The "I Wonder" Blunder: Avoid Directive Questioning and Master "I Wonder" Statements and Whispers in Child-Centered Play Therapy

Play Therapy Podcast

In this episode, I dive into the proper use of "I wonder" statements and the whisper technique in child-centered play therapy. I've noticed these skills are sometimes being misused or overused, so I wanted to provide some clarification.

I discuss how "I wonder" statements should be used sparingly and only when clinically necessary to gather information to facilitate play. Using them too frequently to get a child to discuss feelings, plans, or reasoning behind behaviors can become directive rather than child-centered. The statements work best when playing a role the child has assigned and more details are needed.

I also explain how the whisper technique allows therapists to conspiratorially check in with a child during play to see how to respond while still honoring the child's lead. Whispering masks questions to keep a child emotionally engaged in the play.

My goal is to help play therapists understand the originally intended purpose of these techniques so they can apply them skillfully to benefit their child clients. I'm hopeful these guidelines prove useful for informing your practice as a play therapist.

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References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.