02: My First Night Ever Stripping

Stripcast: True Stories from a Stripper with a PhD

Hello friends! Thanks for tuning in to Stripcast, true stories from a stripper with a PhD. Today, I am going to tell you about my first night ever stripping. After totaling my car on the way to the club and earning my first “naughty stripper” fine on my very first night ever stripping, this much was obvious: I had no fucking clue what I was doing. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to have an old pro give me some tips and introduce me to the fundamentals of strip club culture. I hope you get a laugh and perhaps some insight from this libertine tale of my first night ever stripping. Enjoy!

My first night ever stripping...

Truths and insights into my first night ever stripping:

• In 1999, pantsuits and closed toe pumps were hot shit for club wear
• Keep your eyes on the road, even when looking frantically for a stripper store at which to purchase these items
• Zebra print pantsuit, silver pumps, “bitch” rhinestone earrings make for a dope-ass baby stripper get-up
• A blur of electric nerves in the baseline emotion for a first-time professional naked lady
• Some men want a friend; some get attached; some are powerful and secretive; some want to be called “bitch;” some are addicted to strippers; some fall in love; some become friends; some become stalkers.
• Removing your top at the wrong time results in a hefty fine and an angry housemom
• $187, a fortune, marks the beginning of a career

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