#419: Why Making Friends as an Adult is so HARD... and How to Cultivate a Community

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Where did everyone go?? At some point, many/most adults look up one day to realize that all their old friends have either moved to Austin or are completely buried in #babylife or never-ending home improvement projects… and they have nobody to spontaneously get a beer with on a Tuesday night. Can you relate?

It's not just you. Did you know that, on average, most people lose more friends every year than they gain? Over time, your life can become increasingly lonely unless you’re actively working to build and maintain friendships. But here’s the thing: making new friends as an adult is harder than it sounds. 😅

In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, we dive deep into the complexities of adult friendships with journalist Kelly Stout, who spent a month trying to make just one new friend… and learned some important things that she’s sharing with YOU. From the unexpected emotional hurdles to the surprising lessons about vulnerability and connection, we explore what it really takes to form meaningful relationships in adulthood. 💛

If you’ve ever struggled with loneliness, wondered why your social circle shrinks as the years go by, or just feel stuck when it comes to making new friends, this episode is for you. 🙌

Chapters 00:00 Can Happiness Really Be Found Through Friendships? 00:19 Why Your Friendships Are More Important Than You Think 00:58 Meet Kelly Stout: Her One-Month Quest to Make a New Friend 02:30 What Happens When You Set a Deadline to Make a Friend? 04:58 The Hidden Challenges of Building Friendships as an Adult 12:55 What Actually Defines a True Friendship? 15:40 Friendship Experiments: What Works and What Doesn’t 18:32 Why Opening Up to Others Feels So Scary—And Necessary 22:33 The Biggest Lessons We Learned About Friendship 25:01 When Friendships Feel Fleeting: Why It Happens 25:45 Vulnerability Hangover: Ever Felt It? Here’s Why It Happens 25:56 Turning Points: When You Realize You’re Doing Friendship All Wrong 26:33 Can You Fast-Track Emotional Intimacy? Let’s Find Out 27:18 Why We Gravitate Toward People Just Like Us—And What to Do About It 27:45 Discovering the Power of Friendships with People Who Are Different 28:19 The Comfort and Complexity of Long-Term Friendships 29:53 Bumble for Friends: Can You Really Make Friends on an App? 32:01 How Internalized Shame is Holding You Back from Friendship 34:03 The Reality of Keeping Friendships Alive as an Adult 43:57 Why We Crave Community—and How to Build One 47:01 Modern Loneliness: Why Life is Designed to Keep Us Isolated 53:44 Final Reflections: How to Create Real Friendships That Last

💡 Learn how to overcome the struggles of making friends as an adult and build a community that brings joy and connection back into your life.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: I think you and I should be friends! Come hang out with me on a Thursday live stream! Mark your calendar right now, it's at 12pm MT / 2pm ET on my Instagram, Youtube, and Facebook. This week we're talking about friendships. If you have a question or conundrum related to this, here's the link to ask in advance: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa. Be sure to subscribe/follow so you get updates and recaps!

P.P.S. As promised in this podcast, here's the link to grab your totally free and VAST collection of all my best articles and podcasts on the subject of healthy relationships. I made it for YOU.