Parental Alienation julkinen
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Heal your life following parental alienation. Supporting and inspiring target parents in their journey to rebuild after experiencing the gut wrenching effects of unjustified cutoff from their child (aka parental alienation) and/or domestic abuse. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beyondthehighroad/support
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Welcome to our podcast Parental Alienation: From Couch to Courtroom and Beyond. We will discuss the resisting and refusing dynamic, commonly referred to as Parental Alienation, how you know it’s happening and what can be done about it. The literature and research will be presented and show how this form of child abuse is a traumatic adverse childhood experience. Parental Alienation can cause stress and trauma in high conflict divorces. These podcasts focus on how attorneys and mental health ...
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I am an alienated parent of three. Part-time psychiatric nurse, part-time writer. I am also an online activist against parental alienation. I use my knowledge of mental health and lived experience of parental alienation to promote awareness of parental alienation.
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show series
 
Do You Self-Erase? I believe that the people and experiences we attract into our lives are a direct reflection of how we think & feel about ourselves on the inside… We can only connect with the same level of energy that we are putting out… you know? Continuing on from last week, I truly believe that.. due to our individual histories, we already lea…
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Ever notice that, when caught in the clutches of a stressful moment, how you freak out and do exactly the opposite of: what you really want to do what is in your best interest, and/or what supports your goals and dreams? Like, in the moment, you know what you want longterm, but you just can't seem to stop yourself from choosing the unhealthy option…
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If you've been down the research rabbit hole of alienation's long-term effects on children, you're well aware of the toll it could take on their cognitive development. Similarly (tho your brain may have been fully developed when your children were born), parents like us also experience a dulling of our critical thinking and deductive reasoning skil…
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We spend our lives running, trying to circumnavigate situations that seem scary. It starts in school... we don't want to feel rejection. Hurt. We shudder at the idea of being made a fool or taken advantage of. Instead, we hide ourselves away, build up all these walls in effort to avoid emotional pain. Then, when the alienation begins... seemingly o…
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We, as parents experiencing alienation, know isolation. We know lonely. Heck... it's right there in the two word term! When alienation begins, it doesn't only affect your role in your child's life -- in fact, the predicament we've found ourselves in affects so many other relationships. Until recently, your children were intertwined with your entire…
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It seemed IMPOSSIBLE not to be consumed by it all.. The injustices were everywhere I turned. I was being followed, harassed, bullied, slandered, intimidated, threatened, and of course, grossly criticized of my ability of mother my child. The network of judges, custody evaluators, crooked "family" attorneys (not all of them were/are, but..); the str…
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Part One: What We KNOW: When we've practiced believing the things we "know" for so long, we rarely question their validity. Even less often do we think to assess whether these "truths" work for us.. for who we are becoming. We go around thinking certain traits we've adopted are just "who we are"... but are they representing the you that you want to…
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Guilt is an extremely common emotion during (any kind of ) grief. So if youre experiencing it, nothing has gone wrong in your healing. AND... as alienated parents, I think we can all agree that we guilt ourselves probably far more often than necessary. Before doing this work, I had no idea why. In this episode: Why guilt is a go-to for us Why we fe…
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So... I received some news last week... News that even just two short years ago would’ve had me in a tailspin. I would’ve been so worked up, stomach on a roller coaster while working full speed to put reference to & defend the outrageous claims he was making against me. I think it's safe to say that, when youre cradling your darling, sweet smelling…
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In this episode, we'll delve into the crucial distinction between giving up and acceptance for us, as parents experiencing alienation. Only you can decide what's right for you (and there is no "right" answer, anyway), but thru a couple personal stories, along with my own experience, this content will provide you with the clarity you've been searchi…
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We can learn to "get by" after alienation happens; ducking behind a shield of indifference, while experiencing an ever-present undertone of victimhood... head on a swivel, while the subconscious brain scans the environment for any sign of danger (in the form of the alienating parent)... Is it obvious that I speak from experience on this one? 😆 ...o…
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Should talk. Do you ever get tired of the pressure that comes with "should" & "shouldn't"? "Life shouldn't be like this." "My ex shouldn't be alienating my kid from me." "People shouldn't be so rude." "I should be further along than I am" "I should look forward to my parenting time" "I should look forward to my scheduled call with my kid" "I should…
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Are you an unintentional hater? Chances are, if you've gone thru the tragic situation of alienation, you probably also had your "fair" share of heartbreaking experiences before the custody battle even began. It would make perfect sense if you picked up a few protective/coping mechanisms without even noticing. Here are just a couple of reasons why t…
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A brief review of an article by Drs. Bernet, Wamboldt, and Narrow which presents a mental condition that is in the DSM-V-TR essentially describes Parental Alienation. Please visit www.naopas.com or www.drbobevans.com for more information on parental alienation and Dr. Evans.Kirjoittanut Dr. Bob Evans and NAOPAS
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Hope sounds like such a great thing. It sounds so affirmative, supportive, and well... HOPEFUL! Nearly every parent I've ever spoken with (hundreds of you) has used the word at least once during our conversations. Here's the thing about it: It SUCKS. Stay with me here. Think back to the last time you used it. How did it make you feel? ...On the ins…
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Your ability to succeed is directly related to your default beliefs. In other words, if deep down, you don't believe you can accomplish amazing things, you will never try. You will live a mediocre life. You'll dumb yourself down. I know you are more than that. I believe that -- no matter the obstacles -- you can do and be anything you decide on. So…
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Being in relationships with people you love - or even like -- disappointment is bound to happen every now and then. It's just part of being human. After alienation happens, we often clutch tightly to those who stuck around; we tend to expect more from them (after all, they're aware of the hell we've been through). Oftentimes, we develop a ruleset f…
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I should be further along by now. It's too late. I'm too old. I missed my window. It's not happening fast enough. After alienation happened, each of those phrases played on a daily rotation in the jukebox of my brain. I never understood how people could get so much accomplished with such (seemingly) little effort. To me, it seemed like all I did wa…
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What would change in your life if you weren’t afraid to have difficult conversations? Getting along with someone in your life when they're not acting as they "should" is one of the most challenging issues we face around the holidays. Then, when we add alienation into the mix, the opportunities for conflict to arise seem to multiply. One of the main…
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In last week's episode I made a mistake. I referred to one of my thought choices as an "old resentment", suggesting that it's somewhat out of my control that I still lug it around with me today. But that's not how it actually is. And Than GOD for that. If we all had to reckon with the pain from our pasts by continuing to repeat the same old painful…
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Change is inevitable. Right now, as you read this, the world around you is evolving. YOU are evolving. We all know this from an intellectual standpoint; but emotionally, we fight it tooth & nail. Change occurs when something makes it impossible for you to remain the same. Just as the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, YOU, as an alienated par…
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Am. Psychiatric Association and the World Health Organization recognizes Parental Alienation as being included in existing diagnoses and mental conditions. This episode reveals communications between the Parental Alienation Study Group (PASG) and the APA that establishes Parental Alienation as a mental disorders as incorporated into existing diagno…
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I think one of my top pet peeves has to be when some person I dont know tells me:"smile! It can't be that bad!" You know what I'm talking about, right? I think the reason it annoys me so much is because that person is implying that a.) they know what's going on in my head and b.) that the absence of smile on my face is actually affecting them so mu…
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As alienated parents, the emotions we experience are INTENSE. Over time, anger can be sewn into -- BAKED into -- the fabric of your being. It can begin to affect how you think, feel, and interact on default... down to your posture, facial expressions, and subconscious interpretations of your world around you. I used to think that when I had an inte…
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I was thinking the other day about us (target parents), and about our children, for whom most of us would pledge both arms to have home again. Then it occurred to me.. "but I wonder how many parents feel ready to have them home?" ... "and I wonder how many of those parents have taken the steps necessary?" ... "or even know the steps to take?" Becau…
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Those of us who've experienced alienation are all pretty well-versed in both pain & suffering. The combination of the two is AGONY. The good news is, only ONE of these is necessary. IN this episode: - my thoughts on getting to "happy" - how we perpetuate our pain - dirty pain on top of clean pain - why it's so important to allow your base pain - 4 …
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The stereotyping, name calling of the target parent gets very little attention in our litigation cases, but the research in this area suggests it's a much bigger assault than is recognized. This episode presents some of the social psychological research that presents a warning. Please visit www.naopas.com or www.drbobevans.com for more information …
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This week makes ONE WHOLE YEAR for us! I say "us", because I really feel like you are part my team -- an integral part. This week's episode is dedicated to my top 10 favorite insights and most valuable lessons I've learned on this road to recovery. It's on the lengthier side, but as you'll hear, I had a lot going on for me personally this week. Enj…
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Social Anxiety... it cripples many target parents of alienation. Throughout the year, I believe we kind of "manage" ourselves around it; however, once the holiday season rolls around, the influx of reminders can cause some of us to feel overwhelmed. The feelings show up in subtle ways at first, causing behaviors such as avoiding eye contact or limi…
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Decisions... they seem so damn difficult to make (after alienation happens). Especially when you're in an active state of worry about what might happen as a result of your choice. Your brain will keep you in a state of paralysis if you've been telling yourself things like: "last time I made a decision, it cost me....." "Any choice I make is going t…
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I used to think that the activation of my stress response meant I was DOOMED. You hear about it on the news, on social media... Heck, even my therapist harped on me about the insidious effects prolonged stress can have on the brain and body - early onset cognitive decline, cancers High BP, premature aging, depression, blah blah.. 😵‍💫SHEESH. I mean,…
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Did you know that you were MADE for THIS CHALLENGE of alienation? Believe it or not, you already came equipped with everything you need to move through this (AND THEN SOME!!). Not everybody can boast this. And ya... you may chuckle -- even scoff -- at my glass-half-full perspective on the otherwise grim, depleting, and ugly predicament you've found…
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Negative thought loops. Ohhh the time that we spend here. It’s a predicament that we, as parents experiencing alienation, seem to be especially prone to. The psychological environment almost seems to set up for it. Target parents can feel singled out — isolated, persecuted, unsafe. Our hyper vigilance causes our survival brain to run and RErun poss…
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Are you doing enough? I hear this question all the time. My clients often wonder and worry over this… and it makes sense. If your days were once filled with carting your kiddo to and from school, soccer practice, recitals, Brownies, Boy Scouts, etc, and then all the sudden… you weren’t… Its completely understandable that youre feeling a sense of ur…
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“I must've done something really bad to deserve alienation”. “I’ll never get through this.” “My children will hate me forever.” “This is how my life is going to be from here on out.” “It’ll never work.”These are your Automatic Negative Thoughts… your brain’s go-to sentences it recites when you experience a moment of discomfort. They’re knee jerk me…
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Do you appreciate you? Do you ever stop to delight in your funny little quirks, your gorgeous hair or calves, or your kind heart? I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you probably don't. If you do, it's not often enough. It makes sense. If you have been called "unfit" or "unsafe" by the alienator (possibly your children too), the emotional pa…
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Boundaries... As a target parent, I'm sure you have some thoughts around this concept. Most people have an immediate reaction when they hear the word. For years, I truly thought they were a way to politely control the person I was setting a boundary for. I thought I could use them as a tool to somehow entice my SO to straighten up and fly right. I …
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Here in the US (among many other countries), back to school is gearing up; and as parents experiencing alienation, this time of year can serve as one gigantic reminder that we won't be seeing our children off to their first day in their new grade (or moving them into their new dorm room). No first day photos, no Meet the Teacher night... "Challengi…
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Parental alienation is rooted in blame. They blame us. You go to family court, and what happens? BLAME. The custody evaluator? The GAL? Blame and blame. As a result, our children learn that blaming is an acceptable way to behave. And, in response, we blame them (the alienating parent). The problem is, when we blame, we put a halt to all progress an…
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As the back-to-school shopping gears up, this might be a rather painful reminder that things aren't how you planned them to be. As an alienated parent, this might be a sensitive time for you. Maybe your firstborn is off to college.. Maybe your little one is entering a new school, and you're wondering who their teachers might be, what they'll wear o…
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The fawn response is most often learned as a result of a.) growing up with a parent or caretaker.. b.) being in a relationship with an abusive partner... ... who was unable to regulate their emotions. As such, you may have learned to pacify & prioritize their wants/needs over your own. It's a maladaptive behavior that many (if not most) of us as al…
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In this episode, we briefly introduce the social psychology perspective of parental alienation. Spinning of the work of Dr. Zimbardo, a social psychologist who examine the evil doings of some ordinary people, we explored the notion that parental alienation can go beyond just the individual. Please visit www.naopas.com or www.drbobevans.com for more…
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As alienated parents, I think so many of us feel depleted. Like, the only thing you wanted was taken, and now you’re afraid to want — so you’ve effectively blocked yourself from knowing what your wants are. And even ifs you did know what you wanted, you might be so focused on what's going wrong, that you dont see how anything could be right. But he…
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When you're being alienated from your child, it can seem like your world -- which was once FILLED with endless opportunity -- is now depleted. I GET IT. I felt that way too.If you allow your emotional brain to run with its narratives, it's entirely possible to go from being a positive & pleasantly naive person to feeling jaded & beat to a pulp. You…
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Make today the day you set yourself free from the alienator's choke hold on your life. Over the holiday weekend, I was thinking back to the day that I set myself felt free -- from the negativity, the anger, the helplessness -- there was a clear turning point in my healing, where I left all of the dark days behind me. I'll share with you a few stori…
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You know what I'm talking about... when you get wind of another accusation, insult, or disparaging remark that the alienating parent is slinging your way? Yup. As alienated parents, I've always said that we should each be assigned our own (king-size) catcher's mitt, designed specifically for this reason. Jokes aside, it makes sense that you feel th…
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Parental Alienation cases don't always present themselves immediately and favored parents enter therapists' offices with hidden agenda. The indications that a therapist is about to be lured into a case are not always blatant and obvious. As it turns out this information is not taught in graduate schools and therapists frequently have to learn these…
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Recently, I've noticed an uptick in suffering in the online communities (specifically for alienated parents). People seem to be particularly unhappy. Whether due to Mom's and Dad's days or summertime & custody scheduling, the WHO debacle, or all of them combined, something seems to be "in the air". SO many of the parents are just handing over their…
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