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This podcast is comprised of three series addressing topics relevant to families dealing with a loved one's addiction: - FAMILIES SPEAK: parents share wisdom, tools & experience using CRAFT (a proven method) with their loved one - Partner CRAFT: co-hosts explore the specificity of using CRAFT with a romantic partner (or ex) - VOICES from the FRONT LINES: Guests share expertise and stories Allies in Recovery provides eLearning modules, expert hand-tailored guidance, CRAFT support groups, info ...
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Mike and Nat are two middle-aged suburban dads wrestling with addiction and recovery while trying to juggle home life, work, and staying sober. Listen as they discuss current topics in the recovery community including 12 Step, alternative addiction recovery and the newest medical research . Listen to the guys talk about their daily struggle to maintain their recovery and anonymity in the world of soccer moms and PTA meetings. If the neighbors only knew...
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Have you ever looked in the mirror and been disappointed with who’s looking back, or even worse, horrified by who you’ve become? After awakening in his bathtub, practically dead and not sure how to face another day, Jesse decided he didn’t want to die - he wanted to live differently. From that moment on, he decided to figure out how to do just that, live differently - and to become the person who utilizes his potential instead of continuously squandering it. In 2017, after two decades of bat ...
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When your Loved One has substance use and/or mental illness, communication can get sticky and prickly pretty quickly. Yet there's no world where we'll never need to have difficult conversations with our family members. CRAFT provides an incredibly effective toolbox for developing more easeful relationships. In this episode, our co-hosts—family memb…
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Ep #315: My 7 Powerful Principles, the same ones from my College Success Habits book, are the foundation for my lifestyle, let alone my sobriety and recovery. Today, we bring them back and give them a two-episode spotlight. Where are you developing your growth mindset in your life? Believing you are courageous starts with the courage to feel emotio…
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Episode 143: Recovery in the News In this episode of Recovery in the Middle Ages, we run down the latest news from the world of recovery, giving our take on the headlines that matter to those on the sober path. We discuss the tragic passing of Melissa Trachtenberg, which may have been related to alcoholic liver disease. Then, we discuss The New Yor…
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What goes around, comes around. Kenny, Bridget, and Elizabeth came to Allies in Recovery as family members looking for help with shifting the dynamic with an addicted Loved One. At the time, rather than recording episodes for the world, they were listening and learning, like you. Listen to them speak about their all-time favorite Coming Up for Air …
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Kayla checks in with Annie Highwater, a regular contributor to our blog, about ways that CRAFT and Allies in Recovery's member site have changed her as a person. Is your Loved One struggling with addiction? Allies in Recovery’s online program can help. You’ll learn a powerful, evidence-based approach to improve your wellbeing and that of other fami…
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Ep #314: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. If you are a mentor, life or addiction recovery coach, and/or sponsor - this episode is the message you have been waiting for. You know how you talk to people and you feel like your message isn't getting across? The main problem is that we can not force someone to act. We can not make that horse drink. We know…
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Money is already such a huge issue for almost everyone, before you even add Substance Use Disorder (SUD) into the mix! Things get exponentially more complex when it's your loved one with addiction issues asking for money. Whether it's "just 20 dollars" or rent for an apartment, families often experience the feeling of being hostage to their fear fo…
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Ep #313: Self-awareness is a beautiful thing, but you want to monitor how you experience it: first-person through your own eyes, second-person through another person's eyes, or third-person through that observer's eyes. When we go to make a change, we experience that part of ourselves through one of these points of view. That starting, stopping, an…
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Episode 142: RMA, RFK and the San Patrignano Experiment In this episode of Recovery in the Middle Ages, we take a look at Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s plan to address addiction in America, which leans heavily on his personal recovery experience and the model of Italy’s San Patrignano rehab center. Kennedy’s proposal centers around creating “wellness far…
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In part 2 of 2, Isabel, Kayla, and their co-hosts -- family members with direct experience -- discuss their favorite tools and tips they've picked up from working with the CRAFT method through Allies in Recovery. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies …
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Isabel, Kayla, and co-hosts with direct experience discuss their favorite tools and tips they've picked up from working with the CRAFT method through Allies in Recovery. Part 1 of 2. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platfor…
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Ep #312: Procrastination will eat alive from the insides. What is it that you are really procrastinating from doing? You might think it is starting the thing, doing the thing, changing the thing, or stopping the thing - but upon further review, there is a lot more at play when we postpone the starting, doing, changing, or stopping the thing that we…
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If you have an addicted loved one, chances are you're all too familiar with "hyper-arousal" or "survival mode." As Emily explains with brio, this state is meant to serve us when there's danger, then pass. What does it look like when we're chronically in this mode? Physical and mental/emotional signs are there and can serve as signposts, Emily expla…
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Sometimes, our Loved Ones' situations call for incredibly difficult decisions. Co-host Hazel shares a recent high-stakes moment that felt like a necessary betrayal. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing traini…
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Ep #311: This week, I celebrate the conclusion of my 8th year of sobriety and begin to trek into year 9! There are so many topics I want to bring to you over this first stretch of the year, and today's is dear to my heart. When are you now willing to risk what is comfortable and known for the uncomfortable and unknown? The comfort zone that was les…
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Episode 141: The Return of RMA-Recovery in the News Edition It’s been a minute, we know — but Mike and Nat are BACK, rested, refreshed and ready to serve up a new episode packed with recovery bon mots, musings, and thought-provoking insights. This week we’re diving into the latest conversations around sobriety, cultural norms, and health, giving ou…
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When there's substance use disorder and mental health diagnoses, what do you do? Can you use CRAFT? Yes, most of the time you can, unless the mental health issues make you or them unsafe. Co-host Bridget offers a central point: with this difficult combo, think of what is, not "what if."
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How do you deal with having hard feelings around your loved one's substance use? Kayla, Carolyn, Bridget, Elizabeth, and Kenny discuss their experiences and feelings of anxiety, frustration, and fear and their tools for handling the situation. The Allies in Recovery program (alliesinrecovery.net) and the CRAFT Method for families seeking to help a …
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It's easy to feel like you have to be perfect with CRAFT, perfect with your loved one to be successful. But perfectionism gets in the way of connection. It can blind us, keep us from seeing our loved one fully. Acknowledging things not going the way you wanted, taking responsibility for behavior that doesn’t work--that’s part of the connection, and…
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If we're doing too much for our loved ones with substance use disorder, we'll never truly know how capable they are. We need to step back to see their capability and witness their choices, realizing that they have their own motivations and values. CRAFT is about creating a strong connection without necessarily doing things for them. This is a proce…
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Ep #310: Happy New Year. I'm not going to roll out the same "New Year, New You," trope I've done in the past and you've heard before. If you are on Day 1 or some days into your journey, you might be wondering how on earth you will figure out how to create your new life with so many or so few options (all subjective to your mindset and perspective).…
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Kayla and Isabel discuss the complications of rewarding your loved one with addiction, in the context of a partner relationship. How does it affect time with children? How about intimacy? Partner CRAFT is the podcast series by AlliesInRecovery.net that focuses on applying the CRAFT method with a romantic partner (or ex-partner) who struggles with a…
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Ep #309: We have all lost something. Something that mattered so much to us we thought we could never go on, never be the same, never heal. The agony of defeat when we tried the first time to quit. The disappointment we feel in ourselves when we let people down - ourselves, most importantly. Inside all of us are many, many voices that talk to us, te…
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Kayla and Isabel discuss the challenges of early recovery. What are realistic expectations to have of our loved ones in this period? What can we do as a family member to support them and, importantly, to keep ourselves in check? It's helpful to know what "early recovery" means -- there's a spectrum that goes from complete abstinence to harm reducti…
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Oy, the holidays. It can be a time full of triggers, for our loved one with substance use disorder, but also for the family member. It's also a time where we can get disconcerting questions about our how our loved ones have been doing. Three family members join Kayla to share wisdom and experiences around the holidays, from answering questions abou…
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Ep #308: It's the end of the year, and I'm in the mood to talk recovery. Whether you are seeking to make a massive change, like sobriety, or take another step in your recovery, like physical activity, honest communication, or putting your mind to advancing your career, there are steps you can take and a mindset to cultivate. Anyone who has motivate…
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Recovery is progress, not perfection, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. As the family of a loved one with substance use disorder (SUD), it can be tempting to impose our own expectations onto our loved one. But as we ease up on expectations, we're taking pressure off our loved one, allowing them space to try things and see how it goes. Some…
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It’s incredibly hard to have a loved one who’s experiencing homelessness. Our hosts—Hazel, Kevin, and Greer—join Kayla Solomon to discuss their experiences with their loved ones and offer hard-won advice. They say it’s important to try to create an environment of openness, connection, and availability—up to a point. But it’s also important to have …
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Ep #307: You know how you look around and get a bit upset at yourself for the life you have created, the situation you are in, or how you behave? The problem you circle back to again and again and again and again is that you are not happy about certain aspects of your life, and you think that if you beat yourself up enough times, you will FINALLY g…
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Send us a text Guest speaker Jeff Stultz, Founder and National Director at Broken Chains JC National Ambassador at Recovery Alive Inc Co-founder at Christian Recovery Network. Founder/National Director at Broken Chains JC Founder at Jeff Stultz, Motorcycle Missionary Jeff talks about what you are planting and what you are harvesting. Support the sh…
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Ep #306: Life is full of choices. You choose what to do. You choose how to react. You choose how to respond. You choose what to do with your time. Sobriety does not promise anything other than an opportunity to better your life without the weight of a hangover, daily addictive behaviors, and the constant rationalizing of your actions as being okay …
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What you don’t do – like get caught up in being a superhero, or telling our loved ones what they “should do” – can help your relationships emerge as partnerships. If we develop good relationships, we have power. If we have the capacity to change, we have power. If we have awareness, we can make choices, and that gives us power, too. By accepting th…
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Self-care is a pillar of CRAFT; helping yourself is essential to helping your loved one. A lot of CRAFT focuses on a parent trying to help an adult child, so how do we shift things in a partner relationship so we're able to play the starring role in our own lives? Is there room to focus on ourselves when our loved one is not showing up in the relat…
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Ep #305: In this episode, I converse with a dear friend, and we discuss how his rock bottom propelled him through the most challenging parts of his life, how AA and Buddism guided his path, and how he grounds himself as he accepts the consequences of his actions and finds solace in one ending, creating a new beginning. Just hit play, and let's dive…
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When your partner suffers from Substance Use Disorder, what are realistic expectations in your relationship? Are your expectations setting you up for frustration? Which of your needs can you meet for yourself? Kayla Solomon and Isabel Cooney explore the often sticky nature of partnership when SUD is involved. Partner CRAFT is the podcast series by …
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When your partner is using substances year after year and you don't see change, you may end up wondering, "Why am I staying?" A listener wrote in that she wondered about staying with her husband, who struggles with alcohol but hasn't responded to her efforts to practice CRAFT thus far. Would leaving him constitute "natural consequences?" Isabel Coo…
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Ep #304: Wasted time or a wasted life? We can often start sobriety with much animosity toward the world and what it did to us that led us down this path of active addiction. As personal responsibility begins to take hold of you, you'll find that you start to accept responsibility for your actions. As that unfolds, you may then get angry with yourse…
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The original CRAFT is outcome-driven and behavioral-based, aimed at getting people into treatment. Allies has made it more connection- and relationship-oriented, focused on listening and communication. The same skill set Allies focuses on -- validating, not arguing, not giving advice or challenging someone's reality or perception -- often works wit…
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