18. 11 Years, 11 Lessons: From Rejection to Reflection after Divorce

The Divorce Chapter

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Hey there, over here diving into Twixtmas and hoping you had a peaceful Christmas.

This time between the holidays is magical for reflection, and I've always loved it. Back when I was married, those days when the kids and the ex were away, and I had the house to myself – it was almost better than Christmas! But then 2012 hit, and after a horrendous Christmas, I walked out on 28 of December.

Unexpectedly, that became a blessing in disguise, and now, 11 years later, I want to share 11 key lessons I've learned.

Lessons Learned:

1. Being Rejected is Not the End

- I spent years fearing rejection, tying it to my worth. Turns out, rejection is redirection. It led me out of a toxic marriage into a happier life.

2. You Can't Change Other People:

- No matter how much I searched for reasons behind the divorce, I couldn't change him. People show who they are; my ex-husband was always going to be who he was.

3. Own Your Shit:

- The hardest lesson was owning my part, shifting from victim to taking responsibility. It's the third step in my Blossom Method.

4. Heal Before Dating:

- Jumping into the dating pool too soon led to ‘encounters’ with all sorts. It’s not a clear water dating pool….

5. No Need for External Validation:

- External validation used to be everything. Now, I've learned to find validation within, realizing I'm complete on my own.

6. Solo Holidays are Cool:

- Discovering the joy of holidaying alone was unexpected. Embracing independence and enjoying my own company turned out to be pretty amazing.

7. Knowing When to Throw Down the Anchor:

- Picture sailing through life, hit by a storm. Learning to throw down the anchor, finding stability amidst chaos, was a game-changer.

8. Trust Your Gut:

- Trusting my gut was a tough lesson. I knew something was off in my marriage, but I doubted myself (as did everyone else). Always trust your gut; it's been my compass ever since.

9. I love Sleeping Alone:

- Surprisingly, sleeping alone became a love affair. No snoring, no farting – just me and my abundant AF bed.

10. Divorce is Not Shameful:

- Overcoming the stigma attached to divorce was liberating. It's not shameful, and I won't let societal judgments define my journey.

11. Breath by Breath, Step by Step:

- Taking life one breath, one step at a time is how I moved forward after divorce. It's about showing up for yourself every day, gradually blossoming into the next chapter.

So, there you have it – 11 lessons from 11 years post-divorce. I'm grateful for the empowerment and contentment I've found. If you've got your own lessons or thoughts, shoot me a message. Let's keep this conversation going.

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1. 18. 11 Years, 11 Lessons: From Rejection to Reflection after Divorce (00:00:00)

2. Twixtmas reflections.... until 2012 (00:01:21)

3. Number one - rejection is redirection (00:03:24)

4. Number two - you can't change other people (00:06:17)

5. Number three - own your shit (00:08:49)

6. Number four - healing before diving into dating (00:11:53)

7. Number five - no external validation needed (00:14:46)

8. Number six - solo holidays (00:16:31)

9. Number seven - throwing down the anchor (00:17:38)

10. Number eight - trust your gut ALWAYS (00:21:07)

11. Number nine -solo sleeping is bloody great (00:23:34)

12. Number ten - divorce is NOT shameful (00:24:33)

13. Number eleven - breath by breath, step by step (00:26:20)

14. Summing up and all the love for 2024 (00:28:03)