Open Up

Talking to Strangers (About Music)

I talk to people all the time who are afraid to talk to strangers. You can see it in the set of their shoulders, the way they slump forward. You can see it in the way they avoid your gaze, how they look anywhere but in your eyes. I do what I can. I say something about their shirt or their dress, guess something about how they might be feeling about the weather or how long they've been working their shift, how tired or frustrated they must feel about living life, whether in a big Park Slope Brownstone or in a homeless shelter. People are not so very different. Mostly, people seem closed. Until they feel comfortable. Until you seem to care about them, and how they're feeling. And then...well, then, they begin to blossom. Their posture straightens, a smile replaces the frown, and they suddenly burst with energy and enthusiasm. How do we remind ourselves to help each other open up? How do we learn to feel comfortable with one another, whoever we are? I think we need to start with ourselves. We need to work on feeling good, on smiling at that crazy cat in the mirror and seeing them smile back. We are the first stranger we need to open up to and then, only then, might we dare venture to open to others, to any other, to any stranger. Then and only then will we not feel threatened and afraid. Only then will we feel less vulnerable when we let ourselves be vulnerable.
If you'd like, close your eyes and listen to this tune I played on the piano. Let every muscle in your body relax, starting with your head, then your face and neck, your shoulders and arms and hands and fingers, your middle and legs and toes. Relax like a rag doll and let the music wash over you. Rest on the idea of opening up to yourself. Think about what that means, and what you need to do to be able to stare at yourself straight in the eyes. Give up on achieving every goal, being the Success you believe you SHOULD be. Give up the shoulds and woulds and I-ought-tos, and think of what you want to do that gives you pleasure. What you might really love. Ask yourself why you don't do it, just for fun. Think to yourself how you deserve joy and happiness, and rest on that idea as you listen. Rest on the idea of finding one thing or many that you're passionate about, and how you will allow yourself that thing or things because you deserve passion and pleasure. Smile to yourself. Then, afterward, see how much easier it will be to smile at a stranger.