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What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have merit, but they're often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety. It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Porn addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges that I address using evidence-based psychological and behavioral practices. My mission isn't just to help people overc ...
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My name is Bulumko Papu (you can call me Bullz). This is a podcast about porn addiction recovery. Here I talk about tips and tricks that can help you on your recovery journey. Ill be sharing my story and the things I've learnt in my own journey as well.
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What if your brain pushes you towards porn addiction because it’s trying to help you, not hurt you? What if you could quit porn using IFS, an approach that helps you effectively understand and speak with the part of your brain pushing you towards porn, and you could redirect it? What if you could work alongside that part to overcome porn addiction,…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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November 5th is a big day - its Guy Fawkes Day, Vern's Birthday and yes - the American election. How deal with the big feelings that will follow the election can make us truly vulnerable to relapse. Vern walks through how we navigate these strong emotions. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect arou…
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Porn addiction and perfectionism go hand-in-hand. If you want to stop watching porn, you need to understand the underlying relationship between porn addiction and these self-critical tendencies. One of the great misconceptions out in the world is that porn addicts are selfish, lazy, or simply don’t try hard enough. But in working with these men one…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Do you wish you had a list of recovery mindset statements that could train your brain out of porn addiction? Do you wish you had porn addiction positive affirmations that could convince you to quit porn? Today I am not going to give you that list…because that list does not exist. Don’t believe the hype out there… But what I am going to give you is:…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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There are two types of pathways we can walk in recovery - Plan A is the one we prefer and we have all tried it - unsuccessfully. This episode is about Plan B - and why we end up having to follow this route. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a bet…
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You cannot quit porn simply by overcoming sexual cravings and urges. Porn addiction doesn’t ultimately stem from these urges (as surprising as that is). In reality, porn cravings are a symptom of underlying psychological barriers you're experiencing that are preventing porn addiction recovery. Instead of facing or fighting porn cravings, you need t…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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A big step of recovery is when you turn around and help guys who are not as far along the journey as you are. Mac is one of the guys I coach and he has created a great podcast that he shares with younger guys - it's called porn free millenial and you can access it here. https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/porn-free-millennial-podcast/id1688517945…
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Have you ever had a streak of sobriety, only to go on a vacation or business trip and relapse on porn? In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to take a proactive approach. One of the most counterintuitive things about vacation is that it can be one of the greatest triggers for relapse. Vacation takes us out of our …
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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If you’re married and you struggle with a porn addiction, we’re going to talk about what to do when your wife is triggered. I have seen a recurring trend with my clients who struggle with pornography addiction. Many have no boundaries with their partners. They face some very serious struggles and confusion in their marriage, trying to figure out ho…
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What is the Primal Need which drives your behaviors, informs your fears and causes you to reach for your medicine jar? (porn) In this episode Vern asks the question "If porn is our favorite solution, then what is the primal question we are seeking to answer or problem we are seeking to solve? If you are interested in reading the book, 7 Primal Ques…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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In today’s article, I’m going to share a story with you. One that I believe every porn addict can relate to. This story is going to teach you how to heal porn addiction using loving and compassionate methods that, in my opinion, people don’t talk about enough. It’s also going to teach you the truth about the underlying psychology and root causes of…
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What if you had mental tools you could use in an instant to remove your desire for porn? What if you could stop watching porn because you had a recovery mindset that replaced your need for it? What I often hear from my clients when they begin my intensive porn addiction recovery program is that cravings for porn and sex feel instant and automatic. …
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We all know the things that we want to leave behind - do we have a clear sense of what we want to see grow in our life? In this episode Vern shares the result of a brainstorming session he did with a group of guys around the things they wanted to move toward. Funny thing - they all start with "C". We are starting new finding traction groups this fa…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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“My wife won’t have sex with me”, “Porn addiction has ruined our marriage and our sex life”, “My wife has gained 80 lbs since we got married, and I’m no longer sexually attracted to her”, “My wife dresses like a nun and wants nothing to do with sex”... If any of these sound like you, and you’re in a marriage where sex is as frequent as a solar ecli…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
  continue reading
 
When it comes to living in sustained recovery two of the most problematic words we can utter are the words "What If". Today I unpackage why those two words get us in trouble more often than we realize. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better l…
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Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can: Overcome sexual obsession so he can lead a happier, more fulfilling life. Feel truly sexually satisfi…
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I've heard a number of pretty dumb things in coaching guys. I've even thought and said a few of them myself - the following are six of the dumbest things that I have come across. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. If you want more i…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Many of my clients have the same question when they start my porn addiction recovery program: “When triggers for porn come up, I just don’t know how to handle them. Are there any simple practices I can use to overcome porn triggers?” In today’s episode, I am going to show you how to beat porn triggers and overcome porn addiction using a 5-step syst…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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frEver been in a bad recovery group? Ever felt nervous about joining a group because of the many ways it could go wrong? In this episode Vern explores how to tell when a group is toxic and when it is healthy. We are starting up new Finding Traction groups in September 2024. Normally groups are $149/month but if you sign up by August 31 - Vern is of…
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Do you or your spouse struggle with a porn addiction? Or do you suspect that you or your spouse may be struggling with one? Today, I’m going to share 17 porn addiction symptoms that porn addicts and spouses should know. I’ve been working in the addiction community for years, and I have seen recurring patterns and themes among clients and friends wh…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Have you ever heard of the saying "Eat Your Frogs" I hadn't! But today we talk about an issue that many porn strugglers have embedded in their lives - their propensity to procastinate! Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn. To get access to this platform join u…
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You just watched porn. You’ve been working hard to stay sober and stop watching porn, but despite your best efforts, you slipped up and now you’re in a dilemma… How to tell your wife about your porn relapse? Relapses are a common part of porn addiction recovery. I would love it if they weren’t, but they are! It’s just the reality. During the years …
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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What if we have a relapse after a long period of sobriety? In this episode Vern shares from his life about how demoralizing this can be but also how to get back up on our feet with the proper perspective. Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn. To get access to …
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If you struggle with porn addiction, it can be a real challenge to figure out why you experience cravings for porn. A lot of the world will tell you it’s because you crave sex - it’s your natural urges - and you just need to discipline yourself enough to stop watching porn. That’s not the case. You’re not a man with an overactive sex drive. You’re …
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
  continue reading
 
Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ever seen that Snickers Ad - "I'm not myself when I'm hungry"? Today we introduce a marriage tip called Filters that has been of immense benefit to myself. To add a living example I introduce one of my coaching clients, Jim, who has applied this to his marriage. I love to help guys walk away from porn toward a fuller richer live. If you are looking…
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Today, you're going to use 3 evidence-based IFS principles to learn how to quit porn by making friends with the addict part of your brain. IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy is a powerful framework for overcoming addiction. It takes a non-traditional approach that has been studied and utilized for 40 years, and has been shown to be highly effect…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
  continue reading
 
What if you had a mental toolbelt to stop porn cravings and overcome fantasizing and lust habits? Today, I’m going to give you exactly that. By the end of this episode, you will have 7 tools to overcome fantasizing and lust, so you can beat porn cravings and stop wanting pornography. But - just like anything - in order for them to work, you have to…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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In this episode we discuss how and why group support and 1:1 coaching or therapy is so helpful for both the betrayed partner and the addict to experience deeper healing. 1) Find a CSAT in your local area https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 2) If that's not possible, find a CSAT or sex addiction therapist or coach that works virtually (here …
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When my porn addiction recovery story started a decade ago, I believed that the cravings for porn were my main enemy. I thought that if I could just resist these urges, I’d be free. However, through years of working with men around the world and diving deep into my own experiences, I've come to understand that these cravings are merely symptoms of …
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Today is part 4, of a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. In this episode we discuss the benefits of journaling, how it helps bring awareness to patterns, assists in recovery, and benefits long term health. 5 year journal: https://www.levenger.com/products/5-year-journal?variant=425373…
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What if you could write a letter to the younger version of yourself? What would you say? In this episode Vern introduces the idea of writng a letter to the future you - towards a specific recovery application. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly …
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Today is part 3, of a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. Many of these tools are created or inspired by Dr. Ted Roberts who created the Conquer Series which we highly recommend. You can purchase this resources or join a group at PureDesire.org In this episode we discuss creating the 3…
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