Shadow Work & Intimate Relationships (with Luke Adler)

Evolutionary Men

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow series, Luke Adler and I discuss the impact of shadow work on long-term relationships. We share our own experiences of how shadow work has transformed our marriages and how important the work has been to maintain vitality and prevent stagnation. We explore the need for personal responsibility and owning one’s pain and wounding in order to avoid projecting it onto our intimate relationship. In short, having a place to explore our shadow in the safety of a group of men is a potent way to keep our intimate relationship alive and healthy.

Learn more about the Heart of Shadow men’s group and retreat here.

00:00:59 – The Importance of Shadow Work in Relationships 00:01:53 – Projecting Wounds and the Nice Guy Syndrome 00:03:28 – Reclaiming Power and Setting Boundaries 00:05:37 – The Impact of Family Dynamics on Relationships 00:07:46 – Addressing Narratives and Dynamics in Marriage 00:09:06 – The Consequences of Suppressing Conflict 00:10:28 – The Weight of Providing and Nurturing in Relationships 00:13:14 – The Role of Conflict in Relationship Growth 00:19:15 – Demonstrating Reconnection and Apologies 00:21:06 – The Significance of Shadow Work in Personal Growth 00:23:35 – The Role of Men’s Groups in Relationship Improvement 00:25:07 – Addressing the Mother Lover Syndrome 00:27:27 – The Healing Power of Men’s Groups 00:41:20 – The Need for Men to Heal with Other Men 00:47:52 – Trusting the Masculine Within and Among Men

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