E. 29 - Vulnerability - Part 2: Why Do We Armor Up? How Can We Show Up Authentically and Find Communities Where We Belong?

That's So Deep

Hello So Deep Peeps!

Welcome to That’s So Deep. This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. Today we are talking about Vulnerability - Part 2: Why Do We Armor Up? How Can We Show Up Authentically and Find Communities Where We Belong? (based on work by Brene Brown).

Some deep things we cover:

1. Fitting In vs. Belonging: When you fit in, you change yourself to enter the community. When you belong, you show up as you are and are embraced by the community.
2. Vulnerability in Parenting vs. Authoritarian Parenting: Phyllis is experimenting with parenting by being a human next to her kids by being vulnerable with boundaries.
3. Phyllis wonders if the armor that she used as a child still serves her as an adult.
4. Masculine and Feminine Norms: According to Brene Brown, a shame trigger for masculine norms is weakness and for feminine norms it is imperfection.
5. How does perfection show up for Julie and Phyllis?
6. Phyllis discusses how insecurity causes her to armor up.
7. Julie discusses why she armors up when it comes to her partnership.
8. Self Talk: Do you engage in guilt talk or shame talk? Which one is better?
9. A Mantra to Combat Imperfection: Brene Brown uses this one and Phyllis has adopted it too: “I don’t want to be right. I wanna get it right.”
10. How do we create inclusive spaces so people can be a part of the conversation?

Take-aways:

1. What Armor Can We Do Away With That No Longer Serves Us?
2. Where Does Perfection Show Up in Our Lives?

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We love you and we can’t wait for our next deep conversation!

Yours in Becoming,

Phyllis & Julie

Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:

1. Vulnerable Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
2. Taken for Granted: Brené Brown on What Vulnerability Isn't (transcript) | TED
3. Brené Brown on What Vulnerability Isn't - Taken for Granted | Podcast on Spotify