S02 E11 | The Cristiano Ronaldo Rocket

Footballland

This week on Footballland we're sending Cristiano Ronaldo into space and never bringing him back, we're setting up a creche overseen by Brian Kidd and 92 goats, and we're building a massive bouncy castle in the shape of St James' Park where YOU TOO can be washed by former Newcastle legends Les Ferdinand and Warren Barton! Who wouldn't want to be lathered up by a Toon great?

The Ronaldo Rocket

Cristiano Ronaldo loves that ridiculous Siiiiiiiuuu celebration, doesn't he? But the trouble is, he always lands on the ground afterwards. A not exactly impressive loyalty to gravity by the second greatest footballer in the world. So what if we nicked Jeff Bezos's rocket, chucked Ronaldo inside it after scoring a tap in, and gave him the ultimate Siiiu celebration?

Brian Kidd's Kids

Ryan brings us his vision of a creche manned by 92 goats, all with slightly different accents. Each goat will be responsible for ONE child, so you can leave your little ones to enjoy the park without your youngest spoiling the day. But NEVER acknowledge Brian Kidd's success at running a successful creche, you hear us? JUST DON'T DO IT.

Bouncy Newcastle Hypnotising Sports Wash

You know what the trouble is with taking over a Premier League football club to soften your nation's human rights image? Only fans of that club go along with the plan. There's way too much complaining from rival sets of fans. It's almost as if those fans need to be.... hypnotised?

So, there's your three rides this week. Now it's your turn to get involved! Send us your ride ideas and we'll feature them all!

With love from

Anthony Richardson - CEO

Mark Davison - Chief Ride Engineer

Ryan Baxter - Still intern

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