"No, I Am Not Fine!" P.T.S.D. and Birth Trauma: AMY LEIGH LOOPER

BLUE MUMDAYS

This week's guest is Amy Leigh Looper, a maternal leadership coach based in the United States. After a hugely successful career in enterprise software sales, Amy suffered postpartum depression with both of her children. We discuss the impact this had on her life and how she has turned her drive and knowledge to coaching mums on her maternal leadership program, which reduces fear and anxiety and encourages connection, confidence and growth.

This episode was recorded over Zoom from America, so apologies for the fluctuating sound quality. And for Brandy the Siamese cat's cameo at the beginning!

*TRIGGER WARNING: *Birth Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, brief mention of Suicide*

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[01:53] Introduction to Amy.

[03:41] Life before having her daughters.

[04:47] The first pregnancy - placenta praevia and bed rest.

[07:27] The mental load of tongue tie issues and sleep deprivation.

[10:04] Aiva's birth - C-section.

[10:58] *Trigger warning: brief mention of suicide of close family member*

[12:17] Lack of emotional support from her husband due to grief.

[15:05] Emberly's birth - V.B.A.C. and forceps.

[16:42] Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and E.M.D.R. Therapy.

[20:15] A forced smile 'get this baby off of me'.

[21:30] The impact of medical students watching the birth.

[25:10] P.T.S.D. and heightened anxiety. Leaving her high-flying career.

[30:14] How you fundamentally change when you become a mother.

[37:22] Finding her calling.

[39:14] How employers need to better support working mothers.

[40:26] Amy's work supporting other mums.

[43:48] Attitudes and support for postpartum depression in America.

[52:47] How to improve the system - better education, including employers.

[54:48] The impact of short maternity leave in America.

[56:41] Personal growth.

[58:21] Amy's message to her younger self and for others out there suffering.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. Click here for Amy's website for more information on her maternal leadership coaching and courses, including overcoming Working Mother Burnout.
2. Information on Placenta Praevia
3. Find out more about Tongue Tie
4. Click for information on V.B.A.C. – Vaginal Birth After Caesarean.
5. Link to information on P.T.S.D. – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
6. Find out more about E.M.D.R. Therapy here – Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.
7. Listen to Christina Brown's episode of Blue MumDays
8. Medicaid support for postpartum parents in America
9. According to Amy, 75% of women suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety in America don’t seek support.
10. Listen to the Blue MumDays episode on Birth Trauma here – with Dr Rebecca Moore of ‘Make Birth Better’.
11. Find out more about Amy's book 'Leading Motherhood' through this link. It launches on 16th February 2023.
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If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

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NEXT EPISODE:

Next time I speak to author, podcaster and professional grief counsellor Keji Moses. Keji talks movingly about the devastation of losing her baby girl Mayah, who was stillborn at 35 weeks. She has since made it her mission to shed light on the mental health impacts of pregnancy loss. Through her charity Mayah's Legacy, Keji supports families affected by this very personal tragedy and helps them to advocate for the care they need.

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER.

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [e-mail]

Tel: [phone]

ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association

National Resource Center (NRC)/ADHD Helpline Health Information Specialists

866-200-8098, Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. — 5 p.m. ET

ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD

The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

Call us - 0151 541 9020

Email - [e-mail]

AIMS for better birthing.

Email: [e-mail]

This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

Telephone: [phone]

You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [e-mail]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [e-mail]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [e-mail]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [e-mail]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [e-mail] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: [phone]

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

Contact a Family

www.cafamily.org.uk

Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)

CLAPA – Cleft Lip and Palate Association

www.clapa.com

Information and support on cleft lip and palate treatment.

Dad Matters

Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

[e-mail]

0161 344 0669

DadsNet

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Dope Black Dads

A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world.

[e-mail]

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

FiveXMore

A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

Email: [e-mail]

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

LGBT Mummies

Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

Email: [e-mail]

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [e-mail]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [e-mail] to arrange

Mayah's Legacy

Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.

Email: [e-mail]

0300 102 1596

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[e-mail]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

[e-mail]

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[e-mail]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [e-mail]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

National Autistic Society

www.autism.org.uk

Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [e-mail]

Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

[e-mail]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [e-mail]

Tel: [phone]

PMH Support

Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran.

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [e-mail]