Unbeautiful

The Lifeatarian

Show Notes: Lifeatarian - Unbeautiful

​In this episode, Monique recounts a gruesome childhood experience that, quite literally, scarred her for life. She recalls her four-year-old self attending her first day of school, enthusiasm overflowing. Arriving home later that day, as Monique regaled her amazing time in class, she accidentally provoked Sparky, a Doberman her mother was watching for a friend. The next thing she knew, the dog had ripped off the entire right side of her face.

Needless to say, Monique was rushed to the hospital where, for the next several hours, she experienced nothing but gasps of horror from everyone who looked upon her mangled face. After what seemed like an endless period of waiting, her mother, a police officer, finally arrived. Monique later learned that her mother had shot Sparky right before departing for the hospital.

For the next two months, the hospital became Monique’s home. In preparation for the surgery, she had to attend school at the hospital in the morning with the other sick children. Her mother would bring Monique dinner every day and stay with her until her daughter fell asleep.

It took extensive reconstructive cosmetic surgery to repair the damage done by Sparky. Following this harrowing experience, Monique had to endure the cruelty of other children who threw all manner of insults at her new unbeautiful face. But she quickly came to realize that “the cutting words of other children could only hurt me if I allow them to.” Inside, she allowed a little voice to repeatedly assure her that she was beautiful in her own unique way.

Monique did quite well after this incident up until her teenage years. By then, she needed a lot of self-assurance as only a teenager would require. She worked night and day to improve her appearance and perceived maturity. While this may seemingly have produced changes on the outside, her deep-seated insecurities meant that she was maintaining little more than a facade; and that this facade would eventually collapse. What’s more, the standards of faux-perfection perpetuated by pop culture only served to fuel her negative self-talk.

This self-loathing eventually turned outwards. She did not like herself; now she did not like other people. She developed a bad temper and negative attitude towards those around her. It took years of personal growth, nurtured by “the village of women who raised me”, before Monique could finally shed her destructive paradigm of herself.

Monique warns against the potentially harmful influence of media and mass marketing on our minds. The majority of what they preach is superficial and materialistic in nature—that those with the nicest cars, houses, and clothes win. Instead, Monique proclaims that we must embrace every feature about ourselves, as we were personally handcrafted by God. “You will always be imperfectly perfect just the way you are.”

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