How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome w/ Cecil Cross

UX Marketing

Blake: [00:00:00] All right. On the podcast today, I have Cecil cross who's going to help us understand the ins and outs of a imposter syndrome. We're going to go into this in detail, but before Cecil, how are you doing?

[00:00:16] Cecil: [00:00:16] I'm doing great.

[00:00:19] Blake: [00:00:19] Yeah, so it's almost the weekend. I'm excited.

[00:00:22] Cecil: [00:00:22] That's right. And,

[00:00:23] Blake: [00:00:23] and I would love to get just a little bit of context on you before we dive into the topic at hand.

[00:00:29] So if you wouldn't mind just giving the audience an idea of, w just a brief history of your career so far, where you got started, how you got to where you are now, and everything in between.

[00:00:39] Cecil: [00:00:39] Sure. I'm a graphic designer slash creative director. And, I currently work for a software company, Around the Dallas, Texas area.

[00:00:49]but I was born in Michigan and I came up drawing like a lot of, a lot of young people, and I've been a designer for about, huh, almost 20 years, about between 18 and 19 years at this point. And I've had different roles where I've served as the designer and art director, one for school districts. That was my first major job.

[00:01:11] And, after that, a, a direct mail marketing company that was right around the time of the recession. And so that became a difficult time. And that was around the time that I really started kicking my fire of a up in third year because I had to provide for my family. After that, I worked for the Fox affiliates, from my hometown.

[00:01:34] And, just a few years ago, I moved out to Dallas and up in here. working in different positions, as increased responsibilities, touched a little bit of everything in the graph, buying industry from retail education, government technology. So that's kind of where I am now. And, and I also run a freelance brand consultant, brand consultancy and that creative direction.

[00:01:58] Okay.

[00:01:59] Blake: [00:01:59] So I think it's safe to say with all the different areas that you've worked that you've probably dealt with imposter syndrome before.

[00:02:05] Cecil: [00:02:05] Absolutely.

[00:02:06] Blake: [00:02:06] Yeah, we'll definitely get into that, but before that, one final context question, what would you consider to be your professional superpower? Connecting with

[00:02:18] Cecil: [00:02:18] people.

[00:02:19] Just connecting with people. Everything that I do from a creative standpoint, I try to find the human element. There's so many. Acronyms and businessy terms and jargon that can get in the way of that last scene it happened. But once you find that human connection, it's easier to tell a story no matter what, no matter what the industry is.

[00:02:42] So I think it's finding that human connection and treating people accordingly. This is my simple palette.

[00:02:47] Blake: [00:02:47] I love it. All right, well let's, let's talk about imposter syndrome and let's get into it because the audience is going to skew more toward people like, like me, where. Just trying to do side hustles cause that's what I like to do more at the beginning.

[00:03:01] That the end of my journey trying to build things that that means something to me. Yeah. Kind of starting from zero. So with that in mind, I think most of us at some point are going to feel imposter syndrome. I think it. When we think of that, it's often more of like a Silicon Valley kind of term where these big founders of big companies have imposter syndrome because they don't, I think that they're up to that task.

[00:03:22] But do you think it applies to a much smaller scale when you're like freelancing and things like that?

[00:03:28] Cecil: [00:03:28] Absolutely. from my perspective, imposter syndrome, has, has come up in the form of, I think I belong here, but for whatever reason, I feel like. I don't know, really belong here. Like I didn't really earn my way into the position that I am today.

[00:03:48] Maybe I stumbled upon my current level of success. Yes. And because of that, did I really do everything I needed to do in order to, okay. And for those that are freelancing or working on side hustles or consulting, there's so many talented people out there that may be doing the same thing that I'm doing.

[00:04:08] No. Who am I among these? This is great. See if people, am I really worthy, okay. Encountered among them. Well, people really come to me for my expertise. Who am I? You know? That's sort of in my experience with, with imposter syndrome. Who am I among all these other talented people? I'm no one, maybe I should even try.

[00:04:30] Blake: [00:04:30] So let's, let's dive into conquering that then, because I think that's the whole purpose of what you really want to talk about you do you identify with that mentality you just described. How do you take that? What's the first step?

[00:04:41] Cecil: [00:04:41] The first step is for me is what I've had to do over the last couple of years is stop comparing myself.

[00:04:50] Two others. It's a really big challenge, especially in the creative community. Cause there are a lot of, now it's just people out there. there are great. for me, I love the brand identity design. and there are some really fantastic I designers out there. But what I've learned to do is to look not that others, but to look at my path.

[00:05:10] Nope. And that's all that matters to me right now. Am I better than I was yesterday? And that way. I'm no longer competing against everyone. I'm just constantly trying to be a better version of myself. So I think that can translate to any endeavor. Well, from a freelance whole team or psychological basis.

[00:05:32]I think what I have to bring, yes. Special, even if it's been done before, no one has done it quite the way that I'm able to do it. And if I'm continually improving on my own process. And I can combat that imposter syndrome. And I'd also like to point out that I personally, I think it's okay occasionally to feel like an imposter, but that doesn't mean you have to succumb to the imposter syndrome.

[00:05:59] All right? If you feel occasionally, occasionally, like an imposter, then that means you're challenging yourself. Am I doing this the best way I can put this be done better? Is there someone else out there that's doing it a little bit better that I can learn from? Not be like, not totally emulate, but maybe I can learn from some of my peers and that'll help push me to be a better version of myself.

[00:06:20] Again, not comparing yourself to others. Okay. Comparing yourself to pack versus. I, I

[00:06:28] Blake: [00:06:28] personally really identify with that thought because I'm super guilty in the past of comparing myself to the success of others. You know, looking at people maybe that I went to high school with or that I knew in college that are already wealthier than I am and have a nice house in, in everything.

[00:06:44] You look at them and you think, why? Why can't that be me? Why are they so much better? But then you realize everybody's life is totally different with different circumstances. And. Who cares why, like nobody else cares that you're feeling and the, you're the only one that cares. So like there's really no purpose and you could feel a whole lot better in your life.

[00:07:05] Like you said, I love that you mentioned comparing yourself to your past self instead of others because that is a healthy relationship. That's not necessarily to mean put yourself down or think less of yourself even if you've gotten worse over time. It's just a reality check. It's motivation. So that stuff can be good to compare in that way.

[00:07:24] And I, I liked that from, from your standpoint, but I'm curious, taking it a step further than if we know, compare against yourself in the past, not against others, but then how do we take it to the next level if we're still feeling like, I'm really not cut out for this? How do we find motivation that works for us?

[00:07:43] Cecil: [00:07:43] Like I said before, it's, there's nothing wrong with looking at others. And, and, and finding inspiration and what they're doing. So start building a community. I think, you know, Blake, I think you've done a great job of building your own community and your own network. You're on, or rather on LinkedIn a practice, be a little bit more active over the last couple of years and you sort of get that encouragement.

[00:08:07] Okay? You'll find other people who may feel the same way that you feel. And, that, that encouragement. Can spur one onto action. And that's one of the main things to overcome. Imposter syndrome. Yeah. It can be a very paralyzing same, but once the, once you realize that there are others in your shoes for others who have overcome it, it's going to spur you on to do something about it.

[00:08:31] So if you have an idea, you know, yeah. The, the circumstances are never going to be perfect. you may have a really stressful job that drains you with mental energy. You may have a family, you have family obligations. you may have, maybe caring for her. They're sick, sick parents or sick, loved one, and that's taking a lot of pot.

[00:08:53] But final few minutes every day or every week, whatever your circumstances, a allow, it takes some sort of actions, some steps, four, to help you do that, whether it's learning more. whether it's, it's writing something down and making a list of stuff to, Oh, that you want to achieve to help you get to that.

[00:09:12] I go to networking events, take some sort of action. It helps you move past

[00:09:16] Blake: [00:09:16] it. Yeah. That, that's huge. I've talked about this with several people lately. Just the idea that perfection . Feeling like an imposter? What are all these excuses that you can come up with to stop you from starting something that, I mean, ultimately, if you can just start, no matter how imperfect, no matter how bad you are.

[00:09:37] Like if you're a YouTube creator, for example, and you're trying to start this YouTube channel and you're really bad at your videos upfront, that's kind of expected and it's okay. You should just be posting, right? That's more important than having Casey Neistat's videos that are super, highly produced and get millions of views.

[00:09:55] Because if you, if, if you were sprung, if that success was sprung on you right now and you posted your first video and got millions of views, you wouldn't know how to handle that. It wouldn't mean anything to you. So there's, there is a method to the madness of life where things don't come easily for a reason.

[00:10:09] If you can start and stay consistently growing, then you can have success over time and it'll actually mean something to you.

[00:10:16] Cecil: [00:10:16] Yeah, that's right. Martin square has done a masterclass this class. he mentioned that if you, if you don't pills physically ill after your no first attempt at a film or directing well writing, then maybe you're doing it wrong.

[00:10:34] Yeah. You don't have to wait and practice on this stuff in secret. Let me go into. My inner chamber and right. The perfect, correct, or produce the perfect design, or to the perfect distance. Perfect video. Just do it and you'll, it's okay. Literally on the job, real-world training you're learning in real life, IRL.

[00:10:56] Okay. And that'll help, you know, you'll, you'll be surprised that a community will rally around you. I love a good underdog story. You know, Rocky captain America. I'm just a kid from Queens. Michael, stop. You know, he wants to be a great boss. People like an underdog story and they just, you know, Jewish cause stanza, you know, we all just want to row and see each other, do better people who have achieve their success and they're living their best lives.

[00:11:23] It looks like that right now. But we didn't see when they were, in the garage building a computer. You know, we didn't see one when they were going through this. it just seems to us that it was, and it's an overnight success, but it took, it takes everyone once a week, years of, of trial and error and experienced system.

[00:11:42] Okay. They only get starting over. It's really hit that, The pinnacle of success that we're all, Hmm.

[00:11:49] Blake: [00:11:49] One thing that's, I've always been interested in me that I've tried to ask myself in situations where I feel like, man, this, this sucks. I wish that it was totally different. Why does this have to be me in, in situations like that, this applies even to imposter syndrome.

[00:12:02] If I'm feeling like I don't know if I can do this, I like to ask myself what is the opposite of this situation? And then once I've identified that, like I can reverse engineer a little bit the path from where I'm at, where I am to where I need to be going. So I'm curious. What do you think the opposite scenario of imposter syndrome is?

[00:12:22] Cecil: [00:12:22] Okay. To me, and it came to me like an epiphany from the standpoint of imposter syndrome is, from what I've seen, sort of a hot topic right now. It's been around for a long time. So people are starting to come to terms with assistance, but also branding it. And to me, imposter syndrome is the anti brand.

[00:12:46] And so, when a person is trying to build up their brand, their personal brand or their company's brand, yup. Constantly doing things to reinforce, what their brand promise is. and so they, they take positive action to enhance the brand. They put, put it out there. They network, they produced content.

[00:13:07]they continually tell the same story, what impossible seems almost the, it's the exact opposite is. It's stealing. Like I don't have a good enough personal brand. So everything I do is kind of self deprecating and I don't produce constants and I don't go to networking events. Nice. Don't, you know, pride quest services where they should be.

[00:13:28] And so when I started looking at it like that, I saw the path is clear as day. Yeah. Imposter syndrome will have me either standing still or moving backwards. Looking at myself and my personal brand as a, as a brand, as a company, in a, in a brand is what other people say about you when you're not.

[00:13:47] Yeah. You know what? I care about myself personally. Well, seeing that line from now where I am to an established brand, I mean, the book take. That was four I'm going to do more. I'm going to do price my services accordingly. I'm going to go to these networking events. I'm going to break out of my shell, talk to people more.

[00:14:08] I'm going to engage in other people's content. Let's take care of people and not put other people down. All that stuff. It's going to enhance your brand rather than thank you further into this imposter syndrome.

[00:14:21] Blake: [00:14:21] That's, that's super enlightening actually, because the thought that just popped into my mind, you mentioned having a brand is like when you're not in the room, that's what people say about you, and it's almost like imposter syndrome is when you're in the room, it's what you say about yourself.

[00:14:35] Cecil: [00:14:35] Oh

[00:14:36] Blake: [00:14:36] yeah. And so it's like, well, it's, it's recorded. It's, it's an air forever. It's on the internet, but that it's almost opposite in that, in that way as well. So it works both ways because. Imposter syndrome. It's all these things that you're making up about yourself to self deprecate, like you said, but things that aren't actually motivationally beneficial.

[00:14:58] But then once you get past that and take positive action and get to a place where you feel like you have a brand, then people say things while you're not in the room. Positive things, hopefully. but that's, that's just an interesting correlation. And I'm curious. It kind of a tough question. I don't know if there is a right answer for you, if you're going to have examples here, but what kind of questions should we be asking ourselves to make sure that once we're past imposter syndrome and we feel like we're in a good place, that we never forget to keep challenging ourselves?

[00:15:29] Like what can we ask ourselves to keep that motivation?

[00:15:32]Cecil: [00:15:32] That's a really good question. Excuse me. No, maybe a question. That, that you could ask yourself. Is there anything positive about my current situation that I, that wasn't the case. you know, the last time I asked this question, right? So if you start making those positive steps, no.

[00:15:53] Did I, did I get a job? Yeah. No. Accepted my new pricing structure. And if so, that's great. I'm on the right track. Did I go to any networking events and make any good connections, recently in it. So that's a step in the right direction for awhile. It may even seem my, you're not making any money awkward.

[00:16:12]because somethings do take, I ended up going to Africa overnight. Yeah. Asking yourself, am I better off today than I was yesterday? That's the whole point. That too. To move past this a hole that I'm in right now, not feeling worthy. I may still not feel tomorrow, but do I feel more worthy tomorrow than I did?

[00:16:37] Okay. So, yeah. Am I better off today than I was yesterday? No matter what the split. Okay. Okay. It's probably answered the question. I don't know if that's,

[00:16:48] Blake: [00:16:48] yeah, I don't know. I think it's really interesting to ask ourselves questions like that. I that's helpful to me at least. Just take a step back. It's almost like an a gratitude exercise.

[00:16:58] Once you get to that point, like you're asking these questions to spark a sense of gratitude with what you have, but then also there's the other side of it. Like what's a question that you could ask that would help push you towards doing more?

[00:17:16] Cecil: [00:17:16] Well, that's the question. What more can I do? What more can I do?

[00:17:22] Can I, and I go to more conferences? is there more that I can learn about this current? about this current endeavor? If, again, I go back to my own experience. I'm a designer, at heart drawings, the age of five, but I'm a lifelong learner. Well, I look at others' work. Oh, I really liked that versus this, this, I want to be better.

[00:17:44] Can I learn how to do that? Can I take some time to learn how to do that? What more can I do? Can I go to a creative conference this year and be inspired by others? Can I mentor someone else and help them along in their journey and, and helping someone else? You know, we usually help ourselves. All right?

[00:18:00] So you know that the, the weight away from imposter syndrome isn't always just focusing on yourself. I'm just focusing on others and helping others because no matter. How quote unquote, far behind we think we are. There's someone else who probably feels like they're far behind you and you don't even know it.

[00:18:20] So maybe help someone else or mentor someone and, and that'll help you with your own journey.

[00:18:26] Blake:...