Parhaat Battle Royal Podcastit (2024)

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58 - Henry IV, Part 2 1:17:54

15d ago1:17:54

1:17:54

How will "Good King Henry" fare as we rate him? We know he spent his reign fighting, drinking and womanising, but what did he do for France? And more importantly, was he really the second coming of Hercules? Let is know what you thought of Henry, and whether he deserves the fate we've given him... ⚜️ The rendition of "Vive Henri IV" used for this e…

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58 - Henry IV, Part 1 1:20:39

22d ago1:20:39

1:20:39

We're back!!! And we're starting off a new royal line with Henry IV, the first Bourbon king. Is this stinky, ill-mannered heretic really the hero France has been waiting for after 30 years of civil war? Stay tuned for Part 2 next week, when we will rate Henry and decide whether he deserves the guillotine. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, …

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57.5 - Marguerite de Valois (Queen Margot), Part 2 54:49

3M ago54:49

54:49

It's time for Margot to truly REBEL. How will Margot's rollercoaster end, and how will she rate compared to the rest of the Valois clan? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Jo…

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57.5 - Marguerite de Valois (Queen Margot), Part 1 58:46

3M ago58:46

58:46

The last surviving of the Valois, this beautiful and intelligent princess is often seen as either a victim or a villain, but the memoirs she left behind and the reevaluation of modern historians show a different side to her story. She was a woman who struggled to find agency and self-determination in a world where the cards were stacked against her…

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Ranking Roundup #3 - The House of Valois 44:01

4M ago44:01

44:01

Au revoir, Valois! We have now ranked all the kings of France belonging to the House of Valois, the cadet branch of the Capetian dynasty which reigned supreme from 1328 to 1589. Before they take a well-earned break and start gearing up for the Bourbon kings, Ben and Eliza step back to re-examine the Valois. Who did the best? Who did the worst? And …

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57 - Henry III 1:32:39

4M ago1:32:39

1:32:39

This week we delve into the treacherous, tumultuous and frankly bizarre reign of King Henry III, who is certainly unlike any other king we've seen thus far! Will his entertaining shenanigans earn him a place in the tournament? And how much of his scandalous legacy is historical fact? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, conta…

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56.5 - Catherine de' Medici, Part 2 1:35:49

5M ago1:35:49

1:35:49

This episode, we close out Catherine de' Medici's life and give her a score. How does this notorious queen measure up against the likes of Charlemagne and Philip Augustus? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can a…

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56.5 - Catherine de' Medici, Part 1 1:06:01

5M ago1:06:01

1:06:01

In our first part of the endlessly fascinating life that is Catherine de' Medici's, we chart her rise from an orphaned Italian "merchant's daughter" to the Queen-Mother of Europe's most prestigious kingdom. Next episode, we will conclude the story and ask ourselves, is she really the scheming sorceress history has made us believe? Well ... she's no…

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56 - Charles IX 1:21:08

6M ago1:21:08

1:21:08

There will be blood. ⚜️ A summary of the major political figures in this episode (most of whom will be dead by the end): Catherine de' Medici, ruling on behalf of her son Charles IX, a moderating force between the factions (at first) The Ultra-Catholics: Duke Henry of Anjou, Charles IX's precocious younger brother The Duke and Cardinal de Guise, re…

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55 - Francis II (ft. Mary, Queen of Scots) 1:01:46

6M ago1:01:46

1:01:46

After the sudden demise of his father, young Francis II struggles to grasp his new responsibilities as King of France. Meanwhile, his ambitious young wife Mary Stuart and her relatives, the Guise family, make their first big bid for power. And the rumbles of religious unrest in France are only getting louder... ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode im…

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54 - Henry II 1:20:04

7M ago1:20:04

1:20:04

He's the husband of Catherine de' Medici, the lover of Diane de Poitiers, the father-in-law of Mary, Queen of Scots. Can Henry II stand out in a period dominated by these legendary women? How will he fare against the might of the Hapsburg Empire? And how will he reconcile his religion with the unlikely allies he has to make? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress …

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53 - Francis I (Part 2) 1:19:52

8M ago1:19:52

1:19:52

It's time to pass judgement on Francis I, deciding whether or not King Big-Nose deserves the guillotine! With this monarch, we enter a new age of Protestant rebellions, American colonialism and Hapsburg domination. Did Francis rise to meet these new challenges, or was he just a blustering fool? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summa…

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53 - Francis I (Part 1) 1:06:21

8M ago1:06:21

1:06:21

The long-awaited Renaissance king has finally arrived! This episode we go through the big moments his life from birth to death, from his famous meeting with Henry VIII at the Field of Cloth of Gold to his disastrous imprisonment in Spain. Next episode, we will be examining Francis's reign and legacy in further detail, and determining whether or not…

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52.5 - Louise of Savoy 1:20:03

9M ago1:20:03

1:20:03

From unwanted daughter to first lady of France, this episode we chart the gradual rise of Louise of Savoy - the mother, mentor and "great regent" of King Francis I. We'll see how she measures up to other French rulers of her time, and see whether she gets to sit in the VIP Box with our other impressive matriarchs. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode…

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52 - Louis XII (Part 2) 1:23:27

9M ago1:23:27

1:23:27

Now that we've done his life, let's pass judgement on Louis XII, AKA the Porcupine! Does he deserve a place among the great kings of French history, or is he just another snack for the guillotine? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or where…

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52 - Louis XII (Part 1) 1:06:04

9M ago1:06:04

1:06:04

After a life spent in second place to his royal cousins, how will the Duke of Orléans fare with his new promotion to King of France? Stay tuned for Part 2, where we discuss Louis's legacy and rate him, with special appearances from porcupines, vipers and bees (oh my!). ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and …

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51.5 - Anne of Brittany (Part 2) 1:12:48

10M ago1:12:48

1:12:48

In Part 2, we learn of Anne's second marriage and her ultimate fate! Does she deserve the score she got? Were the unicorn tapestries inspired by her? Was she the Taylor Swift of her time? Flock to our social media and let us know! Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on A…

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51.5 - Anne of Brittany (Part 1) 1:01:45

10M ago1:01:45

1:01:45

This episode, we take a brief detour from the Valois boys to visit gorgeous Brittany and give our latest queen, Anne, her own episode, as she was also a fierce ruler in her own right, and fought for her independence from a very young age. In Part 1, we learn about Anne's early life, her dangerous liaisons with the Austrian Hapsburgs, and her compli…

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51 - Charles VIII (Part 2) 1:12:24

11M ago1:12:24

1:12:24

As we reach the shocking end of Charles the Affable, we'll see how he measures up to his fellow kings of France. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mo…

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51 - Charles VIII (Part 1) 49:51

11M ago49:51

49:51

Charles VIII's exciting and storied reign takes us on an adventure (i.e. invasion) of Italy at the height of the Renaissance and all the soap-opera-worthy drama of the Medici, Sforza and Borgia families. In Part 1, we learn what led him to this fateful expedition, and how he did with his great ambition to conquer the Kingdom of Naples. Apologies fo…

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Regency of Madness - Results & Quiz! 27:41

11M ago27:41

27:41

It's time for us to close up a loose end and finally announce the winner of the Regency of Madness mini-tournament. And to help refresh our memories, Ben has also trapped Eliza in a quiz! So put on your thinking chapeaux, and get ready for some Valois trivia. SPOILERS (obviously) for everything that happened in our Regency of Madness miniseries. We…

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50.5 - Anne of France 1:27:12

11M ago1:27:12

1:27:12

Also called Anne de Beaujeu or Madame la Grande, this princess inherited all the best traits of her father the Universal Spider. Like him she was cunning and ruthless, yet she also had an eye for art and literature, updating the court for the new Renaissance era. Sadly for France, as a woman she would never become queen, but she did rule the realm …

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50 - Louis XI (Part 2) 1:07:02

12M ago1:07:02

1:07:02

Louis XI, the Universal Spider, is perhaps the ultimate antihero. We've rooted for him every step of the way as he takes down his enemies and returns France to its former glory. But how will this translate in his scores? Will he beat Charles VII, the father he loathed? And will he be deemed worthy to escape the guillotine? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress fo…

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50 - Louis XI (Part 1) 1:01:42

12M ago1:01:42

1:01:42

France may be out of the Hundred Years' War, but it's not out of the woods, and none knows this better than the suspicious, cynical and sinister character that is Louis XI. After an early life spent bickering with his father and fellow princes, Louis comes to the throne with a vengeance. But will his ambitions get the better of him? Next episode, t…

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Introducing Battle Royale: French Mistresses 11:22

1y ago11:22

11:22

We hope you are all enjoying the festive season! We have a very special Christmas present for you all this year, and it's the gift of the scandal, skullduggery and saucy shenanigans that are in store as we commence our much-anticipated spinoff series ranking all the official mistresses of France from Agnès Sorel to Madame du Barry. Thank you to Rob…

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49 - Charles VII 1:24:35

1y ago1:24:35

1:24:35

He may be "Charles the Victorious", for finally ending the Hundred Years' War, but this king has a somewhat mixed reputation among historians. This episode, we learn what happened after Joan of Arc and the Regents of Madness, and how France recovered from a century of devastation. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact …

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48.5 - Joan of Arc (Part 2) 50:00

1y ago50:00

50:00

It's all downhill from here.🔥 ⚜️ Recommended reading from this episode: Helen Castor, Joan of Arc: A History Larissa Juliet Taylor, The Virgin Warrior: The Life and Death of Joan of Arc Nancy Goldstone, The Maid and the Queen: The Secret History of Joan of Arc ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Mak…

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48.5 - Joan of Arc (Part 1) 56:31

1y ago56:31

56:31

The Maid of Orléans is well-known for having taken the intricate chessboard of the Hundred Years' War, tipped it upside down, kicked it across a field and scored a game-changing goal for the Blues after decades of decline. In the first of her well-earned 2-parter, we follow Joan of Arc's rise to prominence from peasant to saviour, and conclude at t…

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48 - Charles VI 1:12:10

1y ago1:12:10

1:12:10

It's now time to review the life and deeds of the "mad king" himself, Charles VI. In this episode, we talk about what the king was like before his mental illness took over, and what the darkest period of the Hundred Years' War was like from his tragic perspective. ⚜️ Music used in this episode: "Virtutes Instrumenti", "Lagoa v2" Kevin MacLeod (inco…

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Regency of Madness 5/5 - Charles of Orléans VS John of Bedford - ft. Passed 2:02:28

1y ago2:02:28

2:02:28

Our final two Regents of Madness bring the Hundred Year's War to its apotheosis. Henry V's brother Bedford was Charles VI's regent at the very end of his life, but Ben has uncovered that this English occupier was so much more than just a villain in our story. Meanwhile Veronica from Passed Podcast joins us once again, this time to take us through C…

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Regency of Madness 4/5 - Isabeau of Bavaria VS Yolande of Aragon - ft. Queens 1:44:00

1y ago1:44:00

1:44:00

Katy from Queens Podcast joins us for the showdown of showdowns: Isabeau VS Yolande, the Queen of France VS the "Queen of Four Kingdoms". As we go through their lives, we see the Hundred Years' War from the women's perspective and address some of the most controversial aspects of these queens' lives - from Isabeau's alleged affair during her husban…

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Regency of Madness 3/5 - John the Fearless VS Bernard of Armagnac - ft. Grand Dukes of the West 2:02:47

1y ago2:02:47

2:02:47

Get your tickets for Intelligent Speech Online (November 4th 2023) and use discount code ROYALE Josh Zucker from the Grand Dukes of the West podcast joins us to talk about yet another Duke of Burgundy, John the Fearless. And while John may not match his father for statecraft or shrewdness, he more than makes up for it in scandaliciousness. How will…

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Regency of Madness 2/5 - Louis of Bourbon VS John of Berry - ft. Passed 1:36:03

1y ago1:36:03

1:36:03

Veronica from Passed podcast joins us for our second foray into the regents of Charles VI. This time, we're covering his two remaining uncles. Veronica will cover Louis II, Duke of Bourbon (the nice uncle) while Ben covers John, Duke of Berry (the fun uncle). Which of them will Eliza deem to be the superior regent? While Bourbon looks out for his n…

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Regency of Madness 1/5 - Philip the Bold (of Burgundy) VS Louis of Orléans - ft. Grand Dukes of the West 2:02:01

1+ y ago2:02:01

2:02:01

Josh Zucker from the Grand Dukes of the West podcast joins us for the first episode in our 5-part miniseries on the regents of King Charles VI of France. This episode, we're pitting Josh's candidate Philip of Burgundy against Ben's candidate Louis of Orléans, and seeing which of them Eliza deems to be the supreme regent. In this episode, we'll see …

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Special Announcement! - Intelligent Speech Conference 2023 2:34

1+ y ago2:34

2:34

Go to intelligentspeechonline.com to get your early bird tickets for 4 November! And stay tuned for more announcements about when Ben will be speaking and what his topic will be. Remember to use the discount code "Royale" to get a further 10% off! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you le…

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Bastille Day D&D Special - The Beast of Saint Ulphia 2:40:26

1+ y ago2:40:26

2:40:26

To celebrate both the National Day of France and the second anniversary of the podcast, Ben is running a game of Dungeons and Dragons with Eliza and three special guests, inspired by the beast of Gévaudan, the legend of Saint Ulphia, and numerous other easter eggs from the podcast which astute listeners can find! Check out Roberto’s podcasts Histor…

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47 - Charles V (Part 2) 1:04:05

1+ y ago1:04:05

1:04:05

In the second half of our Charles V episode, we give him his scores and decide whether or not he should be admitted to the Battle Royale Tournament. In this episode, we get to see in great detail what Charles's court was like, thanks to the writing of Christine de Pizan (A WOMAN?!), plus we delve into some trouble in paradise between him and his co…

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47 - Charles V (Part 1) 1:01:14

1+ y ago1:01:14

1:01:14

The Hundred Years' War rages on, and the young Dauphin Charles upon becoming king is one of the most scrawny, disease-addled kings we've ever had. But with some strategic alliances, some tax reforms, and a bit of help from a random knight emerging from the woods, he just might be able to turn this ship around. Listen to the end for "Pope Slap 2: Re…

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46 - John II 2:00:40

1+ y ago2:00:40

2:00:40

How good was John the Good? Despite his dedication to honour and chivalry, John's reign is a hot mess, starting with the first outbreak of the Black Death, escalating into a murderous blood feud with Charles the Bad, and ending with a fun "holiday" with the Black Prince. Is John's personal courage and hutzpah enough to get him into the tournament, …

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45 - Philip VI 2:15:22

1+ y ago2:15:22

2:15:22

There's SO MUCH to cover in this episode! We didn't plan for a 2-parter and the recording ended up being very long, so we put a poll across our social media (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram) and a narrow majority voted for us to release it all at once, so DEAL WITH IT. You'll hear a snippet of Gustav Holst's "Mars" (performed by the Liverpool Philharm…

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Capetian Retrospective with Dr Gary Girod (The French History Podcast) 1:14:10

1+ y ago1:14:10

1:14:10

As the final capstone to the Direct Capetian Kings of France, we've invited Gary from THE French History podcast to talk power centralisation, the Crusade craze and the original Louvre fortress. We also get Ben recapping our history in a bad Scottish accent, and Eliza airing a controversial opinion about the Supermario brothers. In 2 weeks we will …

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Ranking Roundup #2 49:23

1+ y ago49:23

49:23

Before we delve into the Valois kings and the Hundred Years' War, it's time to take a breath and have a look back at the dynasty of Hugh Capet, and how they've compared to kings that came before. This latest series of episodes has certainly had its share of dark horses and shocking upsets. To follow our discussion today and see how all our kings an…

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44.5 - Joan II of Navarre (ft. The Black Death!) 1:22:19

1+ y ago1:22:19

1:22:19

Born into scandal and passed over for the throne several times, Little Jeannette finally got herself a throne at the age of 16, albeit not the one she had probably wanted... Nonetheless, Joan made the best of a bad situation and proved herself just as good as (if not better than) her male usurpers... that is, until a certain plague came knocking. M…

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44 - Charles IV (ft. Isabella the She-Wolf) 1:22:56

2y ago1:22:56

1:22:56

In 1325, the Queen of England returns to her native France, and this time the She-Wolf is out for blood... Oh, and Charles IV is also here! Will the runt of the Capetian litter be able to break the Curse of the Templars? Well, the short answer is a big fat NOPE. With the Hundred Years' War and the Black Death right around the corner, the omens are …

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43 - Philip V 58:19

2y ago58:19

58:19

Philip the Tall is not only built like a maypole, but has some fantastic ideas about how to get France out of its crisis period. As the middle son of the great Philip IV, he may have been overlooked in his youth, but now it's time for him to step over the corpse of his infant nephew, shove aside his 4-year-old niece and claim the crown for himself.…

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42 - John I 1:01:44

2y ago1:01:44

1:01:44

John the Posthumous (born after the death of his father) had a long and successful reign. The end. We also have a quiz this episode! Have a look on our Wordpress for the quiz questions and this episode's Enchanté Images. ⚜️ Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi, wh…

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41 - Louis X 1:16:24

2y ago1:16:24

1:16:24

Louis "le Hutin" (the Turbulent, Quarrelsome or Stubborn) is yet another Louis with big shoes to fill - both from his formidable father Philip IV and from his zealous namesake Saint Louis IX. But Louis has very little time to deal with famines, curses and civil unrest. He's too busy playing his favourite new sport: tennis! As if he didn't have enou…

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40 - Philip IV 1:46:44

2y ago1:46:44

1:46:44

Philip the Fair, also called "the Iron King", is about to prove himself a real dark horse in our little competition! Quiet but cunning, from a young age he proved himself a very prudent man but not afraid to execute ruthless moves when he needed to. As well as fighting wars on all fronts, Philip consolidated and improved upon the gains of previous …

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39.5 - Joan I of Navarre 1:25:12

2y ago1:25:12

1:25:12

Joan I became Queen of Navarre at 18 months old, and Queen of France at 12 years old. Due to her age and gender, she was prevented from taking a very active role in either kingdom. Her life saw an endless barrage of men trying to dim her light - from the cold man she married, to the foes invading her lands, to the vindictive bishop who may have cur…

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Vercingetorix (Patreon Teaser) 1:14:56

2y ago1:14:56

1:14:56

Eliza is under the weather, but we didn't want to leave you guys without an episode! So we're taking a break from the 13th Century and going back into the 1st... BC. This is a special release of our Patreon episode about Vercingetorix, King of the Gauls, who unified his people and fought to the bitter end against the conquest of Julius Caesar. Join…

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