Footballland Very Best Rides Of 2021!

Footballland

Happy Nearly New Year!

It's been a hectic year at Footballland HQ. We're so close to opening the world's first football theme park in time for the world cup 2022 in 2022 in Qatar in 2022, and we couldn't have done it without your help. Your ride ideas, your jingles, your many car parks have been invaluable, so a massive thank you for your support.

In time honoured tradition, we've cobbled together a year-end best of Footballland. Three rides that in our opinion are the absolute bees knees, and CERTAIN to bring punters through the gates. They are:

Jurgen Klopp's Clip Clop Trots

Finally, it's something for the children. Anthony was keen to bring competitive donkey racing to the under 5s market as he proudly unveiled the world's first gegenpressing mules. These donkeys have been injected with steroids to ensure top speeds of 40mph. But be warned, their bowels will be loose!

The Professor Stephen Hawking Vanishing-Spray-Cherry-On-The-Bell-End-Overlapping-Full-Backs Car Ride

It's fair to say that Mark's design to recreate the speed of a modern day fullback evolved somewhat during the pitching process. What began as an old-fashioned dodgems ride ended with the rider naked, covered in their own sick with a glace cherry adorning the end of their penis.

Poppy Hillstead's Teddy Sheringham Blimp

We had so many great guests this year, but what edged it for us was Poppy Hillstead's drawings of a 300 foot long inflatable Teddy Sheringham suspended above Footballland. There is so much to see and do inside Teddy. You can eat pizza in his stomach, having recovered from hypothermia in the unnecessarily cold lazy river. You can see framed pictures from wikipedia of his ex-girlfriends, and then you can 'just f*ck off out the mouth.' The result is a triumph of architecture and a sure-fire hit for football fans everywhere.

We'll see you in 2022 as we put the finishing touches to Footballland. Thank you once again for your support and love. We're kissing you through the screen right now.

All the very best,

Anthony, Mark and Ryan

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