Parhaat Returned Missionaries Podcastit (2024)

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061: Josie shares her raw feelings about returning home early due to a difficult adjustment and stress hives 49:16

9M ago49:16

49:16

At the time of this recording, Josie had been home from her mission for only eight months. Her feelings are raw and poignant as she shares the ups and downs of her mission. She struggled adjusting to mission life and would frequently call her mom to connect and feel better (which wasn't allowed). She developed chronic stress hives and frequently fe…

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060: Amanda shares her story of hope and healing after having her leg amputated below the knee after getting hit by a car on her mission 39:20

10M ago39:20

39:20

Amanda Evergreen--also known as the One-Footed Phoenix--joined me to share her story of hope and healing after having her leg amputated below the knee after getting hit by a car on her mission. Amanda walks me through her struggles with mental illness on her mission before getting hit by the car, the negative response she received while on her miss…

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059: Cody shares his story of healing from narcissistic abuse while on his mission 1:00:36

10M ago1:00:36

1:00:36

Cody endured bullying in childhood and in his teenage years at school and at church. Despite this, he has a deep love for the gospel and still desired to serve a mission. He served in the south and it was a very difficult mission--not only because he was serving in the Bible belt of America, but because he dealt with narcissistic abuse from many th…

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058: Edina shares her story of returning home early to help her mom with depression 37:50

11M ago37:50

37:50

Edina lives in Hungary and was 27 years old when she joined the church. Eight years later, at the age of 35, she decided to serve a mission. It was not an easy decision for her, but she chose to do it because of her love and trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. After a short time, she returned early because her mother was very depressed. She …

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057: Brady shares his story of returning home early due to anxiety and depression 44:57

11M ago44:57

44:57

Having been born and raised in the church, Brady was excited to serve a mission. He had a bit of anxiety in the beginning as he adjusted to Brazilian culture and the language. After he became a district leader, his anxiety increased quite a bit and depression came along for the ride. It was so confusing and frustrating to sort out what was happenin…

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056: Wallis shares her story of returning home early to her dad declining from ALS after suffering from depression and self-harming on her mission 48:13

12M ago48:13

48:13

Wallis served for four months in Calgary before coming home due to depression and self-harming. She had an amazing support group--including her companions, mission president, and parents (so if you fit any of these categories and want to know how to help your missionary, this is a GREAT episode for you!), but also came home to a heartbreaking situa…

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055: Haley shares her story of choosing to return home after four weeks due to physical illness 36:59

1y ago36:59

36:59

Haley served for a total of four weeks--three in the MTC and one in the field--before choosing to return home early due to physical illness. While she had support at home, Haley still struggled with feelings of shame and loss, as well as anger towards God. In this episode she tells me her story of repairing her relationship with God, owning her dec…

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054: Psychologist and Life Coach, Cortland Watson, discusses the psychological and emotional aspects involved in returning home early from a mission 57:00

1y ago57:00

57:00

Psychologist and Life Coach, Cortland Watson, joined me on the podcast to discuss many of the psychological and emotional aspects involved in returning home early from a mission. Using personal stories and insights from his life, his career, and his education, Cortland guides the listener through learning more about emotions, identity, expectations…

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053: Meg shares her story of deep depression due to hiding her sexuality and experiencing chronic pain 38:23

1y ago38:23

38:23

Meg returned home early after three months of service in Fresno, California. She spiraled into a deep depression due to hiding her sexuality and experiencing chronic pain. Her mission president and his wife did the best with the information that they had but left her with trauma because they didn’t understand how to address mental health. In this e…

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052: Nicholas shares his story of returning home early due to trauma caused by abuse from a member 42:40

2y ago42:40

42:40

Growing up in the church, Nicholas never knew if the gospel was for him and he struggled to go to church because of his anxiety and lack of desire. After receiving his patriarchal blessing, and being amazed by the things stated in his blessing, he developed a testimony of the church and decided for himself to serve a mission. He served in Denver, C…

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050: A chat with author Destiny Yarbro who returned home early twice for physical and mental health reasons, and now helps early-returned missionaries all over the world 44:45

2+ y ago44:45

44:45

Destiny Yarbro returned home early twice. The first time she returned home early from the MTC for physical health reasons. The second time, she went to the mission field and then returned early for mental health reasons. She not only felt like she had failed the Lord upon this second return, but she truly felt like she had committed a transgression…

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049: Addie shares the many emotional, mental, and physical health trials she experienced on her mission before ultimately being sent home due to COVID-19 44:07

2+ y ago44:07

44:07

Addie had always desired to serve a mission and when her call came, she was excited to go! However, a few months into her mission, she was emotionally abused by her companion and housemates. It was a very isolating experience for her. She also began having some physical health problems due to allergies. And, to top it off, she suffered a lot from O…

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048: Jackson shares his story of returning from his mission early twice for physical health reasons 39:36

2+ y ago39:36

39:36

In this episode, Jackson shares his story of returning home early twice. The first time, he served for eight months before physical health problems required that he come home. The second time, he served for seven months (in the same mission) before a different set of physical health struggles struck him and he again needed to return home early. Thr…

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047: Jacob shares his story of returning home early for physical health reasons, dealing with judgement, and ceasing his habit of seeking validation from others. 36:54

2+ y ago36:54

36:54

Jacob started his mission journey long before he even got his mission call. Overweight and insecure, Jacob decided to make some changes. He got into body-building and realized it was a way from him to grow and push himself. He decided to apply this new mentality to all areas of his life, including spirituality, and eventually decided to serve a mis…

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046: Violet tells her story of returning home early due to depression and anxiety and then serving a service mission in the San Jose area 45:24

2+ y ago45:24

45:24

Violet was born deaf and wears two cochlear implants. She served a mission to Washington D.C. speaking ASL. She came home early due to depression and anxiety after much consideration, prayer, and counseling with her mission president. She later served a service mission in her hometown area of San Jose. She shares with me her strong testimony and fa…

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045: Summer shares her story of returning home early from the MTC due to depression and anxiety 38:04

2+ y ago38:04

38:04

After a period of inactivity, Summer returned to church and began receiving promptings and dreams about serving a mission. She followed these promptings, but upon entering the MTC she developed terrible anxiety, including panic attacks, and depression. Her mental health became so bad that her physical health began to decline as well. She returned h…

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044: Jake shares his story of growing up with cerebral palsy, becoming inactive, discovering himself as an LGBTQ+ individual, returning to church, serving a mission, and returning home early due to belated ... 56:01

2+ y ago56:01

56:01

Jake was born with cerebral palsy and as a result was often excluded from activities as a youth in the church. As a result of this exclusion, and a falling out with a friend, Jake became inactive during his later teen and young adult years. He is part of the LGBTQ+ community and identifies most closely as queer. While he was away from the Church, J…

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043: Kate returns home early due to emotional and physical abuse from companions 53:39

3y ago53:39

53:39

Throughout her childhood, Kate was emotionally and physically abused by her father, and then later by her stepmother. While on her mission, Kate experienced anxiety and undiagnosed ADHD. These mental health struggles were not understood by her companions and they became exasperated with her and abused her emotionally and even physically as well. Th…

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042: Genisse's story of coming home early due to depression and anxiety and then returning to her mission 27:44

3y ago27:44

27:44

Genisse is the first missionary I have spoken with who came home early due to mental health reasons and then returned to her mission. In this episode, she shares with me her journey of choosing to come home and then choosing to return which includes the ups and downs of therapy, moving forward with life during the 16 months she was home, keeping th…

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041: Pascal Friedmann shares his story of returning home early due to severe thyroid dysfunction 30:59

3y ago30:59

30:59

In this episode, Pascal tells me his story about returning home early due to a prolonged illness that started about a month after he arrived in the field. It was misdiagnosed as depression and homesickness, but turned out to be severe thyroid dysfunction. Pascal shares how he was ostracized by many in his ward back home in Germany and how that led …

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040: What is the "rest" of a mission like? 1:28:28

3y ago1:28:28

1:28:28

There are so many questions that run through the mind of an early-returned missionary, not least of which is questions along the line of "What is the rest of a mission like? Specifically, what is the rest of a proselyting mission like?" To answer this question, and several others, I have invited five missionaries who completed the expected amount o…

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039: JT shares his experience of returning home early due to depression 41:35

3y ago41:35

41:35

JT had never experienced depression before his mission. He recalls being bullied in the MTC by his companions for six weeks before finding relief in the field before the depression got worse. He stopped feeling his emotions, had bad insomnia, and eventually suicidal thinking. Upon returning home, he felt like such a failure. He was very confused ab…

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038: Richard Ostler, former YSA Bishop, shares what he has learned about helping those who feel marginalized in the Church 42:09

3y ago42:09

42:09

In this podcast episode, Richard Ostler (host of the podcast Listen, Learn, and Love) shares what he has learned about helping those who feel marginalized in the Church, including early-returned missionaries. Richard has served in multiple leadership positions, including as a YSA bishop for three years. Richard is also the parent of an early-return…

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037: Synne returns home early due to perfectionism and self-harming and becomes the first service missionary in Norway and Sweden 53:39

3y ago53:39

53:39

In this episode, Synne shares her story of returning home early from her mission in France due to perfectionism, anxiety, depression, and self-harming. She felt like she had failed Heavenly Father and was devastated. However, because of her desire to continue serving, Synne immediately requested to become a service missionary upon returning home, e…

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036: Sarah shares her story of experiencing covert abuse from a companion and her dad while also returning home early for physical health reasons 47:56

3y ago47:56

47:56

Sarah was sent home during the COVID-19 pandemic because of physical health problems. She begged her mission president to stay, but he was concerned she wouldn't get the help she needed if an emergency happened and so after 15 months in the field, she went home. At the time, she was also experiencing covert abuse from her companion which brought up…

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035: Josie shares her story of coming home early after 15 months due to stress, anxiety, and panic attacks, and going through a faith crisis 40:51

3y ago40:51

40:51

In this episode, Josie shares her story of coming home early after 15 months due to stress, anxiety, and panic attacks that increased in severity. Gospel activities triggered large amounts of anxiety for her, leaving her scared and confused, and she began to abandon the truths she had always held dear. The gospel began to fuel her anxiety rather th…

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034: Tyler talks about his journey of intense anxiety, leaving the church, and returning to full activity 43:40

3y ago43:40

43:40

Tyler came home early due to intense anxiety and panic attacks after serving in the Spokane Washington Mission for 3 months. He actually loved being out on his mission, but his mind would not let him be stable. The experience of returning home early challenged his relationship with God and he left the church for a short time. He tells me that it wa…

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033: Ruby shares her story of extreme depression, self-harm, and suicidal thinking 53:58

3y ago53:58

53:58

Ruby began struggling right from the get-go on her mission during at-at home MTC (due to COVID-19 restrictions). Her struggle soon turned into extreme depression and shortly after arriving in the field, she began to self-harm . She recalls feeling temporary relief upon cutting herself, but then felt guilt and like she wasn't worthy and had failed G…

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032: Jacob shares his story of returning home early due to belated confession 33:49

3y ago33:49

33:49

Jacob had always wanted to serve a mission, but due to some mistakes made before he left, he was unworthy to go. He lied to himself constantly to convince himself that he was okay, which led to him serving for 9 months before the guilt became too much and he had a powerful experience that helped him to seek repentance. Upon returning home, he inten…

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031: Elizabeth discusses returning home early due to OCD Scrupulosity and creating BeyondMyBadge.org 40:12

4y ago40:12

40:12

In this episode, Elizabeth shares her struggle with OCD scrupulosity, which she describes best as "perfectionism." On her mission, Elizabeth was very focused on always doing things right (which caused her to constantly feel that she was doing things wrong.) This confusion led to her being very rigid and upset with her companions. She also felt unwo…

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030: Drew Young shares his experience of coming home early from the MTC due to mental health struggles and talks about how he has since found purpose in his life's mission 51:39

4y ago51:39

51:39

Drew Young, author of the new book The Meaning of Your Mission: Lessons and Principles to Know You Are Enough, shares with me his experience of returning home early from the MTC due to mental health struggles. He walks me through his journey of navigating years of lonely nights and suicidal thoughts to ultimately writing his book and sharing his st…

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029: Lizzy tells her story of returning home early due to a dizziness that never stopped 37:19

4y ago37:19

37:19

In this episode, Lizzy shares her story of returning home early due to a dizziness that never stopped. Many people around her thought that anxiety was the cause of the dizziness and she struggled to find someone who would listen to her and give her the help she needed. After two and a half years, she finally received a diagnosis and was able to get…

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028: Rian shares her story of returning home early due to toxic perfectionism 38:05

4y ago38:05

38:05

In this episode, Rian shares with me her story of returning home early due to toxic perfectionism, something that she didn't realize she struggled with until she was on her mission and her usual coping mechanisms were gone. She suffered from physical and mental symptoms of the perfectionism such as stomach aches, anxiety, and panic attacks. She oft…

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027: McKenzie discusses returning home early due to anxiety and homesickness 41:45

4y ago41:45

41:45

McKenzie has struggled with anxiety for most of her life, but when the prompting came to serve a mission, she faithfully accepted the call to serve. While she loved several parts of missionary work, she continued to struggle with anxiety and often felt overwhelmed and tired. She struggled to sleep for five months and her mental and physical health …

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026: Bob and Elaine discuss, as parents, the effects of our culture on missionaries who return home early 41:40

4y ago41:40

41:40

In this episode, Bob and Elaine share their journey of navigating the culture of our Church that still surrounds missionaries who come home early as they experienced it with their son, who needed to return home early from the MTC. Their son was told terrible things about what would happen to him if he returned home early and Bob and Elaine had thei…

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025: What can I expect if I stay home? 50:36

4y ago50:36

50:36

In this episode, five missionaries who came home early for various reasons, and chose to stay home, answer questions previously submitted via a questionnaire distributed on social media. They discuss their experiences with making the decision to stay home, moving forward with life, dealing with the guilt of not returning, whether or not they feel l…

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024: What can I expect if I return to the field? 46:00

4y ago46:00

46:00

In this episode, five missionaries who came home early for various reasons, and chose to return to the field either as proselyting missionaries or as service missionaries, answer questions previously submitted via a questionnaire distributed on social media. They discuss their experiences with making the decision to return to the field, choosing be…

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023: Layton returns home early due to a suicide threat after seeing a robber in his home 36:35

4y ago36:35

36:35

In this episode, Layton shares his story of the trauma he experienced on his mission from seeing a robber in his home and the suicide threat that resulted from his inability to cope with that trauma. Layton also discusses the homesickness he was already feeling and how the experience with the robber compounded that anxiety. However, despite these h…

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022: Sophie Returns Home Early Due to COVID-19 25:01

4y ago25:01

25:01

Sophie served in the Washington D.C. North mission for 17 months before needing to return home early to Vienna, Austria due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Even though she nearly completed her intended amount of time on a mission, Sophie is still facing many of the same challenges as other missionaries who have needed to return home early due to the pand…

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021: Courtney's early return due to physical health, the mental toll it took on her, and her decision to return to the field 50:38

4y ago50:38

50:38

While in the field, Courtney came down with dengue fever. She was given a shot for the fever, but likely got a pathogenic bacteria from the shot that caused her to need to go home after six months in the field. She is still figuring out her physical health problems to this day. Courtney speaks openly and candidly about her experiences, including th…

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020: Early-Returned Missionaries and COVID-19 18:02

4y ago18:02

18:02

In light of the recent announcement from the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles regarding COVID-19 and missionary service, many missionaries are returning home early. There has been mixed reactions on social media to this announcement and impending homecomings, mostly supportive, but some apprehensive about how those who have not pr…

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019: Daniel Shares His Story of Returning Home Early Due to a Broken Ankle and then Returning to the Field 35:46

4y ago35:46

35:46

While on his mission in Columbia, Daniel broke his ankle. He was able to serve for about six months before he realized he needed to go home and get it properly taken care of. He thought he'd only be home for a few weeks, but it ended up being 13 months as the surgery required for his ankle ended up being more complicated than anyone expected. Danie…

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018: Abi Shares Her Experience of Serving a Proselyting Mission and a Service Mission 35:03

4y ago35:03

35:03

After twelve months in Germany, it became clear to Abi that her depression and anxiety had become too much and that she needed to go home. However, she still didn't feel that her mission was done and upon hearing about service missions decided that she wanted to finish her mission by "transferring" to this kind of a mission. In this episode, Abi sh…

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017: Thea Shares What She Learned by Coming Home Early Twice for Worthiness Reasons 54:37

4y ago54:37

54:37

In this episode, Thea shares openly and candidly her two experiences of returning home early for worthiness reasons—the first time for belated confession and the second time for serious disobedience in the field. Thea shares with me what it was like to experience the stigma of returning home early for worthiness reasons, how she suffered from "crip…

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016: Ask a Therapist 43:03

4y ago43:03

43:03

In this episode, Harmony Packer, a therapist at Healthier You in Lindon, Utah who specializes in treating early-returned missionaries, joins me again to answer questions from those who came home from their missions early or from those who care about them. These questions were submitted in advance and were as follows: Was there no one left that coul…

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015: A Young Woman Shares Her Story of Struggling with Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, and a Lack of Parental Support 43:58

4+ y ago43:58

43:58

In this interview, a young woman who has chosen to remain anonymous, tells me about her struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts both while on her mission and after returning home early. She discusses the things that helped her—mainly therapy and a supportive bishop—and what wounded her further. She also discusses the rocky relationship that…

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014: Austin Discusses Returning Home Early from the MTC 44:49

4+ y ago44:49

44:49

In this episode, Austin tells me about his experience of returning home after 10 days from the Provo MTC due to a sudden onset of severe anxiety and panic. He returned home to supportive family, friends, and leaders for the most part, but still struggled for several years to define his mission. Was it a mission? Could he say he had served a mission…

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013: Brian Recounts what He has Learned the Last 20 Years from Coming Home Early due to Homesickness 35:38

4+ y ago35:38

35:38

This episode is especially for anyone who has been carrying the burden of coming home early for more than ten years. It is also especially for anyone who has born the brunt of unkind comments or false notions in our church culture. Brian suffered from homesickness shortly after entering the field. He chose to return home after six months and doing …

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012: Tammy Shares Her Perspective as a Parent and Researcher 43:40

4+ y ago43:40

43:40

In this episode, Tammy shares her perspective of being a mother of a missionary who came home early due to severe depression and anxiety. When her son came home, there were hardly any resources available to parents, and so Tammy dove into whatever research was available and wrote an article for parents titled "Wounded Warriors" which has been accep…

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011: Tyson Discusses Returning Home Early for Worthiness Reasons and then Returning to the Mission Field after Two Years at Home 37:16

4+ y ago37:16

37:16

In this episode, Tyson discusses with me his need to return home early from his Latter-day Saint mission due to belated confession. He was lucky to have a supportive and inspired bishop as well as parents, but despite this, Tyson returned to what had been causing him trouble before even though he had hoped to get his sins resolved and return to his…

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