVE…actually, RECORDED from the Young Survival Coalition Summit 2023! Charlotte, North Carolina aka The Queen City is swarming with breast cancer royalty! But wait just a ding dang minute: who’s that on the mic? To livestream the episode we’re recording at the summit, go HERE at 11am EST on Sund…
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Breakdown or Breakthrough
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Knock Knock, who’s there? Intrusive thoughts, and they’re living rent free. Amy’s brain won’t let her break up with breast cancer no matter how many private yoga sessions or massages she has in one day. Time to sublet her space in Cancerland! In letters, the gals read a helpful note from a longtime pal of the podcast who wants to make sure we’re gi…
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It’s an update! We‘ve got episodes in the can and an explanation for our absence. Don’t worry, everything’s stable in cancer land! But Stef’s sudden indigestion? There’s an explanation for that, too. Young Survivors, assemble! The Summit is straight ahead, and we’re strapping on our gear. 2023, you’re a formidable opponent already. Meet us at the Y…
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Call the paps! Today we’ve got a smear campaign and it’s all about the CervicalCheck scandal. Our leading lady is whistleblower Vicky Phelan. A criminally incompetent lab in Texas and a negligent cover up that’s costing lives? Salt in the wound, indeed. And speaking of cancer scams (our Favre-ite kind of gossip), is sodium the cure-all or just anot…
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Escape From October II: The Novembering
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It’s baaaack…by popular demand! The very jewel of our franchise that drops but once a year, it’s the creepy, kooky, mysterious and spooky Escape from October! This time, we’ve escaped so thoroughly that it’s practically December! Gather ‘round: it’s time for one whole episode with no evidence of disease. This year we waste no time chilling you to t…
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Fetch your earbuds! It’s time for a new episode of the pupcast—woof, we mean PODcast. But really, our dogs are barkin’ and for once that isn’t a euphemism for med-induced foot pain. No, we’re talking a beautiful Mitzvah, here! Then, Amy gets a wicked case of stage fright as she MyChart dives into some scan results that send her into a panic with na…
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Sometimes it’s cancer, sometimes it’s a bad burrito, y’all! Stef lives to tell the tale of her ascites scare. Turns out having a body is stressful…and expensive! The gals talk medical debt and financial toxicity. When insurance still makes you pay thousands for necessary care, how do you stay afloat? Speaking of grifts…we mean GRAFTS…Amy took a tri…
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Oh…my…god, Becky! Look at her…tumor? It’s the dog days of summer and Amy is fostering an awkward mix up. Never fear, she fetches her cancer card to pay the price. Letters brings us a manic pixie dream mom—make that MEAN mom—who’s tactlessly longing for a listener’s old hair. Then, a self sufficient carcinomie admits she is struggling. Does anyone h…
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Listen, sometimes the summer just gets away from you and people start to be concerned that you’ve either quit your cancer podcast or died. If that’s you, no judgment. Amy and Stef, however, would NEVER abandon their loyal listeners for two months to live their best parasol-twirling, innertubing, redwood hugging, concert-in-the-parking, WNBA gaming …
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Dad’s mad and he’s taking it out on…cancer patients? Well, what else is new? The ASCO conference, that’s what! They didn’t let us report from the red carpet, but you know it was our DESTINY to get the hot goss on the presentations that brought down the house. And that’s a RATS. Then, what’s a gal to do after cancer derails her well thought out plan…
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Inna gadda da vida, baby: Amy’s got a sexy cold and a silly new anti-spiral technique, and Stef’s nether region is superlative. That’s to say the gals are in a good place right now, and we’re calling it “on base.” Can we enjoy the break before having to run for our lives (or the car) again? Maybe every cloud really does have a silver lining. Then, …
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The Ann of Podcasts
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Amy’s got some gall! Gall bladder problems, that is…or does she? When Carmen SanDiego isn’t available, we attempt to solve our own medical mysteries. Where have our once healthy and simple bodies gone? From channeling Maris to vibing with …her? Turns out we’ve made a huge mistake (by not getting into webinars sooner!!). Then, Stef just can’t wait t…
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The Center for Dreams and Nightmares
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Red rover, red rover, send Stef’s therapist on over... to the cancer-adjacent club no one wants to be in. When our care providers’ loved ones get cancer, do they also get the keys to our kingdom…or is it an excuse to bail? Then: we’ve got dream fever, dream weavers. Prodromal, premonitions, or plain old nightmares—is this how our unaddressed ailmen…
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Sometimes you just want to take a break from life at the cancer clinic™️, but everything aligns to kill your vibe! What does Stef have to do to get a little cryoablation around here? Luckily, a nurse saves the day by sharing a picture of their crispy lady. Meanwhile, Amy has a very zen beer with a smooth headed spiritual stranger. F/M/K? FML! How m…
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The Chicken is OK: One Year of Cancer for Breakfast
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It’s our birthday, and we’ll cry (in our nightgowns) if we want to! Happy tears, that is, because today our podcast turns ONE! So grab a slice of cake and cuddle in, dear listeners. We’re taking some time to acknowledge just how far we’ve come, AND offer big gratitude to the Cancer for Breakfast community; y’all put so much gas in our tank. As a pr…
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Johnny California’s Hyperbolic Chamber
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Amy’s not letting medical trauma ruin her relationship with her ear nose and throat doctor. She has a method to banish the anxiety and intrusive thoughts that now appear at “normal” appointments. And on a related note, if a sinus surgery falls in the forest and it’s not cancer, does it even really matter? Move over Ebert, Stef’s been dipping toes i…
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On Becoming Lava Lamps
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Alternative Death: it’s not just an underground music genre! We’re talking death rites, honeys, so cover your mirrors! Whether you’ve prepaid for a satin lined coffin or you’re a green-curious pre-deceased, we’ve got hot tips on the right heat for human composting. Stef also has the score on death doulas, aquamation (not just for cadavers anymore!)…
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Carebears Bare All
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Caregivers: how are you holding up? This one goes out to you. With cancer people, it’s nothing but me, me, me (at least on this podcast!), and we guess it’s about time our spouses, family, and best friends got their due. But first, Amy is shocked to find out how much her post-chemo hair is worth, and Stef’s getting a cancer tattoo for no reason at …
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Merry Christmas and F*** Cancer to all who celebrate! Right off the bat, CW: there have been some huge losses in the MBC community and we address this early in the episode; feel free to skip ahead a bit if you need. Then, Amy’s talkin’ bout Pollyanne from Spokane and her psychic (or just practical?) friend. Speaking of friends, Muggles: they say th…
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Now That’s What I Call Bitchfest Vol. 2
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May the airing of grievances commence, bitches! It’s the second edition of Cancer for Bitchfest and our listeners didn’t hold their tongues. From chemo’s metal mouth to friends who siphon your trauma for likes, this episode is jam-packed with WTF moments. When the hurt goes further than skin deep and you need more than a moisturizer, how do you kee…
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Reoccurring Nightmare
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What’s that weird scratching noise nobody else can hear? It’s FEAR OF RECURRENCE. Because for some people? That scratching actually IS a hook-handed murderer. This week, the gals are getting real about medical PTSD, random pains, and faking your way through celebratory shots with your muggle friends. If you’re officially NED but still on a first na…
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Like sands through the hourglass and neutrophils toward inflammation, the seasons come at you fast, and Amy and Stef are proud to announce…season TWO of Cancer for Breakfast! We’ve got support groups to promote, new partnerships, and as always, plenty of RATS. This week we ask: what’s the dirt on St. Judas—pardon me—we mean St. Jude’s! Well, Jennif…
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Escape from October
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It’s spooky season, so get your goosebumps ready as we drum up a fright. We all need a break from cancer’s ominous ubiquity (especially during Pinktober) so we’re offering you an escape. That’s right—this episode has NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE. Instead, the gals proudly present stories from behind the thinning veil: ghost tales extracted from friends a…
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Who would want to listen to a podcast about stage 4 cancer? …You? Oh, well, great. If you’re newly diagnosed (and even if you’re an old hat), this one’s for you next levelers. Word up, babes: it’s the metastatisode. Stef shares her collection of wisdom for the freshly chronic/metastatic/stage 4/advanced cancer people. It means different things to d…
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Marlboro Pinks: The Thing About Komen
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Pinktober is almost upon us, and…ya know, we don’t care if you relax with a Mike’s Hard Lemonade For The Cure™️, but you should know the truth about Susan G. Komen. First, though, join us for a quick bummer chat. We’ve all lost friends to this dumb disease. It’s what makes cancer so scary, after all—for some of us, it’s deadly. Are the unique conne…
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Birthdays and Battle Ground
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It’s another recording studio rendezvous and the gals are calling this one a win. As we prep for a pinkwashed October, we have some updates on #screamingforscreening; meanwhile the ACS is too busy following Family Feud and the Kardashians’ social media but like, hardly any cancer people? We call bullshit, and we’ve got the receipts…and the scripts.…
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Snoop’s $$$ Unicorn Cake
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Is Stef a bad mom? Spoiler: nope! But she IS sending her (masked) kids to school, and people are sending HER concerned emails. Can the muggles just let us live? NEXT!!! Next, is your Cancerversary a celebration of how far you’ve come, or a dreaded countdown clock? Stef’s just crossing that one year mark this week and the emotions are mixed. We’ll h…
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Freshman Orientation
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Oh hi, are you new here? WTF, huh? Well, you’ve come to the right place. This episode is for everyone, but early stagers to the front! From the dirt on diagnosis to the scoop on scanxiety, this episode covers a lot, and it goes out to you, newbies! Welcome to the wildest party in town. Let’s talk! You’re scared shitless, aren’t ya? Mmhmm, we’ve bee…
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Stef’s been chanting mantras in a trailer park healing shack by the sea, should we call for help? Hold the phone—It’s the cancer card episode! You get a cancer card, and YOU get a cancer card, and YOU get one! Listeners share the ways they’ve cashed in on their experience with the big C to enhance myriad situations; we’ve got cops, coffees, and upg…
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Pixar’s Liquid Biopsy
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Amy’s dosed herself… again! And this time she’s using the ol’ herb to cope with a new cancer scare. Spoiler alert: this sequel has a happy ending. Then, things get loosey goosey as the gals reminisce about times they’ve used (or abused) their Cancer Cards. Have you swiped yours? Spill the deets; we’re on your side. Also! New business, who dis? Dial…
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Lord, beer us strength and grant us patients—we mean patience—because some cancer people are really showing us up with their feats of strength! Even the angels are waving foam fingers in support of our home team’s heavy hitter. Meanwhile, the gals are drinking for a good cause! We’re talkin bout that mighty fine (and hard to find) F* Cancer can. An…
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Hold onto your headscarves, y’all! The guidelines have changed, and the whitecoats think we should stop feeling it on the first. Don’t they know how much #cancerpeople love a hashtag?! Mmhmm—multiple medical orgs have put the kibosh on breast cancer screening until age 45. The gals (Amy and Stef, not a gross euphemism for boobs) are fired up and ta…
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Cancer for Bitchfest
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CANCER FOR BITCHFEST | We’ve been squirreling away your complaints big and small like precious little acorns, and they’ve finally grown into a mighty oak of objections! A pine of protest! A…gripevine? Anyway, we’re airing your grievances, from A (awkward convos with clueless doctors) to, well, X at least. (Exes who slide into your DMs post-diagnosi…
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Pride Parade: The Queerisode
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Did you know that LGBTQ+ people can be cancer people? You did. Oh. Well we sure hope you’re ready for an episode about the queer cancer experience. Stef (she’s here! She’s queer!) leads us and our furry little line of marching RATS on a pride parade rife with…increased morbidity, mortality, and poorer outcomes??? Maybe that explains the low attenda…
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