Parhaat Legal Advice Podcastit (2025)

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Episode 379 - Free Baby Advice 43:59

5d ago43:59

43:59

Babies are strange, fleshy animals that women excrete every month at the full moon. We know this, and yet most of us know very little about them. Are they friend or foe? Do their mournful cries awaken ancient spirits from beyond the stars, or are they simply a form of ritual intimidation? What of poop? Well, my friends, the answers to these, and ma…

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Episode 378 - Your Job Will No Longer Suck 46:01

11d ago46:01

46:01

GOOD NEWS! Whatever your job is, we're about to improve it. Unless you're a coal miner or factory worker, in which case you will notice no improvements at all. Which would be surprising, honestly. How hard would it be to improve? I mean, there's kind of nowhere to go but up, right?Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 377 - This Is How They Made the Original Super Mario Bros. Movie 41:18

19d ago41:18

41:18

In this week's episode, we play a rousing game of Produce, Marry, Kill. Attentive listeners will note that this is actually the THIRD time we've created a game like this (either intentionally or accidentally). The first two were Fart, Butt, Poop and Holmes, Nemo, Khan. Yes, those are both real. You can check out episodes 38 and 76 if you don't beli…

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Episode 376 - There's Apparently a Downside to Hubris 43:18

26d ago43:18

43:18

If you believe in yourself, you can do anything. This is an idea taught to all children at a young age, and also the dictionary definition of hubris. What does that say about us? I don't know about you, but I know exactly what it says because I am not ignorant of anything. Also, I lied, I DO know about you, and, spoiler alert, it's not great.…

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Episode 375 - For Legal Purposes Let's Call Him Waylond Jennyngs 41:32

1M ago41:32

41:32

This is like Behind the Music, but it's called Tales from the Tour Bus. Behind this particular music, much drug-doing happened. Well, I guess that's true of all music. Behind all of it, much drug-doing happened.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 374 - All of Our Opinions About Sports Are Still Right 45:46

1M ago45:46

45:46

It's time once again to debate the sports topics of the day. Matt doesn't seem to like doing this kind of thing multiple times, since we generally stick to one episode per topic, but what he doesn't realize is that they have to do whatever I want when it's my turn to pick one.So there.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 373 - Radicàl: Un Kino by Hal Needham 52:47

2M ago52:47

52:47

Sorry for the French (and fake French) in the title, but this week's episode is about cinema. Not just a movie, not even just a film, but cinema. The only language fancy enough to handle this is French, so you're just going to have to deal with it. The cinema we're dissecting this time is called, simply, Rad. My review: "It is."…

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Episode 372 - Having Cancer Is Really More of a State of Mind 42:50

2M ago42:50

42:50

No, Ben, I didn't name it something like "Five Easy Steps to Fix Your Hovercraft", or "Uh-Oh, It's Time for Blood Sacrifice!". I gave it a perfectly apt title, AS I ALWAYS DO. You can tell what this episode's about just by reading it, right? I can, so I assume everyone can. I'm not even going to describe it in this space AS I USUALLY DO, because th…

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Episode 371 - The Japanese Continue Making Cartoons 37:23

2M ago37:23

37:23

The Japanese like things to be small and efficient. So why on earth do they love giant robots so much? I can't think of a less efficient method of transportation or defense, in terms of materials, fuel, engineering, manpower, etc. I suppose it IS the most efficient method of delivering drool-inducing coolness, though. That's probably how they look …

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Episode 370 - Still Technically Known as America's Pastime 44:07

2M ago44:07

44:07

We talk all things baseball in this episode, including how many peach baskets are used, where the peach baskets go on the diamond, and whether it's legal to chew a peach basket and spit it at your opponent when he's not looking.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 369 - Bill Nye the Pseudoscience Guy 40:49

2M ago40:49

40:49

Pseudoscience is just like science, but way more fun and without all the rules and stuff. It turns out that those rules have been preventing us from curing cancer and fucking up clouds.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 368 - The 36th Chamber Was the Friends We Made Along the Way 48:26

3M ago48:26

48:26

There are 35 chambers at Shaolin Temple. This is a well-established fact. So what could the 36th chamber be? What a mystery! Well, if you watch the movie, it's really not a mystery, or even about that chamber, or any of the chambers, or any of the events of the plot. It's really about watching dubbed-over kung fu men doing bizarre kung fu stuff unt…

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Episode 367 - The Old West Ain't What It Used to Be 41:33

3M ago41:33

41:33

Do you believe that movies about the old west are all true? Well, if you're a kid reading dime-store novels back in the period where dime stores existed, then yes. Yes, you do. If you're anyone else at all, probably not. But regardless, we're here to dispense the REAL truth, anyway. That's right: We occasionally dispense ideas other than legal advi…

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Episode 366 - Let's See What Silicon Valley Has Been Up To 51:05

3M ago51:05

51:05

Six years ago, we looked at a sampling of the startups that were at the Y-Combinator event, which is, for those of you who aren't douchebag tech-bros, some big event where rich idiots dump their money into a bunch of startups that will likely fail. We made fun of each and every one of these ideas, while knowing nothing about them. Today, we're chec…

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Episode 365 - The Man with Glasses Had a Lot of Other Shit 34:55

3M ago34:55

34:55

This week we talk about a relatively forgotten silent film star. In the history of podcasts, right now we're in the "talkie" era. Podcasts are nothing but talking. Once someone invents the "lookie" podcast, we'll be put right out of business.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 364 - 4 Fast + 7 Furious = Car Movie² 34:41

4M ago34:41

34:41

In this episode, we create a movie that's a parody of the Fast & Furious franchise. None of us know anything at all about this franchise. Now, you might be wondering: How can you successfully parody something if you don't know anything about it?Yeah, so anyway, in this episode, we create a movie that's a parody of the Fast & Furious franchise.…

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Episode 363 - Mr. Her-mi-tee-ow-age 37:51

4M ago37:51

37:51

Right at the start of this episode, Ben tries to bully me into giving away its secrets in the title. He wants me to tell you what it's about! The nerve of that guy. Well, I've showed him: I've obfuscated the real answer within a Kids in the Hall reference! Oh wait, he knows Kids in the Hall references... ah, what the hell, the episode is about rich…

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Episode 362 - Andy the Big Frenchman 39:50

4M ago39:50

39:50

André Giant, André THE Giant, A. the G., Godlike Fartmachine, whatever you know him as, he's a legend, and today we learn all the pertinent and IMpertinent facts about this enormous Frenchman.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 361 - The One and Only Use for Those Tri-fold Display Boards 35:40

4M ago35:40

35:40

The year: 1905. "Annus mirabilis", the "miracle year". Albert Einstein arrives at the Prussian Academy of Sciences, where the most iconoclastic and forward-thinking minds the world had ever seen have gathered to hear discussed ideas that would change the world to a greater extent than even they could possibly imagine. A hush falls over the crowd as…

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Episode 360 - Foosball, More Like Foolsball, Am I Right? 43:21

5M ago43:21

43:21

Foosball was just a trick pulled on us by its inventor. It's actually an anagram for "ONLY FOOLS DO BATTLE". It was staring us in the face this whole time, but we were too blind to see it. To know what exactly this trick was all about, listen to today's episode.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 359 - Fight the Really Weird Team Across the Field 40:52

5M ago40:52

40:52

The late 19th and early 20th centuries were a time when college football worked very differently. A time when the teams might not even be lining up to play a game of football, as it turns out. It might be a different sport entirely. It was a time when football might not have been football.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 358 - Run Cannonball, Run! 41:52

5M ago41:52

41:52

The Cannonball Run is not just a movie. Well, I guess maybe you didn't even know that it was a movie. So FYI, The Cannonball Run is a movie. Okay, now, The Cannonball Run is not just a movie. It was an actual thing that actual people actually did, complete with actual crimes. Also, people can now drive as fast as they want. QED.…

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Episode 357 - Your Report Is Due, and You Definitely Did It 37:12

5M ago37:12

37:12

This episode presupposes the existence of a universe in which a student, somewhere, may not have read a book in its entirety before handing in a report on it. I know that's impossible and just plain silly, but just try to suspend your disbelief, if only for today.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 356 - Bring These Toys Back, But Only for the Annoying Kids 34:23

6M ago34:23

34:23

Whom among us could say they've never thought that some little rat kid was excruciatingly annoying? Well, the people who manufactured toys decades ago not only seemed to feel that way about every single kid alive, but they actively took matters into their own hands. They say it's good to be proactive, right?…

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Episode 355 - Anime = Japanese Cartoons, FYI 36:41

6M ago36:41

36:41

This week, we're finally going to address the elephant in the room: Anime. Specifically, the classic 90s series titled, "Help! My Room Became an Elephant and Now Must Do Battle!!!!" I know it doesn't sound like it, but it's mostly about the elephant's wildly disproportional breasts.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 354 - It Turns Out Your Boss Works for the Enemy 42:12

6M ago42:12

42:12

Good news and bad news: The good news is that we have discovered all the secret techniques that the saboteurs are using to grind our operations to a halt. The bad news is that it's everything your boss does, every single day, and there's no possible way to stop them. This information actually seems useless to you, now that I think about it. Well, f…

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Episode 353 - Second Life (Not the Game) 57:11

6M ago57:11

57:11

If you're reading this, you fucked up. No reasonable series of life choices could have possibly led you to listen to this podcast, let alone to be reading one of the episode descriptions. Lucky for you, though, this episode offers you a second chance at life. With the power of hindsight, you'll be able to get in on the ground floor of that pyramid …

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Episode 352 - Chronovoyage? No Thanks 37:56

6M ago37:56

37:56

Chronovoyaging, also known in some circles as "time travel" is not all it's cracked up to be. It's mostly because of the smell. There are other reasons, but honestly, the smell is enough.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 351 - Moths: Annoying Pests or Deadly Tool of Sabotage? 43:44

7M ago43:44

43:44

With the Nazis occupying your hometown, you probably feel powerless in the face of their brutal repression. However, you might be surprised to learn just how much can be accomplished with what you have lying around the house. Seriously, you're going to be extremely surprised.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 350 - Bringing Parliamentary Debate to the World of Sports 35:06

7M ago35:06

35:06

We're doing something brand new this week: One by one, we're going to go through all of the biggest sports topics of the day, and we're going to argue about them. This is a completely unprecedented format, so it will not in any way resemble anything you've ever seen before. It doesn't seem like a very good idea, though, so I doubt it'll catch on el…

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Episode 349 - Stuntmen Can Write and Direct Movies, Right? 38:06

7M ago38:06

38:06

I say let 'em. They've broken enough bones and sustained enough concussions to have more life experience than the rest of us put together. Who better to write a movie than stuntmen? And as long as they're writing it, they might as well direct it. It's basically just yelling "Action!" into a megaphone, right? How hard could it be?…

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Episode 348 - Do Not Listen If You Hate Stupidly-Named Things 41:56

7M ago41:56

41:56

We've done lots of episodes where, either directly or indirectly, we make fun of stupid corporate bullshit. Never before, however, have we focused on what is probably the worst thing that corporate bullshit creates: Stupid, insufferable names for things. Well, we're testing the limits of the word "insufferable" this week, because this episode is al…

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Episode 347 - Just Put a Household Substance on Whatever Hurts 48:49

8M ago48:49

48:49

I wanted to call this episode "Climbing the Mortal Kombat Ladder of Grandmas", but even I thought that was too obscure for an episode title. ME. The guy who brought you such episode titles as "It's All in the Hat", "There's No Saws Like Chainsaws", and "It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's The Prime Minister of Italy!" I have no idea what any of those e…

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Episode 346 - The Subtitle Says It All 40:30

8M ago40:30

40:30

Sure, titles are great. We all love titles, no one's arguing that point. But as wonderful as they obviously all are, I think it's pretty clear that subtitles are actually where it's at. Now, before you have me pulled apart by wild horses, let me explain myself. Titles give you the big picture, but SUBtitles cut right to the fucking bone. "The Fast …

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Episode 345 - FLAPfest Tech and Burrito Summit '24 39:05

8M ago39:05

39:05

It's time once again for the greatest FLAPers and aspiring FLAPees to gather at their yearly... gathering, The FLAPfest Tech and Burrito Summit. This isn't your father's convention, no sir. This convention, unlike all others, features INNOVATION. That's right, the business trump card itself. As long as we are innovating no one can touch us, which m…

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Episode 344 - Reddit, Damn Near Killed It! 40:43

8M ago40:43

40:43

This week we explain Reddit. It mostly involves porn and scams. But, to be fair, that's pretty much the entire internet, anyway.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 343 - The FLAPnight Show, Under New Management 44:47

9M ago44:47

44:47

Most late night talk shows have a new episode every single day. We've gone in a different direction. But we've got a great show for you tonight, folks! That's all that really matters.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 342 - The 68-Inch Biceps Were Worth It 50:09

9M ago50:09

50:09

Little Captain Travis, I've got some advice for you: Inject it into your veins. Inject what, you ask? Anything. Literally, anything, no matter what. Even if you don't know the possible side-effects. Even if you DO know the possible side effects. Just do it, because there's at least a tiny chance that if you do, you'll get fucking jacked.…

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Episode 341 - Adjectives Are Your Friends, Kids! 43:37

9M ago43:37

43:37

Today on the Free Legal Advice Podcast, we're taking a trip through the wonderful world of grammar! We'll be diagramming sentences, discussing proper usage, and taking a look at some HILARIOUS grammar fails! Actually, we'll be doing none of that. Instead, it's Drillbit Liberty IS: The Adjective Noun Verb-er! Only in theaters. And also this podcast …

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Episode 340 - That Really Hot Period in the Middle of the Year 35:03

9M ago35:03

35:03

It's summer time, and you know what that means: An examination of Summer Stuff from the FLAP Boys! Well, actually it's only ever meant that once, and it's right now. We did do an episode about summer during the winter once, but that, too, was a one-time occurrence. You can always count on the FLAP Boys to not be predictable.…

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Episode 339 - Even Small Children Can Ride Bikes, Guys 55:18

9M ago55:18

55:18

Riding a bike is not impressive. Anyone can do it. Oh, but you rode it faster than anyone else? Who cares? Children ride bikes every single day and no one gives them awards, and most of them do it without blood doping. These Tour de France losers are a bunch of wimps, and they dedicated their entire lives to something dumb. Anyway, we spend the ent…

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Episode 338 - Eat Your Plague-Weakened Heart Out, Nostradamus 42:35

10M ago42:35

42:35

IMPORTANT NOTE: We do make one prediction that seems a little, let's say, "out of sync" with the actual march of current events. This episode was recorded on July 20th, so something may have happened since then that might make something we mention sound weird. Anyway, we predict the shit out of things in this week's thrilling episode!…

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Episode 337 - Drillbit Liberty IS: The Noun Verb-er 43:38

10M ago43:38

43:38

*movie trailer voiceover narration* In a noun, where men not only verb, they verb with adjective, nouns are un-verb-able. Only one noun can verb them back to their adjective noun, prepositional phrase. That noun IS: The Noun Verb-er. INTERJECTION! Only in theaters.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 336 - A FLAP in the Hand Is Worth the Other Side of the Fence 36:45

10M ago36:45

36:45

This week we examine the utility of all those old sayings that old people were always saying. They were always saying those sayings, but in this episode we're saying some new sayings, and we think people should start saying those sayings that we were saying, instead of the other sayings.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 335 - In Which Our Meaningless Local History is Lionized 39:31

10M ago39:31

39:31

They can't all be winners, Little Captain Travis. At least, not with my level of talent. But either way, this week we break from our standard weekly offering of pointless silliness to deliver you nearly 40 minutes of even MORE pointless silliness. We've ratcheted up the pointlessness! If this isn't your cup of tea, though, never fear: Next week we'…

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Episode 334 - Tour de FLAP 49:29

11M ago49:29

49:29

Sometimes the episode titles write themselves, folks. In this episode, Matt will attempt to do for the Tour de France what I did for the Olympics. Which one of us did it better? Vote now! I don't have a link, or anything. Just go somewhere and vote on it somehow.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 333 - Mix-Up at the IP Factory 43:17

11M ago43:17

43:17

Through means which will be described herein, we have acquired the rights to several sizzling slabs of intellectual property. See just what we do with such slabs by listening to this 'sode! Is "'sode" a thing? Is that an acceptable abbreviation for "episode"? I feel like it shouldn't be.Kirjoittanut Free Legal Advice

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Episode 332 - Use This to Cram for Your History Midterm 41:35

11M ago41:35

41:35

We have successfully crammed the entirety of human history down into one single podcast episode. It wasn't that hard, actually. It turns out not much has really ever happened. However, should Matt do another one of these episodes, whatever we cover in that episode will be newly uncovered secrets of history. So (possibly) look forward to those secre…

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Episode 331 - Hosted by Bob Hope or Billy Crystal 33:42

11M ago33:42

33:42

We're coming up on a year's worth of episodes, if they came out daily, which they don't, so this sentence is completely pointless, actually. But regardless, after a year's worth of things, most organizations give out awards to themselves, so we figured now is as good of a time as any for us to follow suit. Welcome to the whatever-number-Cory-said-i…

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Episode 330 - You Actually CAN Call It a Comeback This Time 46:33

12M ago46:33

46:33

Celebrities rise and fall, but sometimes they rise again. In this case, at least three of them do. Also in this case, there are some jokes sprinkled throughout that reference an episode that we had already recorded, but has not yet been released. I left them in as a fun treat for the loyal Hoggies out there, because they make no sense now, but will…

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