Ep 75 - New Love Languages
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Episode 75: New Love Languages
Welcome to Operation: Thriving Marriage! In this episode, we’re diving into the concept of love languages—one of the most helpful tools for building strong, loving relationships. While Dr. Gary Chapman’s original five love languages have impacted countless marriages, new research shows they might not cover everyone’s unique ways of expressing and receiving love. We’re exploring the two new love languages introduced by eHarmony—Shared Experiences and Emotional Security—and how they can deepen your connection with your spouse.
Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages revolutionized how couples communicate love. His framework includes:
1.Words of Affirmation
2.Quality Time
3.Receiving Gifts
4.Acts of Service
5.Physical Touch
These categories have helped millions of people understand themselves and their partners better. But what happens if you don’t fully resonate with any of these?
The Problem: A Missing Connection
Many couples feel frustrated when they can’t identify with one of the five love languages.
•Some struggle to communicate their love language to their spouse.
•Others feel unsure how to express love because their spouse can’t articulate what they need.
•Love languages may even feel like a moving target over time.
So, what’s the solution?
Expanding Love Languages: Two New Additions
eHarmony’s research revealed that nearly half of respondents feel the five love languages aren’t enough. They introduced two new categories to reflect modern relationships better:
1. Shared Experiences
•What It Means: Shared Experiences go beyond spending quality time. This love language is about creating adventures and memorable moments together.
•Signs This Might Be Your Love Language:
•You love planning trips, activities, or weekends with your spouse.
•You seek out new experiences to share together.
•Staying in for date night feels less fulfilling than going out for something exciting.
•Your most cherished memories are the adventures you’ve had together.
•You’re drawn to adventurous, open-minded people.
2. Emotional Security
•What It Means: Emotional Security focuses on feeling safe, seen, and cared for in a relationship.
•Signs This Might Be Your Love Language:
•You enjoy deep, meaningful conversations.
•You often ask questions to understand your spouse’s emotions.
•Friends turn to you because they feel emotionally safe.
•You value vulnerability and feel connected when your partner shares their feelings.
What if You Can’t Identify a Love Language?
It’s okay if you don’t fit neatly into one category! The key is to communicate openly about what makes you feel loved. Instead of focusing on labels, ask yourself:
•When have I felt especially loved?
•What was happening? Where were you, and who were you with?
•What were others doing to make you feel loved?
Reflecting on these moments—even those involving family and friends—can help you better articulate your needs to your spouse.
Love Languages Can Change
Recent studies show that love languages aren’t static:
•26% of people have changed how they express love in the past year.
•25% have changed how they prefer to receive love.
As life evolves, so do our needs. Regularly check in with your spouse to see how their love language might have shifted.
Conclusion: Love Beyond Labels
Love languages are tools, not rules. What matters most is understanding how to best communicate love in your marriage. God designed us to experience and express love—not just in our relationships with Him, but also in our earthly connections. In marriage, this love is most deeply realized.
Whether it’s through shared experiences, emotional security, or another love language, spend your life discovering new ways to love your spouse more fully. After all, the greatest joy in marriage is striving to outdo each other in expressing love.
Thank you for tuning into Operation: Thriving Marriage! Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review. Let’s keep thriving together!
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