The Worst Week Yet: November 17-23, 2024
Manage episode 451914260 series 3493546
Trump’s Cabinet Picks: “A Thousand Shades of White”?
While speaking on MSNBC last week, Washington Post columnist and desiccated lump of uncooked bagel dough Jennifer Rubin bemoaned the unbearable whiteness of Donald Trump’s nominees and appointees so far. “First, I have to comment, when you put up all of those faces it was a thousand shades of white. Have you noticed that?”
Oh, suddenly we’re supposed to notice? I’ve noticed Jennifer Rubin’s physiognomy, whiny voice, and surname. Am I allowed to notice that?
Last Tuesday, the Right Reverend Al Sharpton cyber-queefed a press release on his National Action Network website blasting Donald Trump’s failure so far to appoint a single Black [sic] person to a cabinet or high-level administration position:
In the two weeks since Donald Trump was elected to a second term, he has put forth a dozen troubling nominees, yet the most alarming factor in his proposed cabinet is that not a single candidate is Black [sic] ….Trump spent this campaign selling himself to Black [sic] voters, especially men, by peddling sneakers and implying his criminal convictions would resonate with our community. Right now, it appears that the self-proclaimed ‘best president for Black [sic] America since Abraham Lincoln’ has lost interest in us. The president-elect needs to put his money where his mouth is if he actually wants to deliver for Black [sic] America.
The week before last, Newsweek ran a scare article titled “Donald Trump’s Cabinet Is on Track To Be the Least Diverse This Century”:
Of the 15 different departments, Trump has appointed six new heads, and five of those so far have been white and four of those have been men. Senator Mark [sic] Rubio is currently the exception as he would be the first Latino Secretary of State.
Of the other Cabinet-level positions, another five have been appointed, four of which are white, with the exception being Tulsi Gabbard, who was the first American-Samoan and Hindu member of Congress.
This means that out of the 25 positions in Trump’s wider Cabinet, of the 11 he’s already chosen, nine are white. His vice president JD Vance is also white.
Stop! If it gets any whiter, I’ll go snowblind!
Audio version: To listen in a player, use the one below or click here. To download the mp3, right-click here and choose “save link/target as.”
https://counter-currents.com/wp-content/uploads/audio-articles/wwy199.m4aBefore we all sink into semantic quicksand, there are only 15 high-level Cabinet positions—one representing each of the executive departments—another 10 or so “Cabinet-level” positions, and then all manner of appointees, selections, and even made-up gigs that don’t need Senate confirmation.
“Let’s disapprovingly count the white males surrounding President Trump” is a mainstream press tradition that harkens back to early 2017, when The New York Times lamented that “Trump’s Cabinet So Far Is More White and Male Than Any First Cabinet Since Reagan’s.”
In a burst of manic energy as last week drew to a close, Trump made a “flurry” of new picks. That’s the precise word a suspicious number of websites used—a flurry. Here a flurry. There a flurry. Everywhere a flurry, flurry, flurry, flurry, flurry. I hesitate to get pedantic, but I think that many flurries would technically qualify as a “blizzard.” Or even an “avalanche.”
As of Saturday, after nominating Brooke Rollins as Secretary of Agriculture, Trump had completed his picks for the official 15 Cabinet positions. Realizing the near impossibility of 100% accuracy, I will do my best to compile a racial and gender breakdown of Trump’s choices so far.
Most of his picks were American-born, so when I refer to them as “Jordanian” or a “Chinaman,” I mean their ancestry.
I’ve tried to screen candidates for Jewishness, but it’s not so easy. As we all know, Jews are an exceedingly sneaky race. I’m making most of these determinations based on phenotype what I could find in Wikipedia’s “Early life” section. If I’m wrong, I’m supremely confident that certain commenters will rush to correct me.
These are Trump’s fifteen top-level Cabinet picks. All will require Senate confirmation:
- Secretary of State: Marco Rubio—Hispanic man. Untrustworthy. Short. Prone to slashing your tires and stealing your hubcaps.
- Secretary of the Treasury: Scott Bessent, possible white man. Former Soros associate who’s rumored to be gay. Could be Jewish.
- Secretary of Defense: Pete Hegseth, macho white man and former Fox News host who’s already been excoriated for his “extremist” tattoos.
- Attorney General: Pam Bondi, blonde white woman and objectively better-looking than Matt Gaetz, who withdrew from consideration last week.
- Secretary of the Interior: Doug Burgum, homespun white man from the heartland.
- Secretary of Agriculture: Brooke Rollins, white woman who appears to have gone “under the knife” more than once.
- Secretary of Commerce: Howard Lutnick, unmistakably Jewish man who has never to my knowledge officially apologized for it.
- Secretary of Labor: Lori Chavez-DeRemer, corn-fed Hispanic woman.
- Secretary of Health & Human Services: Robert F. Kennedy Jr., white man and endless source of my personal amusement.
- Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Scott Turner, black man—wait, who the hell let him in here?
- Secretary of Transportation: Sean Duffy, white man who, like Trump, is a former reality-TV star.
- Secretary of Energy: Chris Wright, white man, although he doesn’t seem so energetic in that photo.
- Secretary of Education: Linda McMahon, white woman married to WWE impresario Vince McMahon.
- Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Doug Collins, white man—maybe. His name suggests he’s white, but I’m not so sure about the picture.
- Secretary of Homeland Security: Kristi Noem, white woman and self-confessed dog-slayer.
Here are other Trump picks so far—or at least as many as I could dredge up on deadline:
- White House Chief of Staff: Susie Wiles, white woman who’s rumored to be ruthless.
- CIA Director: John Ratcliffe, white man, or so it seems.
- Director of National Intelligence: Tulsi Gabbard, Samoan/European hybrid woman. Her mother was apparently a purebred white, and her dad was part European and part Samoan. Could easily pass for Italian. Doesn’t look so white in a pure-white pants suit, but I’m not going to quibble. We’ll use the one-drop rule here. Hindu. Former Democrat.
- National Security Adviser: Michael Waltz, former Green Beret whose middle names are “George” and “Glen.” Undeniably white. I don’t even need to see a DNA test.
- Medicare and Medicaid Services Administrator: Mehmet Oz, Turkish man with dual American/Turkish citizenship and former TV star.
- Surgeon General: Janette Nesheiwat, Jordanian woman.
- Office of Management and Budget Director: Russell Vought, beaver-toothed, beady-eyed white man.
- N. Ambassador: Elise Stefanik, white woman.
- “Border Czar”: Tom Homan, white man who should patrol the border dressed as a medieval executioner.
- Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE):
Elon Musk (richest person on the planet and probably the most influential white man in getting Trump’s reelected) and Vivek Ramaswamy (Indian fella who says the USA is having a “national identity crisis” and seems under the impression that an Indian man will solve it). - Deputy Chief of Staff: Dan Scavino, white man—if Italians count.
- White House Communications Director: Steven Cheung, Chinaman with bad eyesight and a weight problem.
- White House Press Secretary: Karoline Leavitt, blonde white woman but suspected Jewess.
- White House Counsel: William McGinley, white man.
- NATO Ambassador: Matthew Whitaker, white man.
- EPA Administrator: Lee Zeldin, Jewish man and friend of Bibi.
- Solicitor General: Dean John Sauer, white man.
- FDA Commissioner: Marty Makary, Lebanese man.
- CDC Director: David Weldon, white man.
- FCC Chairman: Brendan Carr, suspected Jewish man.
- Deputy Attorney General: Todd Blanche, white man with a thousand-yard stare.
- S. Ambassador to Israel: Mike Huckabee, white man who looks more Jewish ever since he grew a beard.
- S. Ambassador to Canada: Pete Hoekstra, white man born in the Netherlands.
- S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York: Jay Clayton, blue-eyed white man.
- Deputy National Security Adviser: Alex Wong, Chinaman.
- Deputy Chief of Staff/ Homeland Security Adviser: Stephen Miller—don’t let the whitebread name fool you. Just look at him. Confirmed Jew. Sorry—bar mitzvahed.
- Deputy Chief of Staff for Legislative, Political & Public Affairs: James Blair, white man.
- Deputy Chief of Staff for Communications & Personnel: Taylor Budowich, white man with Serbian surname.
- Senior Director for Counterterrorism: Sebastian Gorka, British-born white man.
So that’s 43 picks. I’m sure I missed some people. I’m certain I misclassified others.
Let’s run the numbers.
Only ten of the forty-three are women. That’s encouraging. Thirty-three are men. Even more encouraging. Unless they’re hiding their “gender identity,” there are zero transgenders. Most encouraging of all.
Only one Indian. Surprising.
Two Hispanics in the whole bunch. Interesting.
Two Chinamen. That’s plenty.
One Samoan woman who, if only you’ll listen to me, has more European than Samoan blood coursing through her veins. But you won’t listen to me.
Three non-Jewish Middle Easterners—a Turk, a Lebbo, and a Jordanian.
Three verified Jews and four suspected Jews. Being that this is Trump and these are modern Republicans, though, I’ll assume we have 43 Zionists.
And finally, ONLY ONE BLACK! Did you hear me? Even better, NO BLACK WOMEN. Have we all died and gone to heaven? Al Sharpton spoke too soon last Tuesday—he said Trump hadn’t appointed a “single” black. Although Scott Turner has a wife and isn’t “single” in the “relationship status” sense, he counts as “one” black. A sole black. A solitary black. Isn’t that enough?
Adding up the lone Indian, dos Hispanics, two Chinamen, one Samoan, three Middle Easterners, three verified Jews, and the single black—I still can’t get over that Trump was audacious enough only to appoint one, and in the stereotypical role of HUD Secretary, AKA Slumlord Millionaire—that’s thirteen nonwhites out of 43 picks. Non-Hispanic whites comprise about 70% of the total.
As of 2023, non-Hispanic whites accounted for only about 58% of the American public. So at 70%, Trump’s picks are even whiter than the general public is.
It’s definitely not “a thousand shades of white.” More like “a whiter shade of beige.”
But how cool is that?
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