Recorded on 4/25/23. “Yo, people really listen to this podcast.” - Dulcé Sloan “This is the first time anybody’s been accused of writing one of the comments, and it’s me, and it’s for someone backing up what I’m saying.” - Josh Johnson “Now I’m looking at some of these YouTube comments, and I think that there needs to be a second podcast where we j…

On this special compilation episode of Hold Up, we’re featuring Josh and Dulcé’s most contentious debates from this season. Tune in for the best moments from “Chicken Soup vs. Tomato Soup,” “Summer vs. Winter,” and a clip from a special Beyond the Scenes episode featuring our very own Josh and Dulcé! Hold Up will be back next week with an all-new e…

"Waffle House knows their lane. They have figured out what they are doing. Diners have chapter books for menus. You mean to tell me that you have a turkey dinner, a lobster bisque, but also disco fries? What is happening here?” - Dulcé Sloan “So when I see that chapter book laid out in front of me, I'm like, "Wow, I really have options in life. Am …

“Sarcasm cannot be conveyed over a text. The number of times I've gotten into it with somebody, because I was being sarcastic and they thought they were being attacked.” - Dulcé Sloan “Emojis are what have brought context back to text. If you can text me something and then end it with a little yellow dude with his eyes rolling back of his head, I'm…

“We all need to drink more water, but sometimes you just want to have a little adventure, so sometimes you infuse your water and sometimes you add bubbles. ” - Dulcé Sloan “You don't need this sparkling, bubbly water. You don't need to be burping bougie.” - Josh Johnson It’s still vs. sparkling water this week on Hold Up with Daily Show corresponde…

“Open your ears and listen to me. Get that oatmeal in, okay? Get your calcium. Okay? Get your iron in.” - Josh Johnson “Grits can be breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch. Grits can be any meal. You can have your breakfast grits. We've all had fish and grits.” - Dulcé Sloan It’s oatmeal vs. grits this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé …

“I think for me, the boneless wing, I've never had it where it was underdone. I like that they're just little chicken nuggets. I think they're cute.” - Dulcé Sloan “Real men keep that bone in. ” - Josh Johnson It’s boneless vs. bone-in chicken wings this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson. See omnystud…

“When there’s lightning, I can swim in my pool. When it's a rainy day, I can swim in my pool. When it's just nasty outside, I can swim in my pool. My pool indoors is consistent.”- Josh Johnson “For me, the outdoor pool has represented a lifestyle. Because a pool day is a sunny day. We are drinking a nice beverage, we’re out here just judging others…

“Because Gatorade has been tried and true and tested on real professional college athletes, you know that it has all of the things.” - Dulcé Sloan “Let me just let you know that Powerade got me where I am today, okay. It helped me from falling out on that field. ” - Josh Johnson It’s Gatorade vs. Powerade, the ultimate sports drink duel, this week …

“As someone who is a nacho connoisseur, the thing I love about nachos is the variety. The topping combinations are endless. ” - Dulcé Sloan “Just because chili and cheese are in the name, it doesn't mean that's where you have to stop. Because don't forget what chili cheese fries lack in toppings, it makes up for in the seasoning. ” - Josh Johnson I…

"Carpet is nice. It's soft. And if you get the chance, you can shuffle your feet on it and shock your brother or your mom, or every once in a while you get static electricity and shock your cat. ” - Dulcé Sloan “Cheap motels, they've done carpet dirty, and they've become a representative, an unwanted representative of the dirty carpet brand. ” - Jo…

“So this is the thing about the chicken sandwich. You can have it fried, you can have it grilled, you can have a chicken salad sandwich on a croissant. That's always nice.” - Dulcé Sloan “It is possible with burgers to get something rare, medium, medium-well, well-done. Temperature alone adds four times to whatever type of burger you want to have.”…

“There are so many types of love. So why do we only want to talk about the type of love where you have to put your mouth on somebody? There's other loves where you don't put your mouth on anybody.”- Dulcé Sloan “It's the one time a year, outside of an anniversary, where you can really flex on the person that you love. It's an opportunity to just be…

“My opinion is that happy hour makes life easier and better through discounts, while brunch makes it harder and more bougie for no reason with orange juice and vodka.” - Josh Johnson “The thing about brunch though is one, your mimosas are bottomless. Also, we have changed the lifestyle when it comes to brunch. Now, it's not just orange juice. We do…

“If I'm on the internet, I'm not going to see these little impulse buys. I'm not going to see this pack of gum at the register. There's no pack of gum at the register in an online store.” - Dulcé Sloan “An online store will tell you up top - the thing you want, we ain't got any. The one you like, it's not here. We'll send you an email when it gets …

“With a loud neighbor, their lifestyle is invading my home. I've lived in places where it felt like the roof was gonna cave in because I heard every footstep. “ - Dulcé Sloan “I will say, a nosy neighbor might just save your life, you know? A loud neighbor has never solved a murder. They've never helped in an investigation.” - Josh Johnson We’re re…

“You can actually have an experience with a person in a day date, that I think in dinner dates you’re limited.” - Josh Johnson “What I’m saying is, you better take a bitch to dinner first. You better spend them coins.” - Dulcé Sloan It’s day dates vs. dinner dates this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnso…

“There's way more work that goes into the onion ring, but anything that's classy and of value is going to require more work.” - Dulcé Sloan “You're telling me that you would rather, in your life, hot battered grease over onions than a delicious, freshly cut crinkled or curly potato. Because you're giving up all types of fries.” - Josh Johnson It’s …

“What I'm saying is this, lasagna is also versatile, because you can make it vegetarian, you can make it vegan, you can put all the meats in it, you can put any types of meat in it.” - Dulcé Sloan “I'm spaghetti all day. All right. I'm spaghetti all the way around until they turn to SpaghettiOs. All right.” - Josh Johnson We’re bringing back the ul…

“Because I'm a beach person, right? Because my family's from Miami, I was born there, we used to live there. And so, for me vacation means beach. Period.” - Dulcé Sloan “Whereas a staycation, now it's all up to you. Do you want Netflix? Do you want to just relax? Do you want sleep? That's all happening. It's happening at home.” - Josh Johnson We’re…

“As someone who believes in whimsy, as someone who loves wonder, as someone who believes that a childhood has some magic in it, I think that Santa is a good starter lesson.” - Josh Johnson “Lesson in what? Adults will lie to you?” - Dulcé Sloan In this Holiday themed episode of Hold Up, Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson d…

“Hotels edge out because sometimes hotels got a pool, hotels got a gym, hotels have a bar. A hotel can have a business center which is just a room with a printer.” - Dulcé Sloan “There are some places that you want to go where the hotel is going to be quite a drive from where you actually want to hang out, whereas an Airbnb has the ability to be mu…

“Target ends up being better because Walmart is too busy being chaotic. You know what you didn't see when you went to Target, you didn't see a proposal on aisle eight. You didn't see someone trying on clothes that do not fit them” - Josh Johnson “You've been working your whole life to not be a Walmart person. I, on the other hand, have always embra…

Josh and Dulcé are off today spending time with their families, but check out last week’s episode rehashing sweet potato pie vs. pumpkin pie. Hold Up will be back next week with an all-new episode! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.Kirjoittanut Comedy Central and iHeartPodcasts

“First of all, I'm a good person. Okay? So you know for fact that I pick sweet potato. Because ain't no way on God's blue marble that I'mma act like that I am going to be eating something that people carve faces to.” - Dulcé Sloan “I've never had a bad pumpkin pie, mainly because they've been store bought. But I have had some homemade pumpkin pies …