Embracing Authenticity: The Key to Immediate DEI Progress

Talent Report+THRIVE

Description: Join us as we explore the transformative power of authenticity and immediate action in the realm of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) with leader, speaker, and author, Jess Pettitt. In this thought-provoking episode, we delve into the “Good Enough Now” philosophy, its impact on personal growth, and its potential to create positive change in companies, relationships, and communities.

Resources:

MRA's DEI Toolkit

Jess's Website

Jess's Book - Good Enough Now

If you are interested in a complimentary copy of Jess Pettitt’s eBook, Good Enough Now, please email [e-mail] to get your code and details on how to download the book for free. There are a limited number of codes so don’t delay!

MRA Membership

About MRA

Let's Connect:

Meet the Guest - Jess Pettitt

Guest LinkedIn Profile - Jess Pettitt

Host Bio - Sophie Boler

Host LinkedIn Profile - Sophie Boler

Transcript:

Transcripts are computer generated -- not 100% accurate word-for-word.

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:21:03
Unknown
Hello everybody and welcome to 30 minute Thrive, your go to podcast for anything and everything HR powered by MRA, the Management Association. Looking to stay on top of the ever changing world of HR? MRA has got you covered. We'll be the first to tell you what's hot and what's not. I'm your host, Sophie Boler, and we are so glad you're here.

00:00:21:05 - 00:00:51:05
Unknown
Now it's time to thrive. Well, hello everybody, and welcome to this episode of 30 Minute THRIVE Thank you for joining us today. I am so excited for our conversation today because you get to hear from a very talented and experienced individual. Jess Pettit suggests a top facilitator and educator in the diversity and inclusion space. She spent the last 20 years teaching, motivating and entertaining more than half a million people just in North America alone.

00:00:51:07 - 00:01:17:16
Unknown
And speaking of that, Jess is actually one of our keynote speakers at MRA's 2023 DEI conference this year. So, Jess, I know your main goal is to kind of start that conversation while also ensuring that people feel at ease and really feel safe to learn and ask these questions. And I. So for our episode today specifically, we're kind of going to delve into the world of good enough now.

00:01:17:16 - 00:01:42:10
Unknown
And that philosophy and really its impact on personal growth, its potential to create positive change in companies, relationships and communities. So before we dive into that topic, I'm really kind of curious to know just what got you started on your DEI journey. Well, first off, thank you for having me and what I get asked quite often like what got you started?

00:01:42:10 - 00:02:05:17
Unknown
And there's kind of two answers at the same time. The quickie answers are, number one. I was lucky enough to grow up in Texas with parents that were very curious. So any time I would ask a question, I was sent to the library to go find out all the different kinds of answers and then did presentations to my family on the fireplace about whatever it was.

00:02:05:19 - 00:02:31:09
Unknown
So I think most of the questions I asked seemed to be kind of around what I think collectively we would refer to as the underdog or hypocrisy or things that just didn't make sense. And I wasn't raised in an environment where like, Nope, this is it. Don't ask any more questions. So I think that is a significant part of my curiosity.

00:02:31:11 - 00:02:55:13
Unknown
I think the other part is, is that when I had real jobs, I often was advocating. I worked, as I called an administrator. My first masters is in higher education Administration with an emphasis in crisis management. So I worked on college campuses, advocate ing for underrepresented students, and how the college or the university could better serve its surrounding community.

00:02:55:15 - 00:03:22:18
Unknown
And in doing that would often point out what the university was doing to impact the community in a negative way or how they were under serving students. So I would get fired, go to another one, get another job, get fired so I kept getting fired. And eventually I know it's in our conference, but high HR, I spent a lot of time with you, but mostly I got fired because I was advocating for something that the university didn't want to do differently.

00:03:22:20 - 00:03:51:19
Unknown
Spoiler alert. I would say that in my younger years, I didn't understand managing up and maybe would use like a different font in how I advocated, but I would do it all over again because I have just always attempted to advocate for those that didn't have a voice at the table. So here we are. Yeah, I love that and I love that you stayed curious and that's kind of helped you with your DD journey, and that's a big difference.

00:03:51:21 - 00:04:14:23
Unknown
So just we mentioned that you're also the closing keynote speaker at our DEI conference this year, and your session is titled Good Enough Now. So can you kind of explain what is good enough now? Can you kind of share your thoughts on waiting to change versus taking that immediate action to kind of be the best version of ourselves?

00:04:15:00 - 00:04:43:13
Unknown
Absolutely. I think that I should probably full disclosure, I'm a Virgo and a really anal retentive person, which means that I have perfectionist tendencies. Definitely have experienced some imposter syndrome in my life. And as I was listening to my audiences, to be frank, I was kind of burning out on talking about vocabulary and approaching diversity and kind of this way, old way, that I used to do it.

00:04:43:15 - 00:05:13:08
Unknown
And I was burning out because I wasn't noticing a lot of progress. And then being a perfectionist, if you can't solve this problem, then it's very un motivating. And in my kind of sinking burnout stage, I started listening to my audiences in a different way and I kept finding them coming up with a reason or an excuse to not engage in a conversation or to not truly go and start something or do something.

00:05:13:08 - 00:05:36:19
Unknown
Or they wanted to. There was a want there, but they they couldn't like just go because they didn't feel adequately prepared. They were waiting for all the correct variables to be in place. And I realized that kind of the intersection of what I would call my burnout because of perfectionism, there was this You need to do it anyway.

00:05:36:21 - 00:06:06:12
Unknown
And if we're waiting to solve this problem, wouldn't you think somebody amazing ahead of us would have already solved it? And the I think it's an excuse is to wait until you have it perfect, because we feel entitled to the success or feel entitled to winning. So when I kind of noticed this as my own cure to keep me in this work, I realized in my kind of mantra is, do the best you can with what you've got.

00:06:06:14 - 00:06:36:16
Unknown
Some of the time, frankly, because it's better than nothing. Never. And obviously, this does not apply to, like, surgery or things where accuracy is really important. So talking about advocating for someone trying can be frankly, trying. It can be exhausting. But when you don't know how to start trying, what you end up doing is you start trying to try and ultimately trying to try is good enough place to start, right?

00:06:36:18 - 00:06:59:14
Unknown
I feel like it's all about kind of just taking that first step. And I know a lot of perfectionists out there who probably appreciate this, this kind of concept, but how do you personally relate to the concept of feeling that imbalance between who you are and kind of like what you mentioned, who you think you should be, where you think you should be in the context of DIY?

00:06:59:22 - 00:07:20:15
Unknown
I think what's at the root of diversity, equity and inclusion is either kind of those of you not watching the video have two hands up, right? So one of them is recognizing all of the pain and suffering that you have experienced in your life, has made you who and how you are in the world. And that is a really important thing to acknowledge.

00:07:20:17 - 00:07:47:17
Unknown
There are also a lot of privileges that have made you who and how you are. And most of us kind of enter this advocacy or DIY work because of our resilience or our survival, which includes like code switching at work, doing things that you need to do to hide certain parts of you or cover certain lived experiences or identities, you have to navigate the workplace.

00:07:47:19 - 00:08:27:01
Unknown
I totally get that. I understand from my subordinated or marginalized identities, the organization that I've done to stay alive or to thrive is very personal to me. I totally get that. However, if we were to enter from our privileged identities, there's no risk. It's not about thriving. It's about just trying to do the right thing. So I try to really inspire her, myself and others to enter these conversations from their dominant or privileged identities, because that's the place where we have all the tools and the resources to actually do something, even if we can't do it perfectly.

00:08:27:03 - 00:08:50:19
Unknown
And we might not actually notice when we're doing the right thing because it's the right thing in the right way, regardless of how our life has taught us how to be. I try to role model that I tried in my book. I try to like create a pathway for people to gain their own self-awareness of what it is they could be doing and encourage people to try to do just that.

00:08:50:21 - 00:09:39:05
Unknown
Absolutely. Or I feel like sometimes taking these steps may kind of produce some challenges. So what are some kind of common challenges that you've seen people face when striving for better relationships, bettering themselves, fulfillment, stronger teamwork in the realm of DEI? I mean, I think the answer is in good enough, people don't feel good enough, and also at times have experienced what it does feel like to be good enough and that they're actually the same feeling, right, is like, I'm kind of sucks, but I guess I can give this a whirl of even if it's something outside of a DEI context, you're driving around and you get a flat tire.

00:09:39:07 - 00:09:58:24
Unknown
I don't know about you, but I don't consider myself a flat tire handler expert. Right. So then there's this kind of incompetence moment where you're like, I don't wait, what do I do? And then, like, every tick tock you've ever seen comes, like, flashing back to you, and all of a sudden you're, like, lug nuts. That's a word I haven't used in forever.

00:09:59:13 - 00:10:19:07
Unknown
lug nuts. I need one of them sticky things to get the lug nuts off while you're fumbling around in the trunk of your car looking for the. Is it a crowbar? Is it a jack? I don't know. The key things that you do, the lug nut twisty bit This, like a little kernel of information, comes where you're like, Do it in a star.

00:10:19:09 - 00:10:43:02
Unknown
Where did that come from? I don't know, But you undo it in a start. Now, all of a sudden, you know, this. That methodology, you're. It's okay. It's good enough information at the time because you're in a pickle. You got a flat tire. You got to figure it out. When we start interacting with other people, even when we call it DIY work, most of us think we're only doing DEI work at work.

00:10:43:04 - 00:11:10:07
Unknown
So then we clock out of work and we're at a grocery store. We're not employing those same skills. And what I'm here to talk about is not new skill development, but it's really recognizing when you choose not to use them, right? I mean, you do choose to use them because it's good enough to try. The other thing I would say is this is a little bit more of a longer answer, but often when we think of challenges, we think of challenges outside of ourself.

00:11:10:09 - 00:11:34:17
Unknown
And my challenge to everyone is to think of the challenges inside yourself. And when you are most challenged or most confronted, how are you showing up and how do you expect other people to show up? And you can actually adjust how you show up instead of waiting for other people to show up differently? So this is the I'll talk about this in the keynote.

00:11:34:17 - 00:11:57:15
Unknown
This is the head heart action model. And once you can figure out kind of where you lean particular lean when you're challenged or feeling confronted or trying to decide to use the skills you currently have or to like take them off ramp, it'll be really helpful for you to know that I believe our lives have taught us who and how to be, and there's nothing wrong with that.

00:11:57:20 - 00:12:32:05
Unknown
We just we're responsible for this kind of like net zero of how we begin a conversation. So we've got a lot of self-reflection to do after this podcast. It seems like hopefully. Well, you've kind of embraced and highlighted just kind of being your authentic self and how contributing that authenticity really kind of helps the effort. So in your experience, how does the authentic self contribute to these efforts and initiatives?

00:12:32:07 - 00:12:57:17
Unknown
It's your base level foundation. I think everyone in this maybe this goes back to even perfectionism, but I think everyone knows how they are supposed to ought to be right. Like you're supposed to show up this particular way, but you're you're responsible for knowing how you're actually showing up and then citing taking ownership of the gap between the two.

00:12:57:19 - 00:13:26:24
Unknown
And do you want to be showing up in a different way or do you not want to? Like we often talk about and I call this an Instagram fight, but of giving grace to other people. And we don't necessarily know what that means, but we also don't even give grace to our self. And so but I think giving grace means is that person, whoever you're thinking of that's annoying their life taught them that that's the way to show up.

00:13:27:01 - 00:13:49:11
Unknown
Similarly, your life taught you that this is the way to show up. Neither one guarantees that you're accurate or correct, but you did learn this in your life. And do you want to keep that learning or do you need to upgrade? That's great. So we've talked a lot of it, just a lot about the good enough now philosophy.

00:13:49:14 - 00:14:17:17
Unknown
But do you have any examples or just any real life stories on how individuals or organizations have applied this philosophy to enhance their DEI initiatives or existing strategy? A little bit. I think that I'm working on a new book right now, and I have a case study sampling that y'all are welcome to download. Look, give me feedback, give me your ideas, etc..

00:14:17:19 - 00:14:39:16
Unknown
But I think what's interesting is, is there's not a lot of room for failure. And if there is failure, we want to fix it as quickly as possible. But I think failure is a way of looking at a step in the right direction that didn't quite make it right. And so my new book is called Almost or It's Almost finished.

00:14:39:18 - 00:15:06:01
Unknown
But it takes the Good Enough Now principles and applies it to an organization instead of your own individual sense of life or decision making. But on an organizational level, I track 56 different case studies of my own clients where something was attempted and it didn't quite work. And my premise is that it didn't quite work because it didn't use the full model.

00:15:06:01 - 00:15:32:06
Unknown
It only kind of enters in one place. The tagline is when the answers need to ask more questions and there's a lot of quote unquote best practices within DEI that are not necessarily successful, but it's kind of what everybody does. And so what else could we do to flush out one of these initiatives or programing ideas or response ideas or diversity statements or whatever?

00:15:32:08 - 00:15:54:13
Unknown
Can we flush it out in a way that's paying attention in this three sided model so that it's set up for success instead of just being a reactionary response? And I find that to be probably the most debilitating thing that I work with, with organizations when I do consulting work is back in 1984, they tried something and it didn't work.

00:15:54:15 - 00:16:26:06
Unknown
And so then we're done. We just don't. We already did it. Or maybe they did something and it didn't work that one time. But there's still pain and suffering happening. And if we're talking about diversity, equity, inclusion, and we keep adding more letters, now we're adding belonging. The reason why we have to add more letters is it's not working because we haven't actually dismantled the systems inside of our workplaces to actually include everyone who is there, everyone we serve along our entire value chain.

00:16:26:08 - 00:16:46:14
Unknown
And in order for those people to really weigh in to part of the office culture, they have to buy in. And in order to buy in, they have to feel like they belong and are valued. And that's the real work we need to be doing. Well, I'm looking forward to that book almost. And that'll be interesting to read those case studies, too.

00:16:46:14 - 00:17:12:10
Unknown
And we've included dresses, a number where you can text, ask any questions, give her feedback, and also her contact information. So do you want to get in touch with her about that book? We've got the resources for you. But kind of talking about this whole belonging, how does self-acceptance play into the whole journey of being the best version of oneself in the context of DEI?

00:17:12:12 - 00:17:39:01
Unknown
It's a really tricky question, but it mostly resides in internal responsibility. And there is nobody who isn't a hot mess, right? And often when we engage in these conversations, we want to point fingers at somebody else who is a bigger hot mess than somebody else. But this is a weird suspension of gravity, not gravity. Don't suspend gravity. Suspension of grammar.

00:17:39:01 - 00:18:17:06
Unknown
What's so close? It's so close. But if, like, I'm pointing my finger at you because I think you are a mess, I'm somebody else's mess. Right. Somebody looks at me and is like, I don't know what is wrong with her, but if she'd clean up her act, then it would be much better. So if I actually were to do that and to become more self-aware, to be responsible for myself and quote unquote, clean up my act, whatever that means, I'm role modeling for other people how to do it, and forcing other people to realize that I've become more responsible for my behavior, not just when I'm at work, but when I am in a

00:18:17:06 - 00:18:38:08
Unknown
car wreck or at the grocery store or talking to a stranger at some festival. I'm still responsible for everything I do, everything I say, and who and how I am when I show up. Yeah, that's a good point that these these ideas and these philosophies, they don't only apply when you're at work, they should apply all the time.

00:18:38:10 - 00:19:01:18
Unknown
But so I think a lot of people are probably wondering, how can I improve immediately? And I know we always talk about the DEI journey, that it takes steps and sometimes it takes a lot of time in practice. But do you have any ideas on what can individuals take away right now that they can start making those positive changes kind of immediately in the DEI space?

00:19:01:20 - 00:19:28:16
Unknown
Sure. So two answers again. So the first one is stop looking for the finish line. So like a lot of us think that once we get a certificate or enough different friends or have updated our vocabulary enough, we are then done. That's not how this works, right? This is a forever and always thing. So the the progress, is it becoming more natural and being able to think about what are your responses right.

00:19:28:16 - 00:19:51:22
Unknown
Like there's a gap between your knee jerk reaction or response and the actual response. And that moment in between is where responsibility and reflection come in. So that's when you're actually working. It is when you take time for that little second response instead of just your knee jerk reaction that's actually making progress, but it doesn't get you somewhere.

00:19:52:02 - 00:20:16:17
Unknown
It helps you decide where you're going to get. So that's the first thing I would say. The other thing I would say is one of the links that you have is to a survey. And the survey will help you identify how you right now are showing up across difference or in conflict. And it's either going to be very detail oriented, very idea oriented, or I don't have time for any of that business.

00:20:16:17 - 00:20:38:18
Unknown
I just want to do something. And when you figure out how it is, you're showing up and you get a little bit more used to or comfortable with your own showing up habits, then it's a lot easier for you to adjust how you're showing up based on how other people showing up habits are happening. Those are the two immediate things let go of winning or finishing.

00:20:38:20 - 00:21:09:14
Unknown
And how are you right now? Because that's your responsibility kind of part two of this question. And I would just add, if you have anything to add on this. Any strategies or just basic practices that our listeners can adopt to align their personal growth with their DEI goals and values? The hardest one, and I'll talk very specifically about this in my keynote as well, but the hardest one is what I would call the 100% responsibility.

00:21:09:16 - 00:21:32:22
Unknown
I do not recommend trying to do this 100% of the time because it is exhausting. But notice when you're not doing it and when it's easier to do it. And what I mean is, is that before you say something, email, text, whatever, can you prepare yourself to be 100% responsible for whatever it is that's about to occur? Once you say text, send the thing.

00:21:32:24 - 00:21:55:09
Unknown
And a lot of people will say like, I'm only 50% responsible. But frankly, that's on marriage therapist type job security. And I'm going to ask you to take some time to be 100% responsible so that no matter what it is that comes back at you as anything, you're way less defensive about it because you had made a solid 100% responsible choice before doing something.

00:21:55:11 - 00:22:19:13
Unknown
Just try that every once in a while. Or like I like to say, do the best you can with what you've got. Some of the time it will be a life changing way of blending what you think is a diversity equity inclusion kind of mindset with your authentic self in every interaction you have with other people. That's a great mentality to have.

00:22:19:14 - 00:22:46:12
Unknown
I'm definitely going to try that out after this. Well, as we kind of wrap up here today, Jess, I know you've given a lot of great advice and actionable steps, but do you have any last kind of might drop moments on how leaders and listeners today can just take that take that step to create a more inclusive and equitable environment based on all the principles that you kind of listed out for us today.

00:22:46:14 - 00:23:10:04
Unknown
Honestly, the hardest thing for people to actually do, if I'm having a mic drop moment, is I double dog dare you to stay in touch. You would think that that'd be pretty easy. Like, she's accessible. I can text or any time I can, you know, connect with her on LinkedIn or whatever. But people don't do it because it's hard to hang in your own space.

00:23:10:06 - 00:23:38:07
Unknown
And what I would might drop a moment is who else is going to hang in your space if it's not you? So we have to stop looking at this as just something external to us and step into ourselves because no one else can do that. To do the best we can with what we've got. Some of the time, I mean, if you want to learn from other people's failures, notice external to you, read my studies, give me some feedback, see what your thoughts are.

00:23:38:13 - 00:24:03:10
Unknown
If you want to stay in touch, feel free to connect on LinkedIn or text me the numbers. 2026704262. But the truth is you won't. Maybe you'll connect with me on LinkedIn, but then that's it. And we don't hang in our own space. And if you happen to notice that you are in your own space, do the survey again.

00:24:03:12 - 00:24:23:14
Unknown
Go do the survey again and find out how in that moment, how are you showing up? Is there a pattern of who and how you are? And then what is that like for other people witnessing or interacting with you? You can take responsibility for that. And I'm here to help you along the way. So I double dog dare you stay in touch.

00:24:23:16 - 00:24:48:05
Unknown
Do my job. Right. Well, Jess, I want to thank you so much for being on the podcast today. And thank you for sharing all that great content. I can definitely walk away with a lot of great, impactful, actionable steps into our listeners. If you liked our chat and topic today, I would just urge you to comment something new you learned today or anything that you'd like to add on to our conversation.

00:24:48:07 - 00:25:09:03
Unknown
Don't forget to share out this episode. Consider joining MRA if you aren't a member already. We have all the resources you need in the show notes, all including resources about us in our topic today. Otherwise, thank you so much for tuning in today and thanks again, Jess. We will see you all next week. And that wraps up our content for this episode.

00:25:09:04 - 00:25:27:11
Unknown
Be sure to reference the show notes where you can sign up to connect. For more podcast updates, check out other MRA episodes on your favorite podcast platform. And as always, make sure to follow MRA's 30 minutes THRIVE so you don't miss out. Thanks for tuning in and we'll see you next Wednesday to carry on the conversation.