345: A New Father’s Experience Through His Wife’s Postpartum Psychosis with Tony Pacitti

Mom and Mind

It is astounding to note that 1 in 10 dads will experience a perinatal mental health condition, and research shows that dads also face hormonal changes. This Monday, June 17, 2024, is International Father’s Mental Health Day, and we want to bring fathers’ mental health to the forefront in today’s episode. When a mom goes through a perinatal mental health disorder, her partner is 50% more likely to also struggle. This is an important topic to discuss regarding the entire family system. Especially on social media, dads’ experiences are pushed aside and discounted because they don’t physically go through pregnancy and birth as a mother does, but we want to shed light on and give a voice to dads and the important part they play in the entire perinatal process. I’m grateful that my guest is sharing his story of becoming a new father. Join us to hear Tony’s story!

Tony Pacitti, a writer, navigated pandemic parenthood to welcome his twin sons in 2020. He shares how he coped with the initial shock of his wife’s postpartum psychosis and psychiatric care, the emotions he encountered, and the complexities of writing and talking about this topic from a father’s perspective. Tony writes regularly about this topic and has been featured on numerous podcasts to share his story and bring awareness to a father’s perspective of perinatal mental health conditions. You can find out more about Tony’s life and work at his website.

Show Highlights:

• Highlights of Tony’s story: twins born in 2020 during the pandemic and his wife’s psychotic episodes that began a few days later with paranoia, confusion, and hallucinations
• The shock, heartbreak, and fright Tony felt at seeing his wife’s psychosis play out in the hospital
• The response and efforts of the medical staff to help his wife—even though no one ever used the term “postpartum psychosis”
• After his wife and sons were home, she showed signs of depression and confessed to being suicidal.
• The dual realities in what he and others were seeing and what his wife was seeing about the twins’ health and wellness
• The back-and-forth experience of day treatment, short-term hospitalizations, and continued symptoms until she went for a long-term stay of more than a month
• Tony’s support system of his parents, therapist, PSI, and friends who helped out with the twins’ care
• The treatment (ECT: electroconvulsive therapy) and medications that finally worked and allowed his wife to come home
• An update on Tony’s wife now: the healthy and improved version, “Sondra 3.0”
• The truth about perinatal mental health conditions: the entire family system is greatly affected
• Tony’s need to document their experience and acknowledge what they went through

Resources:

Connect with Tony Pacitti: Website

Click here to find resources about International Father’s Mental Health Day.

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to better support people for whom they provide services.

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!