95: Grief and missing someone you love over Christmas

The Selfish Podcast with Chloe & Steph

I got really techy and recorded the Instagram live I did over at @the.selfishpodcast. Here it is x
Just had a little chat about grief & missing someone you love over the holidays 🤍. A few thoughts from me:
- it’s ok to set boundaries. This is strongly encouraged!
It’s also ok to opt out of Christmas and other festive events.
I like to have a pre planned “script/template” of what I will say if it all gets too much.
- introduce your own traditions that include your loved one. This might be making a donation in their name or something else that is meaningful to you. No pressure to do this, or work this out straight away, in your own time and when it makes sense 🤍
- incorporate them into the day/ your celebrations. For us this is an ornament on the tree, lighting a candle for our boy, and making a toast before we eat.
It could also include playing their favourite song or watching a movie you enjoyed together. Drinking “their” drink, or saving a seat for them at the table.
You may want to reach out to the host of the event and let them know how you want to honor your loved one ahead of time.
- make space for your emotions: feel the feelings, cry the tears. Things are so busy this time of year it is easy to hurry yourself along and not have a moment to reflect. You could do this by going on a walk in nature or on the beach. For me it is star gazing.
- prioritise your wellbeing and self care. What do YOU need to recharge, replenish, restore.
If you have any other things that have helped you at this time of year please let us know in the comments.
Be gentle to yourself this time of year and sending you much love
xx
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