From 1981 to 1999. she lived in constant fear of being outed, knowing that discovery could end her career in an instant. In honor of Veteran's Day, Monica Skarban returns to the podcast to share her personal story of serving in the U.S. Air Force as a closeted gay woman. She watched firsthand as friends were dishonorably discharged after being expo…

For those struggling with the recent election results, this episode offers a bit of encouragement. Joe and Rya share their thoughts on the outcome and present a perspective you probably haven't heard. Send us a text Support the showKirjoittanut Trandescendant Podcast

The mid-twentieth century was a defining moment in LGBTQ history, marking the beginning of a long and difficult fight for equality. Joe and Rya retell the stories of Frank Kameny and Jamie Shoemaker, two key figures whose lives were forever changed by the persecution of LGBTQ individuals. Kameny’s activism helped ignite the struggle for LGBTQ right…

Imagine if computer AI could help you discover your true identity—perhaps even before you understood yourself. From personalized health care for trans individuals, to tools that aid in gender exploration, "Artificial Intelligence" is transforming the LGBTQ+ community. We live in a time of exciting possibilities for progress. But is there also a dar…

In this episode, Rya and Joe have a heartfelt discussion about how AI is transforming society, with a focus on its potential impact on the LGBTQ community. They explore how AI functions, its growing role in various fields like healthcare and creative work, and the ethical concerns surrounding data usage and misinformation. The conversation touches …

In the second half of their interview with John Paulk, Joe and Rya continue to explore the complexities of his journey out of the ex-gay movement. Rya shares her experience attending a Love Won Out conference as a closeted trans woman in the '90s, while John opens up about the "dirty little secret" within the ex-gay community—that no one actually c…

Our good friend of the podcast, John Paulk, returns in this important episode. John is a former leader of the ex-gay movement who has since renounced conversion therapy and embraced his true identity. He gives a first-hand account of why conversion therapy is so hurtful. He discusses the lack of evidence supporting the idea that anyone can truly ch…

Many well-meaning allies unknowingly cause harm by not recognizing their own ignorance. Joe and Rya explore how even the most supportive allies can miss the signals that they are pushing their loved one away and don't know it. Good intentions are not enough. What does it take to educate yourself? Using sales analogies from their shared business exp…

Joe and Rya take a deep-dive into the ways LGBTQ people can learn to accept themselves through play. They discuss Rya's childhood love for Dungeons & Dragons, a game which is celebrating its 50th anniversary in 2024. They explore how role-playing games and other childhood hobbies offer queer individuals a safe space for self-discovery and expressio…

Is mental health therapy really worth the investment, especially when navigating complex LGBTQ experiences? In this episode, Joe and Rya consider common skepticism about therapy's value, addressing concerns over cost and effectiveness. Through personal reflections on seeking therapy before coming out, Rya illustrates how professional guidance can o…

What happens when our opponents' political rhetoric spirals out of control? Joe and Rya explore how the intense divisiveness in politics feeds the growing conflict surrounding LGBTQ+ issues. The way we frame our own stories can mask the true values that would bring us together. Send us a text Support the show…

Father Greg Greiten knew from an early age that he had a secret. In this episode, he shares the deep mental anguish he experienced trying to keep his identity hidden, including moments when he considered ending it all. In this episode, Father Greg tells Joe and Rya how he finally came out as gay to his parishes, and what happened in the aftermath. …

A listener shares how she has been grappling with fear that her son might be gay. Joe and Rya offer thoughts on how to maintain a strong relationship without compromising her beliefs. The discussion centers on how to reconcile personal values with the love and connection she has for her son. Joe shares some ways he coped when Rya came out, and Rya …

In this episode, Joe and Rya discuss the complexities of fighting injustice, exploring when standing up for what’s right can go too far. They examine how political divisiveness and social media can lead to the dehumanization of others, even in the name of a good cause. The conversation also touches on the importance of preserving dignity in all rel…

In this episode, Will shares his experiences of being asexual and aromantic, providing insights into his journey and what it means to navigate the world with these identities. The conversation delves into his worries about coming out at work and how his message would be received. Additionally, the discussion turns to the importance of being a bette…

Did you know that there is dramatic segmentation between different parts of the LGBTQ+ community? We often group people together when we don't understand them. But no one is a stereotype. Each person is an individual, and each is on a continuum. Joe and Rya explore the variety of ways people might find themselves as a part of the LGBTQ+ community. …

In this moving interview with Monica Skarban, she shares how her Catholic Church embraced her with full acceptance after the death of her wife. She discusses the rejection she experienced in some churches and the joy of discovering a parish that fully embraced them. Monica’s story highlights that there are affirming churches for everyone, and no on…

This episode delves into the origins and complexities of prejudice against LGBTQ+ individuals, specifically focusing on attitudes towards homosexuality. Homophobia extends beyond mere dislike or fear; it encompasses deep-seated societal norms, cultural biases, and often religious teachings that contribute to discrimination and exclusion. This episo…

Have you ever tried to convince someone they are believing a lie? If you say something enough times with no proof at all, people start to believe it. A lot of what homophobes have been saying for decades just isn't true. But you can't convince them otherwise. So what can you do? Speak up. Dismantling lies happens the same way they are constructed i…

Every love story is different. Ameera and Julia didn't plan to have a relationship. It just happened, and suddenly they realized they were together. Despite objections from conservative Muslims peers, they affirmed their gender, retained their faith, and pursued their love. After three years of marriage, their love for one another shines even brigh…

Rya had an emotional session with her therapist this afternoon. In this episode, Joe and Rya discuss what happened and why she felt so vulnerable. Joe asks about the value of seeing a therapist. We all know mental health is important, and we need to learn to accept the help that is available for us when we need it. Discover how to live life to its …

As we near the end of Pride month, we want to keep looking for ways to strengthen our commitment to our LGBTQ loved ones. This episode gives a checklist for maximizing the good and minimizing the harmful in our relationships. Let's show those who closest to us that we are ALL IN. Send us a text Support the show…

Being an ally means more than just being accepting our gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, or other sexual- or gender-non-conforming loved one. We want to become fully affirming. How do we learn to stand proud of our LGBTQ+ friends and family? The way to grow is to keep learning. The more we know, the more we become true advocates and suppo…

You've heard from the Dad. You've heard from the Daughter. But you've never heard from the Mom... until now. In this episode, she shares her earliest struggles to accept the news that her adult child came out as transgender. At first the shock was overwhelming. But she found a deep well of strength to bring her through. If you or someone you know i…

For over a decade, John Paulk was the most visible spokesperson for conversion therapy. He gave his testimony on Oprah, 60 Minutes, and everywhere he could about how God had changed him from gay to straight. But inside, it was just fake-it-till-you-make-it. What happens when you finally admit to yourself that your entire ministry has been nothing b…

We need to tell people that myths are just that. When we do not challenge ideas that have already been debunked, we allow falsehoods to perpetuate . Don't buy into the misinformation. This episode gives a taste of some of the misleading views about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people. Be a voice of positivity in the world. Send us a text…

Maggie Williams joins us for a one-year update about her transition. A year ago, we explored the similarities and differences with Rya's transition. But this past year has brought some important milestones on her journey. You won't want to miss her unexpected story. Check out Maggie's transgender art installation project at thetransperience.com Sen…

When we hear transgender stories, we often encounter tragic elements and tales of difficult experiences. We frequently learn how gender dysphoria drives trans people to give up everything. But what about uplifting trans experiences? What happens when the popular kid comes out? In this episode, Elliott shares his inspiring story about how positive h…

Joe has mentioned on this podcast in the past how he had a drinking problem. We wanted to explore the ways alcohol affected his life, and what brought him to the decision never to have another drink. Whether you have a healthy relationship with alcohol or you struggle with abusing alcohol or other drugs, you will benefit from hearing his story. Sen…

We like to think we know what we're talking about. But the people who disagree with us think they are just as correct we think we are. How do we know who is right? When it comes to preserving relationships, sometimes it is more important to accept when we are wrong than it is to recognize when they are. Joe and Rya share ways to discover our own bi…

Everyone is different. Everyone is a minority, and minorities are good. Let's end the stigma against LGBTQ people being weird or odd. Committed allies understand that the majority is comprised of a combination of minorities. We are all queer in some form. The happiest people embrace our authentic differences and celebrate one another for who we are…

A year ago, we shared an update about the podcast and where things were headed. Now, one year later, the TranDescendant community has grown exponentially. Joe and Rya paint their vision for where the podcast is headed for the coming year. Plus, a CRITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT you won't want to miss! Send us a text Support the show…

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One of our most powerful episodes yet! In our March 11 podcast, we went through the verses that anti-LGBTQ people use to say that it is wrong to be gay. We provided an approach that allows you to affirm LGBTQ people while still following the Bible. In this episode, we take the argument a step further, demonstrating why it is absolutely wrong to con…

Did you know that Rya is not the only transgender person in the family? Shortly after her transition, another younger member of the family also transitioned. Heather shares the heart wrenching story of how she was rejected by her mother before winning the battle for acceptance. She offers advice on how she ultimately found peace with her own gender…

Society does not have any written rules for how men or women behave. The social aspect of gender is simply "how things are done." But what happens when someone is sending the "wrong" signals? Rya describes her journey as a transgender woman learning to navigate a new set of social rules. From there, Joe and Rya discuss how gender functions in gener…

This episode starts by examining honestly the main reasons why some believers feel they must reject gay relationships to follow the Bible. It's not a lack of sincerity. But interpretation is a value judgment. The surface reading of the text is not necessarily the best reading. The Bible is a collection of statements from many viewpoints. Each state…

If you're in that place of searching right now, this episode will help you along your way. Rya shares her journey of how she continually weighed the positives and negatives and how agonizing the decision was for her. When enough of the answers converge, there comes a point when you can finally accept who you are inside. Everyone's story is differen…

Are you using the wrong words without knowing it? Despite all the best intentions, if we use the wrong vocabulary in talking about LGBTQ issues, we can unintentionally alienate ourselves from the very people we were trying to support. Allies can become a closer part of the group simply by using the language of the community. Once you decide to beco…

Coming out of the closet brings a newfound freedom. But it can also be accompanied by great loss. Rya tells her story of coming out, and the loss she experienced. Together, she and her dad explore how the first few stages of grieving can affect a person who has decided to come out. They discuss ways to find hope in the midst of the pain of loss. Se…

Joe tells his journey towards becoming totally accepting towards Rya after she transitioned. How did he feel after the son he thought he had now was presenting as his daughter? They tell the story of the difficulties the family had in coming to a place of acceptance. They look at ways their story can help others when a loved one comes out as gay or…

What does it mean to "act gay?" We often find ourselves embodying stereotypes. But those stereotypes do not define us. They are often the byproduct of living authentically. It's easy for outsiders to focus only on the mannerisms and never see the real person. The truth about being LGBTQ is that we have the same hopes and dreams as anyone else. Matt…

Joe's granddaughter Maya returns to discuss how younger generations are slowly beginning to view orientation and gender as a non-issue. Topics include changes to expectations and gender norms among teenagers and early twenty-somethings. Next, the conversation shifts to younger students, exploring the ways Junior High children are approaching LGBTQ+…

We like to believe that love and commitment are enough to make a marriage work. But what happens when one partner comes out as LGBTQ+? Is divorce ever the right option? Rya speaks from the heart about her difficult journey coming out to her wife as a transgender woman, and her wife's own struggle at suddenly facing a spouse who could no longer be t…

This episode is everything you've always wondered about "the surgery" but were afraid to ask. Or maybe you weren't afraid to ask, and some poor trans person had to remind you that we don't talk about those things in polite society. Either way, this episode has all your answers. We discuss the various types of surgeries on offer, the history of surg…

Recent debacles involving the school board in Bucks county, Pennsylvania prompted Joe and Rya to have a discussion about how we should approach cultural conflict. When we make a negative display of ourselves, those on the other side can paint us as villains. We end up working against our own society. When others begin to see us as a threat, we lose…

Do you believe in love at first sight? Roy and Matthew do. The first time they met, they knew they belonged together. But for each of them, telling friends and family about a new partner also meant coming out as gay. To their surprise, they never anticipated the sense of freedom that would come with being their most authentic selves. Start the year…

We often contemplate resolutions we can make to improve our lives. Coming off of last week's episode about cultivating self-esteem, Joe and Rya provide seven actionable habits you can implement into your life right now to help you live a more positively. Here are seven actions to strengthen your self-image. It's your privilege and your responsibili…

We all have experiences in our lives that tax our self-esteem. It's too easy to let other people's opinions of us make us feel ashamed. We can allow those negative emotions to bring us down...or we can take intentional steps to counteract them and to cultivate positivity. Send us a text Support the show…

As a society, we must always watch out for the marginalized among us. LGBTQ+ elders are among the most vulnerable. Yet most of us have never stopped to consider the unique challenges of aging LGBTQ+ seniors. How can we act with compassion and love towards those who have gone before us? Send us a text Support the show…