A Deeper Look at Forgiveness and Apologies - with Lisa Stoddard-Reeves - Episode 257

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

In this episode, we welcome Lisa Stoddard Reeves to discuss the complex aspects of forgiveness in relationships, particularly within Christian contexts. Lisa highlights the potential harms of oversimplifying forgiveness, especially in cases of significant betrayals. She examines the different dimensions and types of forgiveness — including extending grace, trust, and reconciliation, as well as divine forgiveness — while emphasizing the need to avoid coercive language like 'Will you forgive me?'. Lisa also draws on academic insights from game theory and the scriptures to illustrate the dynamics of fair and balanced relationships. The discussion underscores the importance of maintaining responsibility with the wrongdoer rather than placing undue burdens on the victim.

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About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

About Lisa Stoddard-Reeves:
Lisa Stoddard-Reeves graduated from BYU in humanities/art history and is currently doing graduate work in religious studies with a focus on religion and society with Harvard. She is particularly interested in women's issues, healthy sexuality, mindfulness, peace studies and how power shapes our interactions and environments at all times. She is a Home & Family spoke leader with a Bolder Way Forward (BWF), an initiative with the Utah Women and Leadership Project (UWLP), with a goal to ensure that more women and girls can thrive in any Utah setting. She and her husband own a local mortgage company based in Lindon, Utah.

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The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.