48| Adam Smith - Healing the World Through Healing Your Attachment

The Dan Go Podcast

I have actually known today's guest for quite some time! Adam Lane Smith is a former psychologist turned attachment coach with a couple hundred thousand followers on TikTok and a strong following on Twitter, and he and I talk in this episode about, among other things, how attachments impact every single aspect of our lives.

Adam defines attachment as how we connect with other human beings and give love to and receive love from them. What is the difference between healthy attachment and unhealthy attachment, and how do we know when the attachment is unhealthy? What are the symptoms of unhealthy attachment, and how can we create secure, healthy attachment instead? Adam dives into all of these questions and also goes down a great rabbit hole explaining how World War I and World War II impacted generations to come and how we emotionally operate.

He also goes into so much more such as giving advice on how parents can foster secure attachments in their children, even in the event that both parents have to work 9-5 jobs and the children have to spend some time with sitters and/or daycare. I am so happy that Adam reached out and that we were able to do this, and I hope that you enjoy my conversation with him. If you do, then, if you aren't subscribed to the show already, please be sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast app! I would also really appreciate it if you would share the podcast with at least one other person you know who might also enjoy it and if you would leave me a five-star review! That really helps the show out!

Time Stamps

0:46 – Dan reveals that this episode's guest is Adam Lane Smith.

4:04 – Adam discusses his friendship with and respect for Dan.

5:04 – Adam begins to dive into a red pill circle discussion.

7:30 – Dan argues that red pill circles look at women as commodities rather than partners.

8:12 – We learn more about attachment and what it means.

10:58 – Adam makes an argument regarding the origin of unhealthy attachment.

13:07 – How we are treated as infants impacts our attachment behavior throughout life.

15:46 – Hear Dan reflect on how he relates to this topic.

17:45 – Adam lists some of the symptoms of unhealthy attachment.

20:50 – What can we do about unhealthy attachment problems?

22:48 – Adam touches upon why he retired his license as a therapist.

25:54 – Your brain will eventually remap your neural pathways.

26:48 – Adam explains how to manage anxiety.

30:17 – Adam describes his physical practices to improve himself.

32:22 – Learn about progressive muscle relaxation.

34:32 – Adam tells us why he went into teaching attachment therapy.

37:49 – Dan pivots the conversation toward PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

38:41 – Adam explains how World War I affected people's attachment issues.

41:54 – Adam moves forward on how World War II impacted humanity.

44:38 – Adam offers an explanation of what has led to consumerism and dopamine binging.

47:20 – Dan refers to previous guest Chris Lopez.

49:10 – Adam argues that we need to connect to two or three other people.

50:35 – What does secure attachment look like?

53:06 – Adam gives an example of secure attachment between his son and himself.

55:52 – Discover whether or not Adam's wife works.

57:52 – Adam makes a case for why the workforce is crashing right now.

59:49 – Adam addresses how parents who both need to work can foster healthy attachment.

1:01:49 – It's not possible for someone to be a completely perfect parent.

1:03:01 – Dan emphasizes the importance of transparency, communication, and honesty.

1:05:29 – How can high achievers achieve their goals while fostering secure attachment?

1:07:14 – The legacy that we should want to leave is human impact and love.

1:10:11 – Adam encourages us to decide on what we want our legacy to be.

1:12:07 – Adam reveals where he can be reached.

Resources

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