The Lies We Tell Ourselves - It's Easier if I Do it Myself

Crash Courses in Communication with Alex Perry

I thought it was time to do a little series, and I'm excited to talk with you about the lies we tell at work because we lie, ya know? Now there are all kinds of lies that we tell, but I think some of the most tragic lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves. It's often these lies that keep us from communicating effectively with each other. They keep us from having conversations that would make our work (and lives) easier in the long run.

The first line I'm tackling is; "It's easier if I just do it myself."

Ohhhhhh, it's a good one. I know how to do XYZ best, I've been doing it longer, I can do it better, etc., etc. If they do it and screw up, it will take more work to fix in the long run. Oh, sure, it may seem easier to do it yourself, and maybe you do save time in the long run. But are you telling yourself the truth?

When you say, "It's easier to do it myself," are you saying... I don't trust those around me to do the job right. Ouch.

If you find yourself saying, "It's easier if I just do it myself." Stop before going further and ask if that's true. Really true. Sure, it might save you time in the short run, but what's it costing you long term?

Are you creating dependents when you want others to be independent? Are you stifling someone else's growth and development because you don't want to spend the time teaching them? Is this a pride issue for you? Do you think that just because you do something well that others can't, or even worse, they might be able to do it better than you?

Are you crushing team creativity because you believe a leader needs to know "everything?". What does it say to your team, colleagues, and leaders when you are unwilling or unable to ask for or let someone else help?

These are tough questions that I can't answer for you. Only you can. I can tell you what I've learned for myself and from coaching others. And that's when I say, "It's easier to do it myself." What I mean is I'm not willing to trust someone else to do the work or take the time to teach someone else to do the work, or I'm afraid to let someone else fail on my watch because it might reflect poorly on me.

These are hard truths, and it's important to talk about them because we don't get better when we tell ourselves lies.

We get better when we recognize that we're willing to let go, willing to teach, and willing to fail; we gain so much more than when we try to do it all on our own.

That's it for today. Thank you for listening! If you found today's Crash Course helpful, please share it with your colleagues and friends and hit the subscribe button so you don't miss an episode. It's great talking with you. Keep going strong, my friend; remember that I'm always your front-row fan.

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