How to Tell People What You REALLY Think

You Are Not A Frog

Saying what you really feel – especially in a high-stress job – is no easy task. Crucial conversations are often avoided for fear of damaging relationships. These unaired grievances get bottled up and over time can increase our level of stress.

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But there are three core conditions for effective conversation that can help here: empathy (stepping into someone else’s shoes), unconditional respect (accepting the other’s right to be as they are), and congruence (expressing our thoughts and feelings authentically).

Sadly, ignoring a problem with another person – or avoiding giving negative feedback – won't make them go away. On the contrary, too many important things going unsaid can lead to a toxic environment where stress levels rise, relationships break down, and productivity suffers.

But, by stepping into the other party’s shoes, respecting their right to be as they are, and expressing our own thoughts authentically, we can create a more psychologically safe environment where issues are dealt with respectfully.

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Listen to this episode to

• Learn about the three core conditions for effective conversation
• Understand how balancing these conditions can improve communication and lead to healthier relationships
• Discover strategies to identify and address conversations you've been avoiding, reducing stress and unresolved conflicts

Episode highlights

• [00:03:50] Where people struggle to say what they mean
• [00:04:44] Bringing your whole self to work
• [00:08:59] The 3 core conditions for being with people
• [00:17:56] What to do if you're stuck in a "must-win" mindset
• [00:22:10] Saying what you really mean
• [00:27:27] Identifying your emotions
• [00:31:01] When to ask for help
• [00:34:20] How to give difficult feedback
• [00:39:42] How to take difficult feedback
• [00:43:54] When tricky feedback situations become unpleasant
• [00:48:53] Lasy's top tips

About the guest

Lasy encourages people to bring their authentic selves to work, promoting a healthier and more honest work environment. She co-founded Conscious Business People to advocate for bringing our entire personality to come to work, over surface-level perks like dress-down Fridays. Her mission is to make people see work as part of their life and to enhance authenticity in the workplace.

Website | LinkedIn

Resources

• THRIVE Weekly Planner
• Watch the video version on YouTube
• More episodes of You Are Not a Frog:
• How to Get Moving Again When You Feel Stuck – Episode 207 with Nicola Rylett-Jones
• How to Challenge Upsetting Behaviour – Episode 192 with Dr Chris Turner
• What Happens When We’re Really Listened to – Episode 180 with Tom Dillon
• Download the episode’s podsheet. You can use it for reflection and to submit for your appraisal as part of your CPD.

Mentioned in this episode:

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