Overcoming People-Pleasing and Setting Boundaries with Amy Green Smith

Feminist Founders: Building People-First (and Profitable!) Businesses

In this episode of Feminist Founders, Becky Mollenkamp sits down with personal empowerment coach Amy Green Smith to discuss the pervasive issues of people-pleasing, fear, and assertive communication in both business and personal life. Amy, an expert in emotional intelligence and leadership, breaks down the difference between feeling "not enough" and believing it, and how this impacts our boundaries and vulnerability in the workplace. Together, they tackle the critical conversation about how women, especially those with marginalized identities, can break free from the trauma response of people-pleasing and reclaim their voice.

Amy shares valuable insights into overcoming fear and stepping into assertive communication without crossing the line into aggression. This empowering conversation is full of practical advice for anyone struggling with boundaries in professional relationships, self-worth, and the ever-present challenges of balancing vulnerability and strength in the workplace.

Amy Green Smith (she/her) is a certified and credentialed life coach and hypnotherapist, masterful speaker, and personal empowerment expert. Amy uses her roles as coach, writer, podcaster, and speaker to move individuals to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-worth. With acute focus on helping people “find their voice”, she is highly sought after for her uncommon style of irreverence, wisdom, and humor and has been a featured expert in Inspired Coach Magazine and on Fox 5 San Diego.

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Discussed in this episode:

• Self-Worth and Language: Understanding the difference between feeling "not enough" and believing it, and how language shapes our perception of self-worth.
• People-Pleasing and Boundaries: Practical strategies for stopping people-pleasing and setting healthy boundaries in both personal and professional environments.
• Overcoming Fear: Embracing a "fear-optimized" mindset, allowing fear to coexist with action rather than waiting for the fear to disappear.
• Assertive Communication vs. Aggression: How to communicate assertively without being aggressive, and why vulnerability is a powerful tool in the workplace.
• People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response: Exploring the roots of people-pleasing as a trauma response, especially in marginalized identities, and how it often stems from self-preservation.
• Social Media and Mental Health: Discussing the impact of social media on mental health, particularly in contributing to feelings of inadequacy and "not enoughness."
• Emotional Intelligence and Leadership: Cultivating emotional intelligence and leadership skills as a feminist entrepreneur to lead with empathy, assertiveness, and authenticity.

Resources mentioned:

• Bold-Faced Truth podcast
• Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk, “Your body language may shape who you are”
• “You Are Your Best Thing” by Tarana Burke and Brené Brown
• Dr. Tee Williams Foundations of Social Justice program
• Speak Up for Yourself Without Being a Dick
• Planned Parenthood
• ActBlue
• “Atlas of the Heart” by Brené Brown